I just want to say that I have the uttmost respect for those of you who parent an ODD child. I had two encounters with ODD boys today that gave me a whole new surge of respect for those of you who are contending with this day in and day out.
I watched a mother with great admiration at the pediatric dentist's office this morning. The nurse called her ~6 year old difficult child. He screamed, thrashed, threw magazines, cursed, raged. The mom had an interesting technique. She started to walk towards the nurse and said very calmly: "Okay, Max, you wait for your turn". The nurse started to say: "Come on Max" and the mother stopped her. "Please", she said firmly to the nurse, "He has ODD and if you call him he will react very strongly". The mother kept walking towards the exam room saying: "Just wait for your turn then Max" over his screaming protests. Finally he started to shout: "I want my turn!" and followed his very patient mother. I was impressed.
The second encounter happened this evening at the playground at our swim club. I was with Miles-- there was another little boy ~4 who was on his own playing near him. I often see this boy playing on his own while his nanny / parents is (are) by the pool. The little boy was trying to do the monkey bars-- he slipped and fell. Hurt and on the ground, he instantly started to cry. I went to him (as any nurturing mom would) and said: "Come sweetie, let me help you up and let's find your grown up". As I got next to him, he stood up and punched me in the face. Hard. The boy ran off.
Seb is very challenging and concerning but I do not have to contend with these challenges. His brand of oppositional behavior is in the constant verbal sparring, the rhetoric-- it is never physical and that is such a dramatic distinction. I really feel so much for those of you who are dealing with the ODD on top of the already demanding comorbid conditions.
That's all I wanted to say. I saw these two boys today and my heart went out to all of you.
I watched a mother with great admiration at the pediatric dentist's office this morning. The nurse called her ~6 year old difficult child. He screamed, thrashed, threw magazines, cursed, raged. The mom had an interesting technique. She started to walk towards the nurse and said very calmly: "Okay, Max, you wait for your turn". The nurse started to say: "Come on Max" and the mother stopped her. "Please", she said firmly to the nurse, "He has ODD and if you call him he will react very strongly". The mother kept walking towards the exam room saying: "Just wait for your turn then Max" over his screaming protests. Finally he started to shout: "I want my turn!" and followed his very patient mother. I was impressed.
The second encounter happened this evening at the playground at our swim club. I was with Miles-- there was another little boy ~4 who was on his own playing near him. I often see this boy playing on his own while his nanny / parents is (are) by the pool. The little boy was trying to do the monkey bars-- he slipped and fell. Hurt and on the ground, he instantly started to cry. I went to him (as any nurturing mom would) and said: "Come sweetie, let me help you up and let's find your grown up". As I got next to him, he stood up and punched me in the face. Hard. The boy ran off.
Seb is very challenging and concerning but I do not have to contend with these challenges. His brand of oppositional behavior is in the constant verbal sparring, the rhetoric-- it is never physical and that is such a dramatic distinction. I really feel so much for those of you who are dealing with the ODD on top of the already demanding comorbid conditions.
That's all I wanted to say. I saw these two boys today and my heart went out to all of you.