should i send ltr

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Teriobe, Mar 16, 2017.

  1. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    I was thinking of sending my son a letter of how i saw 2016. The year he was out from 4yrs prison stint. My thinking is now he is out if his life and sober he can see things now. Maybe he will read it and "see the light" How i saw him start going down hill. How he was a total ass. Or should i let it go.....
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    A letter is the same as a talk. They tend not to listen. It has to come from them. What is the goal in sending a letter?

    Send it for YOU if you want. He may or may not read it or care. Most of the kids who bring us here are not looking for our approval. They are into their own selves.

    Send it if you want but dont think it will change him. Do it because you want to for you.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2017
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    I agree with SWOT.

    But no matter what you choose to do, why don't you give yourself a break for a while? It sounds like you could use one.

    Please try to think of putting yourself FIRST. Think of being selfish for a while. It's okay. You've earned it. We all have!!

    I saw a new therapist last night. Wasn't sure how it would go as I had been with the same one for 7 months and she found a day job so left the group she was in. Was apprehensive starting with someone new and not sure what I could get out of it and a bit iffy if I still needed to see someone.

    Last night I got out of it that "mother's guilt" is a thing and it's real. Also that none of us really know HOW our children's life's are going to turn out! It's more of a stresser for those of us here because we've witnessed the destruction that they can do, but in reality, none of us know the future of our children.

    Focus on the moment. Take one day at a time. Focus on yourself. That's what I'm going to try to do.
     
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  4. Teriobe

    Teriobe Active Member

    Thanks everyone. I think i will not send that letter. I think he knows it already. I think i will end up screaming in the letter. Part of me just wants to do that so he feels bad because of all the hurt he has left. I just hope he doesnt say something stupid that will piss me off, he sometimes talks like there's no remorse. Hes very good at moving on quickly. I am the opposite. I hold on to past hurts and dwell in them.
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If they cared anout how we felt, we wouldnt be here.

    Its best to learn to let go quickly. Hanging on hurts only us.

    Have a great day. Do somethong nice for yourself.
     
  6. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Teriobe, I've written a lot of those types of letters and just never mailed them to the recipient. There is value in writing it down only for yourself. It can be cathartic.
     
  7. Carri

    Carri Active Member

    I agree with pigless. Write the letter as therapy. Tear it up or mail it to yourself to read again as the receiver. It may look all together different to you.