SuZir
Well-Known Member
There is no way come off with this other than sounding bratty and unpleasant, so be it. But my husband's granny's funeral arrangements are really hoovering big time.
First, she died at Spain and wanted to be buried at home, next to her husband. Getting her corpse home is frustrating, and costly, to say the least. I have been helping father in law with all the bureaucracy and that. Not fun! And apparently had she died in any other Mediterranean country, which she lived during past decades, the cost would had been half. Some reason getting a body out from Spain is much more costly than from elsewhere, we are looking for well over ten grands just for that. Of course I shouldn't complain about that (and it can be considered extremely entitled and bratty), because she certainly left enough property to cover her funeral costs and then some.
Second, she had some quite exact wishes for her funeral. Again, we certainly will do as she wanted, but I have notice some of her wishes are quite a lot work for me. And I have been wearing thin as it is, with going back to school and having difficulties to adapt (while I knew it would be difficult first, I'm in totally new position in my life, where I'm not able to learn with the best of them. I'm feeling miserably dumb, which is something I'm not used to and wouldn't have wanted to be acquainted with. I mean, I have many faults, but being academically challenged has never been one of them), There are some minor issues at work and my most important mean for stress handling is currently gone. I can't run. Minor injury, not worth whining in itself, but I haven't been able to run for a month, have to give it rest at least another. It is all building up.
Her funeral will be traditional. Which means bunch of it will be held in my house. After all we live in old family home. This is a house her husband took her as a young bride, this is a house she raised her children. She left after her husband died to pass it to father in law, who again build a new house nearby after husband and I married and started to have kids. And they will be a big event. She had a big issue to begin with and, in traditional way, they will be open invitation. While she left this area long ago and all her friends are long gone, it will be lots and lots of people. Just a off spring for brunch before the funeral after which we will do a procession to grave yard will be well over 100 people. And after funeral all those people and all the other guests will be back for memorial and to eat (we are preparing up to 250 to be safe.) Others will do most of the baking and for the funeral day we will have help. But cleaning is all on me, it is my house after all, and there will also be lots of small stuff to do days before. Luckily I will be able to take few days off the work beforehand.
Then there is her SO. husband's granny was always very clear she would be buried next to her husband, said she made the choice long ago to live her life with that man and be buried next to him (I always suspected there is a story in this, one that we will likely never find out now after she is dead.) Her SO of course knew that and it isn't an issue to him (at least it seems like that.) But they spent years together and it would be really rude to make him feel like an outsider. But he doesn't speak the language, he doesn't know any of us that well etc. Anyhow asking him to stay at a hotel would be rude and unwelcoming. So he and one of his kids who will accompany him, will be our house guests for several days, and of course during those busy days before the funeral. We having them in our house makes again most sense, this is a family home, it certainly has enough room, and other option, that would had been father in law and mother in law would be catastrophe considering my mother in law and her thinking of Granny's SO as gold digging boytoy. So nope, that is not an option. father in law's other siblings live little farther away or have smaller houses or it could be awkward or something. So here they will stay. I can't say any of us would know SO well. I have met him only handful of times. He is pleasant, but still practically a stranger to us. So I'm stuch with entertaining person I don't know at all and who is mourning for his SO of a almost a decade.
So woe me and all the other self pity.
First, she died at Spain and wanted to be buried at home, next to her husband. Getting her corpse home is frustrating, and costly, to say the least. I have been helping father in law with all the bureaucracy and that. Not fun! And apparently had she died in any other Mediterranean country, which she lived during past decades, the cost would had been half. Some reason getting a body out from Spain is much more costly than from elsewhere, we are looking for well over ten grands just for that. Of course I shouldn't complain about that (and it can be considered extremely entitled and bratty), because she certainly left enough property to cover her funeral costs and then some.
Second, she had some quite exact wishes for her funeral. Again, we certainly will do as she wanted, but I have notice some of her wishes are quite a lot work for me. And I have been wearing thin as it is, with going back to school and having difficulties to adapt (while I knew it would be difficult first, I'm in totally new position in my life, where I'm not able to learn with the best of them. I'm feeling miserably dumb, which is something I'm not used to and wouldn't have wanted to be acquainted with. I mean, I have many faults, but being academically challenged has never been one of them), There are some minor issues at work and my most important mean for stress handling is currently gone. I can't run. Minor injury, not worth whining in itself, but I haven't been able to run for a month, have to give it rest at least another. It is all building up.
Her funeral will be traditional. Which means bunch of it will be held in my house. After all we live in old family home. This is a house her husband took her as a young bride, this is a house she raised her children. She left after her husband died to pass it to father in law, who again build a new house nearby after husband and I married and started to have kids. And they will be a big event. She had a big issue to begin with and, in traditional way, they will be open invitation. While she left this area long ago and all her friends are long gone, it will be lots and lots of people. Just a off spring for brunch before the funeral after which we will do a procession to grave yard will be well over 100 people. And after funeral all those people and all the other guests will be back for memorial and to eat (we are preparing up to 250 to be safe.) Others will do most of the baking and for the funeral day we will have help. But cleaning is all on me, it is my house after all, and there will also be lots of small stuff to do days before. Luckily I will be able to take few days off the work beforehand.
Then there is her SO. husband's granny was always very clear she would be buried next to her husband, said she made the choice long ago to live her life with that man and be buried next to him (I always suspected there is a story in this, one that we will likely never find out now after she is dead.) Her SO of course knew that and it isn't an issue to him (at least it seems like that.) But they spent years together and it would be really rude to make him feel like an outsider. But he doesn't speak the language, he doesn't know any of us that well etc. Anyhow asking him to stay at a hotel would be rude and unwelcoming. So he and one of his kids who will accompany him, will be our house guests for several days, and of course during those busy days before the funeral. We having them in our house makes again most sense, this is a family home, it certainly has enough room, and other option, that would had been father in law and mother in law would be catastrophe considering my mother in law and her thinking of Granny's SO as gold digging boytoy. So nope, that is not an option. father in law's other siblings live little farther away or have smaller houses or it could be awkward or something. So here they will stay. I can't say any of us would know SO well. I have met him only handful of times. He is pleasant, but still practically a stranger to us. So I'm stuch with entertaining person I don't know at all and who is mourning for his SO of a almost a decade.
So woe me and all the other self pity.
