sometimes you have to just shake your head at life

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Sep 5, 2010.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    2 mos. ago a very close friend of my family and mine and of just about everyone that met her suddenly passed, that and my father passing and my broken easy child is what kept me away soo long :) she was beautiful, young only 44, full of life, always giving me advice lol, and just a force to reckon with overall. she loved life to it's fullest. always had a smile a kind word or a blunt word to share......

    her and her husband went away on vacation. they came home one night after dinner and drinks, she had some heartburn got out of bed to get a tums, laid back down and had a massive heart attack.

    we all sat at the funeral, wake, mass in shock. it's still shocking to anyone that knew her. just doesn't make sense.

    today her husband my friend of so many years that the girls also love was diagnosis with prostrate cancer. they have no idea of treatment plan yet he's gotta heal from biopsy first.

    he lost her, than he got back from dominican where they went alone to get a letter stating he lost his job and now this.

    like i said sometimes you just have to shake your head at the insanity of it all. i guess and be grateful for what you have even if it's chaotic and insane it's stiill yours.

    why am is sharing this i guess it makes you think and say ok this isnt' so bad what i have going on here
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2010
  2. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Jena, I am so sorry. That is unbearable, and yet we have to carry on with our lives.

    I too was at the funeral last week of a class-mate. We had been in the same class from the age of 4 until the age of 18. She was a wonderful person, and helped so many people sort out their problems. She died only four months after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and it is very shocking.

    As you said, it makes one realise that we have to cherish what we have while we have it, and appreciate the good things while coping with the horrible other things.

    Sometimes it all doesn't make any sense. There doesn't seem to be any logic. At that funeral I truly felt that God had made a mistake this time (excuse my blasphemy).

    Love, Esther
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I'm so sorry to hear that. It's very scarey when we reach that point in life where our friends and ppl we have traveled our path with start to pass on. It does take time to heal. I just feel soo bad for him, he's one strong person. He amazes me with his strength and desire to still exist at this point.

    His wife, was as you said your friend was just one of the nices ppl around, and soo full of life. Hate to go religious since i'm truly not yet it seems as though whomever is calling the shots up there does infact take the good ones early.
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am so sorry about the loss of your friend and father. I spent difficult child's golden birthday (3 years old) serving at the funeral of a very good friend of mine. I still miss her a lot. Not the way you want to spend your child's golden birthday. She was killed in a automobile accident.

    You are sharing because it is heavy on your heart and you needed to share with someone. Putting it in writing also helps just a little to grasp that it actually has happened.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Jena, I am so terribly horribly sorry about this. I just now saw it, or I would have posted much earlier. It is SO HARD to lose those we love, esp when they are young, full of life and love and beauty and sass. Sometimes it is just impossible to find anything positive for a while. You have had so much stress, as have your girls.

    Sending many hugs, and suggesting, as I have to others, that you find a grief therapist or support group. Whether you do it now or later, it can be a huge help as you go through the process of grieving and learning to celebrate the memory of your friend the way she would want you to. I had a huge loss my first year of college and with-o the grief therapy group I would not have been able to handle any of my life at that time. They are often available at funeral homes - here they offer a free support group with a trained therapist who runs it (paid by the funeral homes in town, open to anyone who lives in the area and shows up.) I think this is not uncommon, and at least the funeral homes would know where to find a grief therapist.

    I am here if you need anything. Always.
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Andy that's horrible. Yet i try to see the positive in these things, believe that ppl truly do go to a better place and fact that one life can touch yours and be a part of who we are always astounds me. Your friends always with you.... just in another sense. yet yes spending difficult child's birthday doing that disheartening and challenging to say the least. I shared it bc when i heard about my friend getting diagnosis'd after what he went thru it hit me that wow you really dont' realize how lucky you are and alot of us here i know have had a few rough mos. and it's helpful to be reminded that hey yup our lives can be totally insane and chaotic and challenging yet their still ours and the struggles we go thru sux for lack of better words yet it makes those good days that much better.

    Susie - thanks :) as always....... no i'm good. but thanks. i did my processing already. found out about my father in january. so i've had my time, husband and i will be heading up to n.c. to visit his grave once difficult child gets settled in school hopefully and we can find 3 days that are not school or kids. as far as my friend she taught me and everyone else live life to its' fullest, because you just never know.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911


    Well HOW in the world are you girl? You know I have no rhyme or reason for the loss of people in our lives. It's truly one of the great mysteries I intend on solving when it's my turn to go. There are so many people that seem like they should go, and then there are people that we know like your friend that go and it just seems so ridiculous that she's gone, makes no sense and now him? Death isn't senseless, but the timing is. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Being the person that you are however I know you'll find the courage to help this man and his children. She was a lucky woman to have you for a friend - I'm sure she knew that and appreciated you then and now. Him too. I'll keep this family in my thoughts and prayers. Sounds like they could use a miracle.

    Good to talk to you again. You still doing the GAL stuff? How is the house with things that move on their own? Settle down yet?

    feel free to pm me....just wondered how you all were doing.....hope the restaurante` is doing wonderful~
  8. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Star -

    hi, how the heck are you?? still as funny as ever i'm sooo sure :)

    GAL nooooo!!! Worked in crisis team for difficult child's on brink of out of home placement for year and a half. it kicked my butt because between that and difficult child (she was at her best was medicated than), and the job was soo overwhelming. my phone ringing at midnite with-crisis, or having to run out at night. i liked the work, got to hug trees, do some good learned alot (which ofcourse i cant' apply in my own home lol) yet not for me at this point of the game with-my difficult child!!!

    house! wow you would of loved it. they got a video recordings and audio recordings ghost was def there!! no doubt. i did all the investigations towards the end i loved it bigtime. found myself in the library researching it lol. we moved out of there about a year ago now.

    we are in a nice quiet little house, a ranch on a cold de sac a total fixer upper with-no ghosts i'm happy to say. and last house was too big for difficult child. she got lost in it and anxiety was worse there if it's possible. I
    GOT MARRIED by the way!!! i should post a picture. was great little ceremony, great wedding in our backyard rented tents, tables, etc. had d.j. close friends and family. than we went to mexico for 5 days oh my god let me just say i was a woman on a mission....... calm, massages, sleep late ummm NO i was power drinking at the bar like a animal that was just let out of it's cage. lol. i had an awesome time though we met alot of cool people and it was sad to come back to this reality to be honest.

    restaraunt isnt' doing well, we found out the problem his manager's been stealing about 2k a week from the store for years now, hence lack of funds....... he fired him this morning actually he caught him on videotape. he is also in process of partially selling, he'll own 30% of store and work in it and get a reg. paycheck hopefully soon. things got real bad there, alot of backed up bills, etc. they actually put store in lockdown one day due to back owed taxes, just crazy junk as usual.

    ok, so how are you?? how is every little thing?? catch me up, pm me if you want also.

    as far as death, um I PLAN on taking my cell with me it will be in my lwt fully charged i told husband if i go first i'll text him and let him know the real DEAL. thanks, and she was a great person, my dad not so much but still my dad guy taught me how to fish, drive a car, change a tire all the essentials. we should be heading up to n.c. shortly to visit his grave
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2010