Staffing this morning ... terse email

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
I sent an email to therapist at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) yesterday regarding the staffing this morning for kt.

I basically set up the guidelines for today's staffing. I let therapist know that I wasn't going to sit there & regurgitate the old hx & stuff. That I didn't have the time to listen to psychiatrist (who I have a great deal of respect for) pontificate on his opinions on placement issues & Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) prognosis, etc, etc, etc. Once he gets on a soapbox, you cannot stop the man & I feel that we might as well lock up all children diagnosis'd with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) & throw away the key.

I don't believe my email was well received yet I felt the need to let all the professionals understand that I am still the parent.

kt coming home isn't what is being recommended by psychiatrist or therapist at Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They feel a step down to foster care would be the best plan. I let them know a couple of months ago there would be no more foster care for kt.

kt's anxiety level has lessened, knowing that she is coming home (unlike her twin). Since that decision I get reports that kt looks like a "million bucks". Yet therapist & psychiatrist are not backing down on the need to step down to foster care.

Mental health case manager, CADI manager, attachment therapist are all backing up the discharge to home.

Most of the services for kt are back in place - still waiting on a couple of items. Respite is already scheduled for the first weekend in March.

I'm rambling this morning - thanks for listening. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't blow off these well meaning professionals. I'm generally very diplomatic & business like, but as many of you know, I'm HORMONAL therefore very unreasonable! :rofl:


New Member
Linda, As you stated in a post to another member. We must do what is best for our child. So I am sure you will continue to be diplomatic and not ailenate good people just because you are "haomonal" :rofl: -RM

timer lady

Queen of Hearts

You're right - I will be on my best behavior. These staffings have become so very repetitive. Same stuff different quarter.

I have found myself daydreaming during these meetings while therapist & psychiatrist repeat ad nauseam all the negatives; rarely commenting on the gains & improvements.

A parent has to have some hope - something to cling to. I'm fully aware of the challenges; I've lived them. We all have with our difficult children.

Ah to get myself ready.

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful

I can't blame you for not wanting to hear the same old, same old yet again. I'm sure you'll be diplomatic, but reminding them of who the parent is I think was a good idea.

Keeping a good thought for your meeting today.



I think your email was right in line, this isn't a diagnosis meeting, it's a tx meeting.

Good luck.


Active Member

Hormonal is ok... :grin: Sometimes that is when we get the most done. :grin: You are just taking a stand for ktbug... :bravo:



I hope the staffing goes/ went well. I understand the repeated words that come from some of those staffings. With two also in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) we do the quarterly staffings also and they tend to get old fast. Reminding them who the parent is might be something I need to remember. As for being hormonal well sometimes the workers need to have a shake up. (hopefully not too big).



New Member
Hope all went well. You have to do what's best for your girl. I wouldn't want foster care, either, so maybe they needed a reminder.


Well-Known Member
Jeeeez, are we ALL having to stand up for our children this week? I'm with you.....peat and repeat over and over again. I get soooo sick of their suggestions...the same ones with no thought of US as the parents. I've about had it, how about you? Be strong :warrior:


Active Member
I think there is a HUGE difference between "blowing off " experts and simply being determined to keep the meeting on track. I have no qualms about stepping in and chairing the meeting (because generally nobody is officially 'in the chair') and saying, "We only have limited time, we need to stay on task - we've already discussed prognosis at length, today's agenda is trialling release to home," or similar. It CAN be done diplomatically, but if you're polite and firm and FEEL authoritative (and they're not expecting it) you can get away with it. Chances are, other people at the meeting who have previously had to sit through psychiatrists & tdocs waffling off subject - they'll thank you.

Something that really works for me - I take a laptop computer and take my own minutes of the meeting as we go. I have MY agenda drawn up and tick off each point as we deal with it, as well as note down what othr people said on that topic. If you're taking brief notes you can very quickly recognise when nothing new is said.
Another trick that can help here - you cut in when you get a chance, respond to (say, psychiatrist) with "So what you're basically saying is this..." and then summarise, in a nutshell, what they've said. And if it's off topic, then ask - "How does this relate to our issue for today?" If you REALLY want to cut things short, you say, "So perhaps this relates to today's agenda by explaining expectations. Thank you for expanding on this - but I think we need to move on to deal with practicalities for today and perhaps revisit your concerns at a later meeting, when we have a better idea of how she is actually responding once back home."
Then look around the room and immediately choose someone to speak who you KNOW is desperate to get back on topic. Once your eye contact leaves psychiatrist, he's been dismissed, effectively, from continuing. Unless he is VERY determined.

Of course, you're only the parent, you have no right to chair the meeting, but if nobody else is you can grab a brief advantage if you really feel the meeting has derailed. The trick is - any authority you're given - grab it and expand on it as if it's your right. Just keep bringing the meeting back on topic. Glance at your watch frequently, if psychiatrist (or any digressor) is about to grab the waffle back again. This empowers others at the meeting to follow your lead.

And 'hormonal' never comes into it!

I tried to respond a few minutes ago but husband came in from work. Anyway, I didn't have a chance to read this until this evening. Sharon already said what I'm thinking... You are a terrific :warrior:!!!

Please let us know how things went. kt is lucky to have you for her mother!!! WFEN