school psychiatric and SW feel difficult child I should be in a partial living residence

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by amazeofgrace, Dec 2, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    like he'd have his own apartment and there'd be one counselor on site, and difficult child I would get himself up to go to school and get himself out the door to get to work??? These people are really nuts! difficult child II would be more capable of doing this then difficult child I would, that sounds mean, but I am the one here everyday watching difficult child I be oblivious of life in general!

  2. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    oh and difficult child I is home on OSS for 2 days for cursing out his teacher because she "took his hat away" the boy is 17 1/2!
  3. debi

    debi New Member

    Maybe he needs the trial of doing things on his own with the safety net of a counselor.
    I would personally go for it. Even if it only teaches him how much you do for him and how hard it is out there it would be worth it.
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I think I would go for it as well. It takes the load off of you and puts it on him, where it rightly belongs, with the safety net of the program he would be in. I hope that you will give it some serious thought, and ask the SW for a meeting where you can discuss all of your concerns.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Let him try it. It has a safety net. Until these people see what he is and isn't capable of he simply won't get whatever services are needed.

    Let him try it. Until HE tries it HE won't understand what he does and doesn't need to do. He also will be less likely to accept help unless you let him go and try things.

    also, he NEEDS to be OUT of your home. He is a danger to you, simply by selling drugs. With the partial set-up, if he gets caught with drugs YOudon't lose your home. and yor parents don't lose theirs. And YOU don't go to Jail for drugs, uprooting your younger child's only chance at stability.

    If you ahve a better program or option in mind, then go for that. But if you don't, you are just going to have to let him try something like this. IF he gets to be 18 they won't be offering him any choices. And then you will have an even harder time getitng him out of hte house, or dealing with his rages and abuse.

    I am really really worried about you. I know you have to do what you think is best. But he won't ever stop unless he realizes on his own that he wants to stop. This may show him how much help he really needs.
  6. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    AOG, I'm with Susie and Witz. I think you should let him try it.
    There is a safety net for him, and if he doesn't do well, the program is more likely to get him the services he needs.

    Right now, he is abusing you and putting you in danger, and teaching his younger brother by example that those things are okay.

    You need to have him out of your home. This seems like a safe environment in which to do that. I think it's a good idea.

  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Another vote here!! I think you need him away from you and difficult child 2 and I think he needs the rude awakening that might come later rather than sooner, but I think it will come at some point.

    Also, I hope you don't take offense by this because I don't mean it to offend you, but I think your family is stuck in a rut and something needs to jump-start it because it appears that it is enabling difficult child 1 to me. I think he needs to find out that you won't let this continue and it would be good for you to spend some time concentrating on where to go from here.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I would do it. There's a counselor around overseeing everyone. At least the burden is off of you. It's respite.
  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Unless there is some unspoken reason why he should not do it? I would be all in favor of it!
    Even if just for your sanity, you really do need to relieve yourself of some of this stress. You can not do it all.
    With the upcoming, pending extra stress, this could make things better for everyone.

    Hopefully! Hey, what if he actually does well?
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Another vote for letting him try it. It will take a lot of stress off of you, and I think it'll be good for him to be accountable to someone other than you for a while.
  11. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Did they tell you what the consequences will be if difficult child I does not follow the rules? What if he doesn't get up for school? Will they be notified if he does not get to school?

    I want you to be safe. I want difficult child II as well as your parents to not have to deal with this anymore. Can you imagine what it will be like to be your parent's age and putting up with this? I would agree to let him try this. I agree with others that if he does fail this, the powers to be will take more notice of his issues so hopefully the best help will be available.
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member


    This is the answer you have been looking for. Right?
    The counselor on site would help difficult child 1 do what he needs to do, not you. And if difficult child 1 still chooses not to do it ~ then so be it. But you cannot continue on this path anymore with him. You need to let him go ~ for everyone's sake.

    Many hugs.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Gosh, after reading your note and everyone else's, I don't know what to add ... I'm wondering if they would send him back to you if it didn't work out. Is this covered by ins?
    What sort of time frame are you looking at?
    I would think it would give you a break, at any rate.
  14. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Maybe then the powers that be will see how severe his behavior is? I would do it. He is so close to 18, and has been endangering your family.
  15. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I've not been on much lately so I am just kinda catching up on everyone. So sorry for what you are going through.

    If he goes for it, and then he tries and fails...he can't blame mom.

    Perhaps he will try and succeed instead! I also say go for it.