Hi all. Thank you for offering this site to parents like me. I have a son who was diagnosed with ODD at around 12, and ADHD at around 5. When he was a child, my husband was abusive to me, and as he got older, I started to fight back, finally leaving him when he was 9. Husband went to a phychiatrist and worked on his anger issues and we got back together. My son saw all the abusive situations we went through as parents, and there is nothing I can do to take anything back. He is now 18, and we have gone through the gamut of medications that were out there for him. He told me recently that he wants nothing to do with prescription drugs anymore, because for most of his life he was high, and chunks of it are a blur. I don't blame him. He is not wanting to really grow up at this point, and we are fine with the pace he is taking. He is at home, is going to an alternative school, and working at his own pace, which we do not necesarrily think is quick enough, but at least he is committed to going when before he was not. He is helping with household chores, and we are not really having any problems with him at this point. He wants to stay at home as long as he can and even though his friends are out working and living on their own, he is not interested at this time in changing much of anything. What I have learned about having him as a son is, anytime we pushed him to do something in a authoratative manner, we were always met with resistance. When we looked past what he was doing to who he is, the results were much more cooperative and balanced. The problem right now is that he is not really doing anything to move forward with his life at all. He had a girlfriend and she dumped him becasue of his disrespectful treatment of her. he is still trying to get together with her and talks to her on the phone all the time. He stays in his room, his friends have all abandoned him, and he is not looking for a job or going to school. If I bring up any of this, he says he knows what he's doing and he's an adult and he will figure it out. He seems to have run out of fight or motiviation. Also when he was 15, we found out he was using weed to self medicate. He had been so violent on the medications, that we took him off them, and allowed him to use weed as his medication once a day. His violence has lessened and he is much more compliant. The problem is, he has been taught to be dependent on something, be it, prescription drugs or other, and I do not know how to talk to him about this so he will understand what I am seeing. He just tells me he's fine, and etc. etc. I believe the medical system teaches our children to depend on them, and then when they are adults, to depend on them some more. Yes we gave him natural weed as an alternative, but the dependence was there long before we made this decision. I am wondering if there are other people out there who have seen this dependence and did anyone do anything about it? Thank You So much...