someone help!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by kim.tarr35, Jul 15, 2008.

  1. kim.tarr35

    kim.tarr35 New Member

    my child is 9 male and i dont know what to do anymore. just today he burned the seat in the truck and stole 20 dollars out of the house.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I have a few questions that will help us help you.

    1/Has he ever been evaluated and what was his diagnosis? Any medication?

    2/Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of the family tree? Substance abuse? How was his early development? Did he cuddle with you, make good eye contact, talk on time, relate to his peers normally? Did he play with toys correctly and does he seem to have a good imagination?

    3/You may want to do a signature like I did below.

    It sounds like your child either has a psychiatric or neurological problem. I do not think he is a "bad" boy. IF I were you, I'd schedule him for a neuropsychologist evaluation (they are quite intensive and in my opinion more accurate than other professionals). You can find NeuroPsychs at university and children's hospitals. Setting fires is far out of the norm for a child, but is NOT a sign of a "bad" child. It is a big red flag that something serious is going on and that the child needs an evaluation and treatment. It is hard for us to give you advice because children with certain disorders do not respond to traditional parenting styles--usually they need help getting stable before things can get better. While you are waiting for an evaluation, you can purchase "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. That will likely help you while you wait for more help.

    Welcome to the board.
  3. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! Welcome to the crowd!

    Does he have any problems at school? Is he in a summer program, camp, etc?

    When you get a chance, look over some of our profiles on the board (at the bottom of our posts) and do one. It makes it easier to get to know you.

    Don't panic. While setting fires etc. is a red flag, there are many things that can be going on here (including that he's a 9 year old boy). Midwest Mom has some really good questions that will help point you in the right direction.

    Does he have any type of diagnosis? Is he taking any type of medicine? Is there any history of mental health/neurological/ substance abuse problems in either side of the family? Does he have friends?

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Most of us have been there so don't feel alone!

    Again, welcome to the crowd!

  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just wanted to welcome you and tell you that you have found the best possible support system out there!

    I look forward to getting to know you and your son.
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    as you can see, we always have tons of questions when a new member arrives. One thing that really helps give us some good information is a member doing a profile signature like you see at the bottom of our posts.

    If you include your son's diagnosis, any medications he may be on, who lives in the family home, any family history of mental illness, we can get a quick little snapshot and begin to offer some suggestions based on our experiences.

    I'm really glad you found your way here. You are in the right place. Give us a little more information/history about your son.

  6. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Welcome! You've found a great place for support. Post some more information about your son and his/your history and you will find plenty of advice on how to proceed in helping your son.

    Glad you've found us!
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Kim,
    In addition to the info we need to help you, you may want to scroll down and read some of the other posts, like Kicking, Hitting, Spitting, etc.

    Did your son burn the truck seat with-matches he got on his own, or do you smoke?
    I had a playing-with-fire issue a few wks back. That post has "Matches" in it and has an idea the child psychiatric gave us. (It has worked so far.)
    Did he take the $ out from under your nose (flaunting) or did he sneak it?

    Just trying to get some ideas.
  8. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    Just wanted to add my welcome! I also recommend starting with The Explosive Child - it and posting and reading this board made all the difference.

  9. Just adding my welcome!