Puberty and bipolar/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) daughter

My 11 year old is showing signs of the onset of her period. Hasn't started yet, but she is gearing up. I have several questions:

1) Has anyone noticed hormonal changes in their pubescent daughters causing behavior to improve? (I think I know the answer, but just fishing for hope!)

2) She has been obsessed with actually getting her period. She feels like she "outside" of the "club" that her friends are in. (Sounds like a tween novel, doesn't it?) She has painted pads, trying to convince me she has gotten it. (I have to admit, that pinkish red nail polish isn't convincing.) Is this an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) thing, or a normal tween thing?

3) Her psychiatrist wants to put her on birth control pills eventually. I have no moral objection to BCP for hormonal regulation, or as a means of pregnancy prevention for married couples (don't judge me please, it is my religious conviction), but I'm worried that she will see this as consent to be sexually active. (She is extremely strong willed, and defiant. I am clear with the family rules, but she just flat out disregards them.) She is only 11, and highly interested in this topic. I always answer her questions very plainly and without judgement. I'm not sexually repressed, but even the most liberal parent would not want their 11 year old sexually involved, I'm sure. Her psychiatrist is just worried about this heightened interest, and often sees this trait in her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) female patients.

4) Anything else I should know?

Wiped Out

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Sorry I don't have the answers you want; my daughter's behavior through puberty definitely was not good. She never tried to convince us she had her period-don't know if that is normal or not but I wouldn't be surprised to find it's not uncommon. We did have our daughter go on bc pills for mood regulation. It definitely helped some.


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Does she need to know they are bC pills? They don't say it anywhere on the label from the pharmacy.

Just saying you can call them hormone pills until she is older.


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She is defiant, she will likely not ask your permission to start her sex life. I wouldn't be too worried about bc pills giving her 'a permission.' In fact, given the mood issues I would likely have her started before she herself feels ready for sex and would tell her they are for modifying her hormone induced mood disregulation. That way it would be even less a permission to start sex life.

Because let's face it. No one wants their young daughter to have sex in their early teens nevertheless in their tweens (ethic or moral disagreements come to play only when we are talking mid and older teens.) But quite a many troubled kids start their sex life earlier than they are able to be responsible and even less able to be a parent. Being a teen mom is not something anyone would want to their kid with issues. And considering you simply can't keep them from having sex when they decide they want it, having them on birth control tends to be a best choice.

hormonal birth control of course has it's side effects and issues, but if her doctor considers those lesser evils, I would try not to think it as a moral question but just trying to even some hormonal mood swings that are bound to come a bit.


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You can't stop a teen girl, especially one who wants to fit in with her peers, from sex or even pregnancy because if she wants to get pregnant, she won't take her pills and she won't tell you she quit. It is unrealistic to expect anyone nowadays not to have sex before marriage, but that's not the real issue here.

I can't take the Pill and I have a mood disorder. Not only does it make me physically sick, but makes my mood disorder ten times worse. Also, my daughter Princess had a shot and was very emotional, sensitive and not herself for quite a while so she never took it again. What is the purpose of the bc pill? What is the doctors reason for putting her on it? That is in my opinion more important to think about.

Also, neither of my particular two daughters was at all eager to get her period or pretended to have it. In fact, neither told me when they got it. I don't know if means anything, good or bad, that your daughter is so eager to have it that she has pretended she does. What does her psychiatrist tell you about this?


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4) Anything else I should know?
Nothing that you'd WANT to know...

Girls and puberty are a bad thing to start with.
Aspie, plus Bi-polar, plus Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?
Any one of those three dxes makes girl + puberty touchy.

Sending you a private message


I have friends whose daughters thought they were "missing something" until they actually started that is. Whatever you choose to call the BCP...I would get her started on them and depending on your daughter...I would make sure she has condoms readily available. I definately don't aprove either but I do firmly believe that they should be protected. At some point you need to have a talk about why protection is so important . Never assume they already know.


Roll With It
Are you aware that hypersexuality is part of bipolar? It is a symptom, and each person with bipolar doesn't have it to the same degree (and some don't have it at all, but that does NOT sound like your daughter), but it is part of her illness.

To the best of my knowledge, hypersexuality makes you really focus on sex and can make you act out sexually at a very early age, much earlier than most of your peers. One young lady I know said it is like the urge to go to the bathroom, but for sex. It is there an gets worse and worse until you give in to it, and then after a while it startss again. That urge can get very strong, and be VERY hard to ignore (imagine trying to ignore having to use the bathroom for days, weeks, months or even years depending on your age and your family's religious beliefs. Of course it isn't like that for all people with bipolar. This is just one young lady's attempt to try to explain it to me. She said her urges started very early and she was blessed (her word) to have grandparents who raised her and kept her safe and protected from herself to the best of her ability.

I think you need to weigh your beliefs about the pill and premarital sex against your desire for a grandchild out of your preteen/young teen daughter. Of course you cannot stop her from sex or even a child if she is determined, but you CAN try to take reasonable precautions with her. Given what a pregnancy at her age will do to her developing body, I would opt for the pill to at least attempt to prevent it.

If you have not read "The Bipolar Child" by Papalos, I highly recommend it. It explained the disorder in ways that were understandable and clear. It also had clear guidelines for many things. One thing it strongly recommended was following the medication protocol approved by the Board that certifies psychiatrists. The book explains the protocol and the reason behind the steps. I would strongly urge that you read the book and let it help you however it can.