School Help Needed for difficult child 2 PLEASE!!!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DancerMom, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. DancerMom

    DancerMom New Member

    Short and to the point....

    difficult child 2 is in 4th Grade, we moved, changed schools twice. In 2nd new school since February 15th. Has old teacher, teaching 30+ years. Never married, no children. difficult child 2 in honors challenge program. Straight As until this class. Suddenly cannot write correctly, letters not formed right, numbers not on lines correctly, using spacing wrong, etc. for this teacher. difficult child 2 is now having headaches after school, crying, won't eat, vomiting and diarrhea. Every morning gets up dreading school. Tonight had total meltdown. Crawled in closed and cried and cried.

    Visited teacher, visited counselor. Was told excellent teacher, strict and difficult child just needs to "adjust' to her. :nonono: I want him moved from that class to another teacher. Principal only one that can do it. Says must have doctor's note that states it is affecting him.

    Alright warriors....HELP ME!!!!! I don't know what to do with the school system and where to start. I am debating letting him go to school tomorrow just because he is so upset.

    Thanks and hope I made sense...

  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    Sounds like school phobia and anxiety to my untrained mind.
  3. DancerMom

    DancerMom New Member

    thanks TM am going to look at that now
  4. 3sacharm

    3sacharm New Member

    My easy child has had very similar issues,supposed "great teacher" but they did not click. he went from a kid who did very well to a stressed out kid with headaches, stomache aches and whose class work went down. I got him out o the class and things improved immediately. Get the note from your difficult child's doctor and move forward. If this is a new phenomonon for your difficult child I would attribute it to the teacher rather than an anxiety disorder. If it continues with a new teacher perhaps there is more to it, but the wrong teacher can reaaly mess up a kid.
  5. kris

    kris New Member

    doesn't sound like school phobia to me...more of a personality clash. it happens even with-the most compliant of students. may be that the principal is right & he needs to take the time to adjust to her style. it's important that kids learn how to work with-people they don't particularly like. i wouldn't be so quick to jump to rescue mode. it's been less than a month since he's been in her classroom.

  6. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Been there! When we moved to this town 17 years ago my easy child was in second grade. School started the Wednesday prior to labor day. Due to work transfer we were not able to get him started until the day after labor day. He went from a happy, straight A student to being scared, dreading school (new school, new town). I went to the principal he just said "adjusting time". I let the first quarter go by, things go worse. Another Parent came up to me and said, she likes the teacher, good for her son, however she has witness the unfair behavior towards my son.
    I again went to the principal. He set up a meeting with us and the teacher. No good there. Then I spoke to my sister in law. (lives out of state) She is a Special Education teacher. (easy child not in spec. ed) She gave me this advice:
    Go to the principal and you TELL him/her that you want your child OUT of that class by such and such date (GIVE them a date) or else you will need to take it up with the superintendent.
    Two days later principal called stating ther IS a student/teacher conflict, and he will be moving to another class the following day.
    since that experience I have always requested the teacher I wanted at third quarter conference. (elementary school). I would speak to other parents, other kids, speak to the teachers. There ARE some Excellent teachers out there, and there definately ARE student/teacher conflicts. I let it go to long. I was thinking it was because a new town. A teacher can mess things up in a very short time. Try another teacher quickly.
  7. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Just to add a little more. I believed, witnessed the behavior with my son and teacher. After I had him transferred to another class there were many times in the next 10 years that he said "I don't like this teacher can you move me to so and so's room".
    NO. If there is a problem I will investigate. There are times when you don't get along. If I liked the teacher, I saw no problem, he had to learn to deal with it.
  8. DancerMom

    DancerMom New Member

    Thanks guys and Hi Kris..Has been awhile.

