Welcome battleweary.....
I am glad you have joined this board, you will find amazing support here, as we all have endured years of antics from our difficult children, and we all lean on each other to find support, reassurance, and information. Also, if you would fill in the bottom profile portion of your signature, and list the medications and age of your son that will help us to answer your questions more completely and thoroughly when you post.
I know how hard it is to endure your son'e constant verbal assaults. I have one who has been doing that for 16 years now, and there are days I am ready to run away, get permanently lost, or escape in some other form or fashion. It is really hard. I think all of us, however, have had to find some sort of internal, personal, peace with our kids in order to keep going forward. For me, I have adopted the philosophy that my son is "my mission", or "my purpose". I used to ask why me all of the time - but it dawned on me one day - "Why me?" "Because I am the only one that can handle, understand, and stick with this child until he is successful." He is truly a gift I have been entrusted with, because so few others could help a child like mine. When I think of him as my personal mission to see through to success, suddenly the burden of being constantly at my wits end seems less.
Everyone here has different techniques I am sure they will share in dealing with our kids day in and day out. Hopefully from us all you will be able to share, learn, and find comfort. Again welcome to the board.