Putting difficult child's in same room?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DS3, Jan 14, 2012.

  1. DS3

    DS3 New Member

    So me and hubby were thinking about putting the boys in the same room with either twin beds, or bunk beds. Then making the second room into a play room. But we don't know if it's a good idea since difficult child 1 seems to resent his younger brother. Yet difficult child 2 adores his older brother and hates to sleep in a room by himself. Seems more like a catch 22 to me... ~sigh~ Ideas? Thoughts?

    Also, we're having a problem with difficult child 1 adjusting to being back home. He misses his grandma, and that's all he wants. He even offered for her to come with us on the airplane before we left. He's doing well in school, but he's more defiant here at the house, and he doesn't want to work with his therapist at school. Ideas? Comments? I did try to get him to webcam with grandma the other day, and he refused. Course I'm tired today and not thinking all that well, and well... second opinions always help. :)
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How long was he with Grandma? I probably should recuse myself from this post because I basically took care of my 5 year old granddaughter and she lived with us for weeks at a time, then every other weekend, I saw her every monday...we were as tight as tight could be so this is a hard subject for me. My granddaughters mom took her to MO the beginning of the school year and we only saw her for a week at Xmas and my granddaughter begged us to not make her go back. She wanted to stay here. She would rather live with her Daddy and new sister than with her mommy. Its so sad.

    So anyway...back to you and your son. Im sure he misses grandma. No matter how long he was with her they had a bond from the way he is behaving. The two of them need to keep it up. My granddaughter took a bit to get into the skype but then her mom wont even do it with us anymore. We did it about 3 times and then she just quit. I would continue attempting to do that. Just you skype with grandma and eventually he will come around. Ask grandma to send goodie boxes with just little things for the boys. She can video herself reading to them and send them the dvd. She can bake cookies if she is into that sort of thing. Whatever she did with him, she can send him. Make sure they talk on the phone even if all he says is a few words. In the beginning all I got was "yeah, school is good, I love you." And that was with her having a phone I bought her! She still isnt much for talking on the phone. Sometimes I can get her to talk on the phone for 20 or so minutes but not often.

    About the room. I had boys 2 years apart and both difficult child's. I would put them together. Mine were in bunks but at 2 and 4 I would do twins if you have the room unless the 4 year old really wants a bunk. They have those adorable beds with tent like things on top that look like camo which would probably make your boys really excited. Now once they get older you may want to separate again but who knows. Cory and Jamie lived together their entire lives. They are very close.
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I found it was alot easier to have the kids in separate bedrooms with a twin bed for each in their room and the other side of the room used as play areas where they could either play together or alone depending on how moods were at the time. My children were two years apart in age, too. For us being in a shared room caused "spill over" emotions that weren't worth it. Each family is different. Hugs DDD
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    We don't have a choice in our house. The boys share a room with 1 full bed (difficult child 2 needs it) and 1 twin. I get REALLY lucky in that there are NO toys in their room and they have never had to be sent to their room at the same time. They also know that when one has been sent to their room, the other one HAS TO STAY AWAY. It is a rule. That is the only time their room is off limits. It has worked well for us so far.....not that we have a choice......and not that they haven't complained about wanting their own rooms......which they can do as soon as one of them builds a new room onto our house (and pays for it).
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Depending on how big the room is, sometimes its possible to split it into two mini-rooms... one twin bed, night table and lamp on each side, shared closet and dresser. Wouldn't do bunk beds - can really throw sleep off if you're not a heavy sleeper... and you won't know until its already a problem.
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2012
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    We tried that when our difficult child's were about the same age. In hindsight, it was a bad idea. Bedtimes became an insufferable ordeal for me because difficult child 2 would not stop talking at night and difficult child 1 got very irritated with him, plus when they were getting ready for bed it took them for. eh. ver. to get dressed, brush teeth, etc. because they distracted each other. We ended up separating them after about two years or so in the same room, and it made for much more peaceful evenings for everyone. (Thankfully, during that time we added onto our house, so we had the extra space to do it).