    Well I did not get to sleep until 4 a.m. He was up until 3 a.m. with migraine and diarrhea. I really think that this is more than just adjusting to the new teacher's style. I spoke with two neighbors today and they say that she has always been a problem; however, the principal is an older lady and likes the teacher's "style" ahem

    I took difficult child to the dr today and had a thorough check up done. Dr. pitched a fit when she found out what was going on with him and wanted the school's # while we were there. She informed them there was obvious signs of school-related anxiety and that it was above the norm. difficult child cried to dr today and told her that he was just so afraid hed couldn't do things the correct way. Dr. demanded he be switched to another class.

    Earlier today the principal called me ( never scheduled the one-on-one meeting I wanted) and listened to me. I reminded of the the dr's call. I told her that I wanted him moved. She was appalled at the idea that this teacher was causing any undue stress on students. Said she would look into it and to give her a day. difficult child goes to school tomorrow and to the same teacher. Saving grace is that they have a field trip on Thursday and hopes that she lets them enjoy it.

    difficult child told dr. today that she (teacher) would go by and slap desks with ruler if you were not on task. Scares the bejeezus outta him. I didn't even know that.

    This is a kid that could get along with the devil himself.

    Am going to use your advice KJS, gonna give her a date, in writing to move him or it's up the ladder I go!

  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I don't envy you. It is hard to travel the road of Warrior Mom
    when you're opponent is the school system. Many of us have been there done that
    and it "ain't" fun.

    on the other hand, your childs future depends of maintaining the positives
    that have already been developed. You just can't let this teacher or this school destroy that.

    You must maintain your decorum and be prepared to have "them"
    gang up on you. It can be very adversarial but "never let them
    see you sweat" "or cry" "or rant". You can do it.

    Go over to the education forum for more support. DDD
  10. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I have walked in your shoes and had to go over the principals head. My son had been to the support every day for 10 weeks sent by his reading teacher who was a first year teacher. She had no control over her class and the noise level and activity level was unbearable for my then third grade difficult child. His math teacher had already transfered him into a closed class because she saw that he could not function in a copen classroom and he was doing well in that new placement. The new Math teacher wanted difficult child in her for all subjects but his language/reading/homeroom teacher would not let him go. She didn't want to admit that she could not teach my son. I went to the principal who said that "It had only been ten weeks" I told her that if it were her son she would not be saying that. I then said that if she was not going to move difficult child perhaps I could observe the current teacher's class to see what actually was the situation and offer suggestions. (difficult child's Special Education teacher had already told meit was a horrible placement for him) The Principal got very nasty told me I was not allowed to observe the class. I asked her why since the school had an "open" policy of parent and grandparent visitation for the purpose of observation. She said that parents could not "pick and choose" our teachers. She then said that I was banned from her school and if i came on the property she would call the police on me. She then hung up on me. Fortunately I had my husband listening on the extention. He was flabbergasted and appaulled at what she had done. He could not believe that she had screamed at me when I had been so respectful. He could not believe she had hung up on a parent who was doing nothing wrong and trying to help her son. (by the way, This is the same principal who insisted I put my son on ritilin which I had already done).

    I told husband not to worry that the principal didn't know who she had threatened and who she had hung up on. I had already logged in 17 years with DSS and Medicaid and various other buracracies from being a foster parent /advocate. I then called the Superintendant's office and was assigned a moderator. We went into arbitration and I got my son moved. Intretingly the entire IEP committee was called in to the meeting and all the Special Education teachers speech teachers and pscologist sat on my side of the table with me while the principal and the reading teacher sat alone on the other side. After the meeting the school psycologist told me that this principal had the habit of speaking to the staff in the same manner as she had spoken to me and that there were several complaints filed against her. She then thanked me for going to the school board. I would have gone even higher if I had to but since the principal did some other things deep doo-doo I think she was very willing to make the easier ones like mine go away. A task force was called into the school the next week and five investigators were there for two weeks. The principal ended up being transferred over to central office (lateral move) until they felt she was once again ready for a school of her own. Five years later she was given another chance and I am told she did well. -RM