I've reached the very end of my rope with this kid. AS I am typing this, I think, what exactly is my major malfunction, that I can come up with advice for any person's issues but I can't handle my little demon. I tried putting her room as basket C. I tried to do a chart, that went absolutely nowhere. Last week, she went to my dad's to go swimming. Before she left, I told her to pick up the room, and whatever she didn't pick up was going to be tossed out. She went through that room and picked and chose what she wanted to keep, and left the rest. Including garbage and clothes (clean and dirty). Which left ME to follow through by picking up all the junk she no longer wanted AND all her trash and tossing it. Plus sorting the clothes she had strewn about the room. So this week starts with a pretty clean slate. it took no time for tat room to get back to disaster status. As time has gone on, I see that her mess is migrating throughout the home. Trash everywhere. (she eats a granola bar, tosses the wrapper on the floor. she cuts out something on a piece of paper, the scraps are on the floor. She uses a bandaid, the garbage is on the friggin floor) SO I try other methods. No treat (sweet) until you clean up at least part of it. Past is her favorite meal. For 2 days she has asked for it. For 2 days I have told her that she can have it when the room gets picked up. Now see at MY place, it is a 2 BR apt, and recently we moved my bed into the living room (near the AC) for my breathing purposes, and made what was my room the "den" where she has her desk of art things (trying to decongest her room) and also where my dresser is, along with an area for me to sit and read. Well THAT room is overloaded with her trash too. She has kept it out of the living room (because I spend all my time there) but just throws it in her room. I don't know how else to get her to clean it. And at this point, it isn't just her cleaning her room. It is her thinking that she runs this home. And because I am so sick, she pretty much does. It is pathetic. I am embarrassed.She is 6. Here is how today went so far: She woke up long before me (I was having an insomnia problem) so she woke me at 7:30 to tell me that she was going to her friend's house. I said no you are not, it is too early. I made myself sit up, tried to wake up, could not wake all the way up. She says "well can I just go on the patio" I tell her OK. She walks out the door and takes off to the friend's house. Comes back a few minutes later to tell me that they are not up yet Uh, duh? I say look, while you are waiting for them to wake up, let's do this. let's get your room picked up in segments. She starts by having a meltdown. I have no more patience for that crap. Just because I tell her she has to clean her room, she throws a fit. I can't take that anymore. So I go against everything I know to be right and good and I threaten her with a spanking if the does not stop. After a good 10 more minutes of her having a coronary and my blood ready to boil, she picks up the parts to her dollhouse. Yippee. She announces that she is done. I say ok, take a break, and then we will do some more. She takes a break. walks in and I can tell she is overwhelmed, the mess is huge. That is why I am breaking it down for her. I say ok, now your dress up clothes. she does. That is one handful, put into a box, and now she wants a break again, I'm like are you kidding me. SO what does she do? pull out her dress up clothes again. and dresses in them. ok, FINE, wear the dressup clothes, just let's get the room picked up, huh? well then the friends come over just as we have to go meet my mom (dropping off my car at the shop) and Tink wants to go play. I tell her no, she starts flipping out and calls me a COW! Well I saw red. I am screaming at her, and I'm really mad at me. How the &*%$# did I let it get this far? HOW did this kid get control of this house??? at what point did it enter her head that it is okay to call her mom a name like this??? OMFG!! SO we meet mom, and drop my van off. Now I have ue of mom's car, and my fatass doesn't even fit in it. I am in tears, I can't take this life anymore. I try to calm myself down, we get home, and Tink wants to play out. I tell her no, clean up first. her answer? No. I won't. Just no. ok, I get the timer. Here Tink, clean for 10, rest for 10. "oh can I play first, I want to show you a dance". sure, wrap me around your maipulative finger a bit more. She plays for 10, and when the buzzer goes of, refuses to clean. She is in her room shouting "no no no no no no no no no" SO I tell her she will not leave the room until it is clean. "YOU MEAN I DON'T EVEN GET TO EAT SUPPER? OH MOMMY I AM GOING TO STARVE! I WANT MY DADDY!!!" I can't take this. I'm ready to run.