So confused with 3 1/2 year old.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MaryB0702, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. MaryB0702

    MaryB0702 New Member

    So my 3 1/2 year old has been fighting, hitting, spitting, kicking, throwing things, refuses to listen, etc. I am at a loss on what to do. He has been going to preschool three days a week since January and his behavior has only gotten worse. He has good days and bad days. Well the past three days have been the worst. Every time I bring it up to the doctor he says its normal. But the way he's acting is definitely not normal and I have asked three different pediatrician a who say the same. I am pregnant due in may and he has a little brother but nothing has significantly changed yet. I shower my kids with attention when I get a chance. And they get at least an hour with me one on one. I just don't know what to do anymore. I get over frustrated at him sometimes but when I try to separate myself for him for five minutes he screams mommy I want mommy. I don't give in because if I do I have tried before he will start hitting me again. I have tried telling him that it's not nice to hit mommy it hurts her and he says sorry and not even give minutes later he's doing it again. I am just so lost please need some advice
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. Welcome to the board, but sorry you have to be here.

    Well, first of all I'd stop talking to pediatricians because behavioral disorders isn't their field of expertise. Has your son ever had a neuropsychologist evaluation? I think it would be a good idea. His behavior is definitely over the top for a child his age.
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome. Can you tell us a bit more about the family background? A bit more about your son and the kind of child he is?

    No, it's not exactly "normal", but normal, schnormal, really... You need to understand what it behind it, what is driving it. The judgement becomes irrelevant when you know that. I was interested by your statement "I shower my kids with attention when I get a chance." Do you have a high-powered or pressured job that makes you absent from home a lot? How old are his siblings - is he the youngest?

    Tell us more :)
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hi, sorry things are so rough right now. Must be exhausting.

    Is this new behavior, since school started, or has he always been a more challenging child?

    If this has been an ongoing life challenge, then I'd look to get a neuropsychology evaluation or get him to a developmental pediatrician with a team of professionals that can help evaluate him overall..looking at communication, hearing, vision, motor, sensory, cognitive and developmental skills along with any social/emotional factors.

    If these are newer issues, have other skills regressed? That's another reason to get a big, comprehensive evaluation.

    How is his overall development? Does he do play dates? How do those go?

    What does the preschool say about how he does at school overall?

    If this is a change, sudden and only related to school starting or your telling him another baby is coming or....maybe a child psychologist could be a start. I have not had success or help from regular psychologists because my son has multiple developmental issues. Their suggestions just didn't help even when he was there, he would be aggressive and get worse so we always quit because they didn't know what to do. Our help came through occupational therapy, speech therapy, Special Education, and many alternative therapies like horse back riding therapy.

    A neuropsychology evaluation will look at all areas of development, a traditional psychiatric evaluation focuses on behavior and the way the family works. It just depends on the child what works for you.

    It sounds from the little you have said, like you feel something is wrong overall. If your gut is saying that, then you might try assertively telling the doctor you want a neuropsychology evaluation. They will argue and suggest a family counselor or psychologist. Say you'll be happy to try that if the neuropsychologist recommends it.