Shari
IsItFridayYet?
Was suggested I post this here, as well. It is already in General.
My wee difficult child attends a Montessori school. Whle they don't have a formal IEP, all but one (possibly two) teachers/aides there work incredibally well with him.
We had an incident last week with the one teacher we routinely have trouble with. It escalated to difficult child having to be restrained and I found out she didn't allow the classroom aide, who works well with difficult child, to intervene and de-escalate.
So this is what I posted last night.
I finally was able to meet with the school director today after the incident last week where the aide was prevented from intervening with wee difficult child. (I kept him out of school last week while his regular teacher was gone - she is back this week so he's been back in school this week.)
We had a good visit. I am not the only parent to complain about this teacher. According to the director, she's been warned and further action will likely be taken in the near future. The director will be talking to her again, tho, based on this incident. The aide involved was very upset and had already spoken to the director, also.
I talked with husband tonight, and we have decided to wait it out. We will focus on finding out what days difficult child's regular teacher will be gone and keeping him out of school those days. Not the best plan, but its what we've got. Most of the other teachers and aids there are really good with him.
Anyway, befiore the meeting, I was watching wee difficult child play on the playground thru the classroom window. Its rare to be able to observe unseen.
I saw wee difficult child coming across the playground, holding his right arm out, palm up. His shirt sleeve was pushed up and he was crying. I couldn't hear them unless someone screamed, but obviously he was hurt. I just watched to see how it would play out.
He went to an aide. This aide happens to be the problem teacher's daughter. He held his arm out to her and they had some sort of conversation. He was crying. I could see her mouth to him that "playing rough gets you hurt". She was visibly irritated with difficult child. This aide then grabbed difficult child by the arm in question and lead him by it to another aide sitting about 5 feet away. I thought to myself "gee, hope its not broke", but it wasn't too upsetting. The second aide looked at his arm. difficult child continued to cry. The two aides talked, then the first aide lead him back to a table and sat him down. I wasn't sure if he was in trouble or sitting out because he was hurt. The first aide then went across the playground and got another little boy. They talked, she brought him back, and sat him at the other end of the table. I figured difficult child was in time out for his part of the problem. No big deal. Didn't like the arm grabbing, but it wasn't that big of a deal. I looked at my watch. It was 3:22.
At 3:24 the aide that had tried to intervene last week came out the door and difficult child called to her. She started to him and he stood up. I heard the first aide yell at her to stay away from him and at difficult child to sit back down. I could hear it thru the closed windows.
I watched a few minutes more and then spoke to the director right by the window I'd just been looking out of. You couldn't hear much unless it was pretty loud, but neither of us heard a thing, and I still wasn't terrible shocked at what I'd seen, so I wasn't really watching outside.
When the director and I finished, I went straight out to the playground. The other kid in time out was long gone, but difficult child was still sitting at the table. He had his head down, laying there quietly. When I called to him, he came to me and started crying quietly. He said he was sorry he was a bad boy. I asked him what was going on, he said he was in time out. I asked if it was the first one and he said yes. Then he said he'd gotten bitten by the other boy.
I looked at my watch. It was 3:50. His eyes were not red and puffy, his cheeks weren't red. He'd obviously stopped crying at least several minutes before I came out. We hadn't heard him screaming thru the window - yet he was still in time out.
I was hot. Again.
At this point, the first aide jumped in and started explaining how difficult child said he got bit but he didn't, and how he was still in time out because he had been screaming and getting up and carrying on unnecessarily so he had to be in time out longer.
I just looked at her and said "I was here and looking out that (pointing up) window when you put him in time out at 3:20. Thirty minutes is too long for any kid this age, particularly this one." She tried to speak to me more but I turned and left with difficult child.
Then I took difficult child to his BT appointment. We were running late because of all this, so I didn't talk to her before the appointment. When she brought difficult child out after, she asked if I was aware he'd been bitten at school. I explained that they said he wasn't. She then held out his arm and showed me, very clearly, where a bite mark was visible. She just wanted to be sure I alerted school as biting is a dangerous habit in kids this age.
I will be meeting with the director again. Tomorrow if at all possible. I'm going to ask the helpful aide if difficult child truly fought the time out while I wasn't looking, but I already know the answer. And then I think I will be telling the first aide that if she feels difficult child needs disciplined, she needs to get another aide or teacher to do it. If she can't be more objective and fair than this, she needs to turn the reins over to someone who can. This isn't helping difficult child at all.
