Score 1 for Mom!!!

[DaisyFace]

My difficult child is the biggest liar this side of....well, anything.

My problem is, I always want to believe her - so I am always getting sucked into her stories....and then I find out it was all a lie...and then I feel upset, angry, hurt, betrayed...well, I'm sure you know. Especially when it turns out that she has scammed me into letting her do something or be somewhere that she has no business doing/being.

So today, difficult child comes home and in her "innocent" voice, she asks if she can go to so-and-so's house this weekend for a sleepover.

Well, my "Mommy-senses" were tingling big-time...

difficult child tried to explain that well, they are going to a bonfire from 6 to 8....and then home and then church.

I said "Nope"....no further explanation.

difficult child wanted to argue and got really angry and stomped out of the room.

I didn't budge.

I began googling...

Looks like Saturday is the big "Homecoming" bash (bonfire and everything). husband already told difficult child that she could not go...

so it looks like difficult child tried to get around me instead.

Ha! Ha! Mom's too smart this time

I am soooo proud of myself for not getting sucked in!

 

[Shari]

Hooray!!!!

 

[gcvmom]

Gotta love those gut feelings! They rarely steer us warrior moms wrong.

 

[Wiped Out]

Good for you

 

[ML]

Way To Go!

 

[timer lady]

Gotta love those gut feelings! It's the warrior mom thing at it's best.

 

[DaisyFace]

Thanks, guys!

I'm just proud of myself for actually following my gut feeling this time!

I always want to give her the benefit of the doubt - and I always get burned.

I don't know why it has taken me so long to learn...

I'm just glad I finally did!

 

[trinityroyal]

DF, good for you for trusting your gut feeling. That niggle exists for a reason.

I always want to give her the benefit of the doubt - and I always get burned.

This, THIS has GOT to be one of the hardest lessons to learn as a Warrior Parent. I think it's a combination of so many things:

• we want so much for our children to do well, be trustworthy, do the right thing just ONCE
• wondering if the behaviour is because of something we've done? ("Maybe I've been too hard on her? Maybe if I'm kind first it will model kindness for her and she'll reciprocate.")
• disbelief that our child, who was such a sweet little baby, could really have turned into this hellion that we don't even recognize anymore half the time
• the sweetness and charm that our difficult children seem to be able to turn on at the drop of a hat, when they need or want something from us.

And on top of that, keeping your guard up all the time is so much hard work. Sometimes it's easier to trust, and hope, and cross your fingers that this time she really means it and it will turn out well.

Fighting against all that is incredibly difficult. But the payoff is that it does get easier with time, you recognize the manipulations more quickly with time. And eventually, slowly, our difficult children start to realize that they can't get away with it, with us.

I'm very proud of you too, for sticking to your guns and seeing through the manipulation. Way to go!

Trinity