please help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Steph80000, Mar 15, 2014.

  1. Steph80000

    Steph80000 New Member

    I have a very strange and complicated situation with my 20-year-old aspergers son.
    His father and I (we are divorced) obtained limited guardianship/conservatorship of him when he turned 18 (January 2012) because he was found to be partially disabled. We did not use an attorney - we just filed the petition and paperwork ourselves. We submitted the necessary doctor reports, etc.

    I hope you all can follow this.

    He graduated high school a few months after we obtained guardianship and then he started using drugs. Things went from bad to worse over the course of 18 months.

    We have gone to guardianship judge three times since September 2013 asking for rehab for our son. He has said no each time. He didn't even look at our dr reports that we filed and he didn't even listen.

    In October our son was arrested for reckless driving and failed several drug tests on that bond.

    The last time we asked the judge for rehab, he took guardianship away from us and gave it to the state.

    A few days after that, our son came home so high that he was causing a scene in the front yard. I called the police and he was arrested for public intoxication. The drug test showed that was on several drugs. I talked to county attorney and asked if they could help by recommending him to go to rehab. They did that and he is in rehab for 90 days.

    We went back to judge to see if we could get guardianship back and the judge refused. We are better able to provide a rehab for our son. It was recommended by his counselor that he go to a dual diagnosis facility. The state has him in a sketchy place using non-fda approved treatment. The judge said to give the guardian time to "do something."

    After a month and a half, the guardian had still not met with Aidan and she wouldn't return any of his calls or our calls.

    So we hired an attorney and filed for guardianship again. Last Monday we went to court and the judge refused us again.

    The state has now had guardianship for 60 days. The guardian has not requested his medical records, the guardian has not met with him, the guardian has spoken with him one time, and the guardian is making decisions for him.

    The judge and guardian ad litem have been a nightmare. All we've wanted was to get treatment for our son. The state is now trying to keep him from talking to us and telling the facility not to talk to us.

    There's a lot more to this that would really disturb you, but I am trying to keep the post short.

    Can anyone offer any suggestions of what we should do? Where we should go? Can you think of who we should talk to?

    He's an addict, but first he's a kid with a disability and that's what everyone has forgotten about.

    If you've read this far - thank you for sticking with me.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm "sticking with you" but I am confused. I have been a GAL and the Court system only appointed GAL's to abused and neglected children.; I can't "get" how they got involved with your legally adult son. How did that happen? In our State there are not enough GAL's for the minors in crisis.

    I don't know what the mandates are in your State so I can't give an intelligent response. on the other hand, I can send caring and supportive hugs your way. DDD
  3. Steph80000

    Steph80000 New Member

    At the recommendation of his doctor we petitioned the court for guardianship before he turned 18. The guardian ad litem was appointed for him during that process to investigate, etc. When we went back to court a year and a half later to ask for help in getting son into rehab, she was there at every hearing.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. You may do a lot better if you posted in Parent Emeritus where our adult children are over eighteen and it's legally different. I understand guardianship. I have that over my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son. If t he court doesn't think I'm doing a good job, I suppose they could strip my guardianship away too and give it to the court. Legally, our adult children do not have the rights other eighteen year olds have which is why the courts are involved in his case. I am a little fuzzy on the partial guardianship and partial disabled. He has to be disabled for you to have gotten guardianship and from what I understand it's not partial in either case.

    I'm sorry that the judge didn't feel it was a good idea to put him into rehab. I think it's a good idea. And I'm sorry your son is going in the wrong direction.daughter, a GAl *would* be appointed for an adult who is disabled who is not given the rights of other eighteen year olds. They are treated as minors in the court system.

    I invite you to post in Parent Emeritus, as I said earlier, because the parents there have adult children of all sorts. Substance abuse may be another good place to post. Maybe even better.

    I think it's outrageous that the courts are not trying to help him. Since he is legally still in your care, what in the world do they expect you to do to help him???? I think the attorney was a very good move and I'd keep working with him. I wish I knew more so I could give better advice.