I have spent sooo much time trying to change my older difficult child, I have used control and manipulation to try to change him into what I think he should be. But really, what do I know? He has always been on his own path and had his own ideas no matter what I think about it. This power struggle we have only angers and frustrates the both of us and it feels like we both lose. I think I’m ready to wave the white flag, to surrender and just love him for who he is where he is at. I can still hold my boundaries in a way that respects his autonomy. I have to let go of my ego and admit that I don’t have all the answers for living everyone else’s life. He has always had his own way of doing things and it isn’t always pretty but I have to respect him for trying instead of just doing everything I tell him he should do. Some kids just need the universe to kick them around a little before they decide who they are.