How many of you have spoiled your kids because you felt guilty? Guilty because they have a mental illness, are adopted, you made a mistake, whatever? I know I did. Oddly, my guilt was because I adopted her. She had so many bad things happen to her that I felt a collective guilt over the failure of her community. I thought she needed a little spoiling (okay, a lot) to let her know she was loved, cherished, adored. I don't mean just material things although that was factored in but 24/7 at her beck and call. Then, shortly after the adoption was finalized, there was the divorce. My ex agreed to stick around until the finalization but left as soon as he could after. The only reason he stucdk around was because I said if he would, I wouldn't ask for alimony or child support. So, there was the added guilt of raising her as a single parent and of having cheated her of the luxuries my ex could have helped provide. Now, I feel guilty that I spoiled her. She has such a sense of entitlement and I know I helped create that in her. Not all of it, but a lot. So, when does the guilt end? Please understand I'm not beating myself around the head and shoulders. I'm just acknowledging that some of my parenting was due to guilt and that that spoiling helped create some of the things I don't like in her today.