Its too bad one (or possibly two) bad apples can so seriously spoil the whole basket.
My wee difficult child attends a Montessori school. Whle they don't have a formal IEP, all but one (possibly two) teachers/aides there work incredibally well with him.
We had an incident last week with the one teacher we routinely have trouble with. It escalated to difficult child having to be restrained and I found out she didn't allow the classroom aide, who works well with difficult child, to intervene and de-escalate.
So this is what I posted last night.
I finally was able to meet with the school director today after the incident last week where the aide was prevented from intervening with wee difficult child. (I kept him out of school last week while his regular teacher was gone - she is back this week so he's been back in school this week.)
We had a good visit. I am not the only parent to complain about this teacher. According to the director, she's been warned and further action will likely be taken in the near future. The director will be talking to her again, tho, based on this incident. The aide involved was very upset and had already spoken to the director, also.
I talked with husband tonight, and we have decided to wait it out. We will focus on finding out what days difficult child's regular teacher will be gone and keeping him out of school those days. Not the best plan, but its what we've got. Most of the other teachers and aids there are really good with him.
Anyway, befiore the meeting, I was watching wee difficult child play on the playground thru the classroom window. Its rare to be able to observe unseen.
I saw wee difficult child coming across the playground, holding his right arm out, palm up. His shirt sleeve was pushed up and he was crying. I couldn't hear them unless someone screamed, but obviously he was hurt. I just watched to see how it would play out.
He went to an aide. This aide happens to be the problem teacher's daughter. He held his arm out to her and they had some sort of conversation. He was crying. I could see her mouth to him that "playing rough gets you hurt". She was visibly irritated with difficult child. This aide then grabbed difficult child by the arm in question and lead him by it to another aide sitting about 5 feet away. I thought to myself "gee, hope its not broke", but it wasn't too upsetting. The second aide looked at his arm. difficult child continued to cry. The two aides talked, then the first aide lead him back to a table and sat him down. I wasn't sure if he was in trouble or sitting out because he was hurt. The first aide then went across the playground and got another little boy. They talked, she brought him back, and sat him at the other end of the table. I figured difficult child was in time out for his part of the problem. No big deal. Didn't like the arm grabbing, but it wasn't that big of a deal. I looked at my watch. It was 3:22.
At 3:24 the aide that had tried to intervene last week came out the door and difficult child called to her. She started to him and he stood up. I heard the first aide yell at her to stay away from him and at difficult child to sit back down. I could hear it thru the closed windows.
I watched a few minutes more and then spoke to the director right by the window I'd just been looking out of. You couldn't hear much unless it was pretty loud, but neither of us heard a thing, and I still wasn't terrible shocked at what I'd seen, so I wasn't really watching outside.
When the director and I finished, I went straight out to the playground. The other kid in time out was long gone, but difficult child was still sitting at the table. He had his head down, laying there quietly. When I called to him, he came to me and started crying quietly. He said he was sorry he was a bad boy. I asked him what was going on, he said he was in time out. I asked if it was the first one and he said yes. Then he said he'd gotten bitten by the other boy.
I looked at my watch. It was 3:50. His eyes were not red and puffy, his cheeks weren't red. He'd obviously stopped crying at least several minutes before I came out. We hadn't heard him screaming thru the window - yet he was still in time out.
I was hot. Again.
At this point, the first aide jumped in and started explaining how difficult child said he got bit but he didn't, and how he was still in time out because he had been screaming and getting up and carrying on unnecessarily so he had to be in time out longer.
I just looked at her and said "I was here and looking out that (pointing up) window when you put him in time out at 3:20. Thirty minutes is too long for any kid this age, particularly this one." She tried to speak to me more but I turned and left with difficult child.
Then I took difficult child to his BT appointment. We were running late because of all this, so I didn't talk to her before the appointment. When she brought difficult child out after, she asked if I was aware he'd been bitten at school. I explained that they said he wasn't. She then held out his arm and showed me, very clearly, where a bite mark was visible. She just wanted to be sure I alerted school as biting is a dangerous habit in kids this age.
I will be meeting with the director again. Tomorrow if at all possible. I'm going to ask the helpful aide if difficult child truly fought the time out while I wasn't looking, but I already know the answer. And then I think I will be telling the first aide that if she feels difficult child needs disciplined, she needs to get another aide or teacher to do it. If she can't be more objective and fair than this, she needs to turn the reins over to someone who can. This isn't helping difficult child at all.
Its too bad one (or possibly two) bad apples can so seriously spoil the whole basket.
