I am not sure if I am hijacking the thread or adding to it.I hope what I am gonna type adds to the thread, tho. ?? If not, then please accept my apologies.
Marg, what you were saying here reminded me of a conversation I just had 2 hours ago. I was on the phone with my brother who is nearly 30 years my junoir, from whom I had been estranged well over 5 years.but who is slowly coming back to me. He is a quite wealthy young man.....(he had a different fatehr than me- and his father passed away 8 years ago) whereas since 1990 me my husband and kids have been trying to survive on soc sec disability. I had been outcast as PWT........from our family. Recently our most religious in church sister and brother have outcast him along with me......why? Becuz they assume he is drugging and drinking etc. Becuz since our moms death, my unprepared much younger brother who had still been living with mom in the childhood home is having some difficulties with his sudden forced transition to independance. AND our other sister is wagging her "christian" tongue about his "poor choices" etc.
Apparently - she sees it all quite different than I do. I do think he has dabbled.......and yes sure it broke my heart- but------that was actually the beginning of him and I drawing close again. I confronted him PRIVATELY...........asked permission to HUG him, and then whispered in his ear how much I loved him, and please come to me. My sister, instead called everyone and anyone who would listen and simply purely gossippped about him and did so with the only intent of making him look "bad"
Truth is me and my siblings were raised to be forgiving and loving. Our uncle, my Godfather, our moms baby brother- he shot and killed his wife, our aunt. Our hearts were quite broken BUT while we heavily grieved her loss, we also stood beside my uncle thruout his prison sentence. Our mother and her other siblings truly believed that when someone is rock bottom, they need love of family there to help them see what they are doing wrong and lovingly guide them back to doing better.
Simply speaking porrly of someone with the only intent of making someone look bad, or trying to make someone else look bad so that you yourself may look "good" is evil and wrong.
My personal experience with our schools is not in my opinion anything morally "correct" It is all simply dollars and cents here. Money is The Bottom Line.........(please understand I am ONLY speaking of MY school here...............and my personal experience HERE) For us here, it is NOT about what is good or right to grow any kids into good civil working adults....it has sadly degressed to simply money..........and the kids who carry a diagnosis that could possibly someday create a media sensation...or kids who might need more funds for accomodations are wiggled nudged pushed & shoved along with their parents so that they will withdraw from school.
AH, OK, so some of you are going to post and say I am paranoid. Do keep in mind that off record the hearing officer who conducted our due process case confirmed this. And I was warned the more I fought, the higher the stakes would become. Sadly, my personal experience also showed the retaliation for trying to fight the system and force our school to comply with IDEA law was not confined only to my diagnosis'ed child.
BUT.............I am hoping hard that there is a possibility we are jumping the gun and that your school district is not quite so ..............nervous?
Have you posted to the Special Education forum here and asked Martie and Sheila to explain a little better for you about if the school sending your child home, even tho they are not formally calling it a suspension, if it still is considered one in the eyes of the law? And have you asked about the matter of 10 days worth being change of placement?
Change of placement can be many things. If a child is in regular classes and is moved to a self contained classroom, that is a change of placement. If a child is moved to a different school, that is a change of placement. Going on homebound status (which is something different than homeschooling) is a change of placement. But there are specific rules for changing placement.
I am pretty sure Martie will tell you very often a 504 is not worth the paper it is written on.......an IEP affords you better protections. If your child does not have an IEP, it might be wise to check into getting your child one.
People who are not part of a solution are...................part of the problem. The school is not helping your child if all they are doing is pointing a finger at you or your child and placing blame, no matter what they wish to blame. I do not care if you are married, divorced, a prsotitute, I do not care if you have 14 opposite sex husbands and 10 same sex mates. I do not care if you are Rockefeller or living in a shack. I do not care if you snort PCP and shoot meth into your arm. It does not matter. Your child has a right to an education. And getting an education involves more than going to a school building. BUT I am afraid you are going to have to work hard and study up about your childs rights to get an education. Polish up your warrior mom armour.
My heart just breaks when I look at my children and listen to them cry about the torture they endured at the hands of their school, and then reading that it is still happening out there. I used to blindly accept that maybe the school simply did not know better, but that was before I saw just how hard they can fight and twist things etc. And then when I get my outrageous real estate tax bill and see how much they charge us to treat the kids this way, it angers me even more.
Good luck to you. I do hope your school is not hardcore hardnose. But I am scared, it sounds like they might be.