I am new here- desperate to find help. It will be a long long story I will try to make it short. My 23 year old son started with anxiety-depression issues in high school but would not get help. Suffered much bullying due to his extreme weight. Started with anxiety attacks so we did see a few doctors who recommended weight loss. He lost a nice amount of weight and then got his first girlfriend. He was so in love. Then she broke it off. Unknown to us he was a cutter. The girlfriend told me this and than we tried getting him help. Counselor told me he was suicidal and should be admitted. Took him to the er and they put a 72 hour hold on him.... He has never been the same. That was years ago. From then to now he has abused weed and alcohol. Had many therapists and doctors try to help but he would not follow through. Would stop drinking for a few weeks and then right back into it. He met another girl a few weeks after the first on left him and he was good for about 6 months. Then he turned again. She stayed with him through all of this which is over 5 years now. In this time he finished college and moved across the country. He lived alone for a few months struggling to find a job so I helped him with his rent which was very high. He ended up with a dui and then over the phone the girlfriend broke up with him.. Right away he was suicidal. Sent me text after text of his passwords, etc. I called 911 for out there and they took him to the hospital and released him - said he was just drunk... We flew out and found him a psychologist to help him with his drinking with the agreement I would still help with the rent. The girlfriend went back to him and all was fine. She moved out with him, he was on probation and couldn't smoke weed or drink. As soon as probation was up, he sold his car so he wouldn't have to deal with the blower in his car....selfish because now he had to depend on her or uber for a ride. Finally got a decent job as well. SOOOO... the girlfriend told me a week ago that she is planning on leaving him in 2 months before the lease needs to be resigned. He will have a complete meltdown. She suggested we fly out to be with him because she is also taking 2 of their 4 pets. There has not been a day that has gone by that I am not in a panic mode. I fear for what will be. She is exhausted and I don't blame her for wanting to leave. She said he is worse of an alcoholic than before. He expects her to pay for most everything. I can't pick up his lease and continue to pay my mortgage. He will have to find a new apartment because there is no way he can afford that one on his salary. For the last 6 weeks he texts me in the am that his anxiety is so bad and that he cries before work and at work. Feels he needs to work from home,etc. I feel that is the worst thing possible. So yesterday he text me he was at his breaking point and needed help. I was like wow he really is to that point now.... So i found some doctors for him to call and last night again I was researching trying to see who takes our insurance. I text him then and asked him if he followed up on any of the numbers and he replied no he feels fine once he is home...... What do I do? His world is going to crash, he refuses to get help. If we fly out there to be with him, he will not want us there but I fear the worst. I don't understand why he won't get help. The anxiety depression has been there so long, weed and booze isn't helping . My heart is breaking. I know the result of this. Even if he agrees to go to inpatient for 2 weeks once he gets out then what... Will he have his job? How will he move and find a place? He doesn't have any friends out there either. I have to let go and let God but this is so hard. I pray that God takes him home before all of this occurs. Horrible but this has worn me down so badly.