School and defiant teen daughter

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Steve Rookey, Apr 6, 2011.

  1. Steve Rookey

    Steve Rookey New Member

    An educational consultant suggested * School for our daughter. My husband and I are struggling with her. The educational consultant told us, "If you don't get help now, your daughter will be dead in two years."


    She has been having troubles at school and being disrespectul towards teachers. Our daughter has been suspended two times, for reading pornograhic material. We have caught her smoking pot. In addition, she was recently arrested for destruction of property. She threw rocks through a vehicle window.
    Lasted edited by : Apr 6, 2011
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Welcome!! You have come to a good place to find info and support to help your child and family. I am glad to meet you, but sorry you had to seek us out, Know what I mean??

    First though, if your username is your real name you should contact runawaybunny (site owner) to change it. We discuss a LOT of sensitive info here and it isn't always something you want anyone who googles your name to come up with - esp if it is info that is sensitive to members of your family, like your daughter. If you want info about specific facilities or to share other personal info like pictures, etc... you can use the private messages.

    It sounds like there is a lot going on with your daughter. We are going to need more info before we can give more specific info/help. Share as you are comfortable sharing. It is great to have another Dad here. There are some others and many of us find that sharing posts here is a good way to help communication with our spouses.

    How old is your daughter? Is she your biological, step or adopted daughter? What was her early development like? How does she do in school? What doctors have you seen and what diagnosis/medications/treatments have they prescribed/suggested? Are there any types of mental illness and/or developmental issues and/or substance abuse issues does she have?

    The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is a great book to help with our kids. The parenting style will seem counterintuitive but it works far better than more traditional methods with difficult children. I also STRONGLY encourage reading Parenting Your Teen With Love and Logic by Fay and Cline. L&L uses natural and logical consequences while strengthening the loving bond between parent and child. You can get either book in the bookstore, but Love and Logic books/info are also available on the L&L website - . It has descriptions of all of their books and also offers many on audiobook. the site has a lot of info, even on the areas designed for teachers.

    There is a TON of info that we each get regarding our kids. The link in my signature will take you to a Parent Report outline that wise moms here created years ago. It will help get ALL the info about your child into one place in a format that will help you communicate with the varous "experts who will be helping you. It even has places for your hopes and dreams for her, etc.... It is long and you will have best results if you work on it in chunks rather than all at once.

    The last bit of info is that you will encounter a LOT of experts as you seek to find the help your family needs. These people are all likely to feel they know best because they have learned and studied and seen a lot. But they are experts in a field of study - not in your child. YOU are the expert in your child. You have instincts and gut reactions about what is right for your child for a reason. I can promise that the biggest worst mistakes I made with my difficult child were ALL times that I ignored my instincts. Many ohters here feel the same.

    Once again, Welcome!
  3. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    An educational consultant told me I had "given up on my son" when I refused to have him abducted and flown to an out of state program.

    How does this individual know that your daughter's days are numbered????
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Can you please tell us more about your daughter? What we have is so limited that it's hard to help. Why does this educational consultant feel she will be dead in two years? You say you caught her smoking pot...if so, it is likely she could be using more drugs. Did she always have problems?

    Welcome to the board.