my difficult child has been an all around nightmare for the last 4-5 yrs (getting worse with each passing day) we have been in the mix of different psychiatric professional throughout with no diagnosis with a backbone and no treatment plan. We moved this summer back to the place we had previously come from hopeing things would get better. What a struggle. He failed his softmore yr last year and his new school advanced him on to be a junior anyway - talk about passing kids through. We had very extensive testing done privately at the onset of school. It took him out of school for 5 days and then state testing took him out for another 5. And he was held responsible for a week and a half of back lessons that teachers would not stay after and help him with. They were angry for his excessive abcence. Our test gave him the diagnosis of adhd and a significant reading disability that was not given a name. The school said this was not enough to grant an iep, and they gave me the impression the people I was meeting were the people to meet and would be the deciding factors. Anyway they had set up 504 accomidations, only nothing was being followed through on. difficult child was getting worse more angry, frustrated, lying, aggressive. I just couldn't take anymore. I found a wildness camp that feeds into a theraputic boarding school , we all went for a tour and I began the process of getting loans and signing him up. Also got recomendations for the school from his psychiatrist. Brought him home the full wardrobe and all esentials. He became exceddingly polite and helpful around the house. While appreciated that wasn't going to change anyhing. With a year and a half left to influence his life I really need to take the opportunity to turn things around. And clearly school will take ever opportunity they can to drag their feet until he's not their problem anymore. Now here's my miracle.........difficult child had his very driven ,together, with it kind friends over to the house (something he would never have done before just recently) We over heard them telling him about reports of abuse they have found about the school. They were telling him that he really needed to negociate, come up with some real alternatives - things he could stick with and make a comittment. my difficult child said that will never work, not possible (are you kidding sticking with it would be our dream). We checked into the allegations about the school and found them too concerning to ignore. We let difficult child know that we would be delaying the admission until we had more time to investigate the situation and look at other alternatives, but he needed to make some concessions and buckle down and make a meaningful commitment to make school work. At the same time school finally took our cries seriously after not only sending the formal request for alternate placement, but sending an email outlineing all that has been done ,the good the bad and the ugly, to every teacher, principle, vice principle, Special Education teacher, psychologist ,social worker who has ever had anything to do with him this year. It outlined difficult child's problems and the role everyone has played in not supporting this transition. We were granted the iep meeting that very day. I don't have a date yet , we just sent the papers back, but I'm more hopeful that we might get somewhere. Lots of research I want to be fully prepared and make the most this meeting. In the mean time difficult child has been making a much improved effort at completeing school work. He definatly needs help, but we are seeing 100% more willingness. He has even voluntarily given up computer m-f. Sometimes I can thank God for peer preasure.