Staffing was interesting and disappointing

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mrscatinthehat, Nov 12, 2007.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Of course we did it by phone as we said we would. We are going to be looking at the possibility of her having to go into some sort of group care after she is 18. This is kind of a let down. It is not positive this will happen. When she was told she was very upset by this (not that I figured otherwise).

    So now we have to plan for both: her being on her own or her in a group home for adults. I was holding out so much hope. I know better but I couldn't help myself. All this talk of graduation etc and I got carried away.

    We have until May but since it is only 6 monthes out we have to be planning for all contingincies. It makes me very sad. We may have luck yet since she knows what the plans are and she may get into major defiant mode and say nope I can do it (one can only hope). I know it is out of our hands but this just bites. I wanted something to go the way it was supposed to. My fault for thinking it might I guess.

    We scheduled another staffing for mid December (not the time I want this but not my choice) so we can see how we should proceed. I don't want her to have her guardianship to stay with dhs after 18 but I don't know if we can handle having it. In addition to the places that our dhs worker is looking at I have a place in mind that might be able to help her so I am going to be looking into it.

    This constant self sabotage stuff can really wear a person down. :crying:

  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    :sad: So, so sorry. I guess she is just not ready yet. It does take these kids, sometimes, into their 20's to get their lives together. The frontal lobes of their brains are just not developed enough until then. I guess it is better that she be in a group home during this time of potential growth, than her ending up on drugs or in jail, or worse.

    Hang in there.
  3. onmyknees

    onmyknees New Member

    Aww (((Hugs)))...I was going to say what weepingwillow said about the frontal lobe thing. I keep telling myself that about our difficult child. And you are a good mommy for thinking and hoping and praying for your child, don't ever lose that! It is sooo difficult when our kids self sabotage..completely gut wrenching and mind baffling. My prayer is a light to the right path and a hedge of thorns to the wrong...that they will find no pleasure in their self destruction. Praying for you and your family.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Just sending support and sympathy.

  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gentle hugs being sent your way :flower:
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator


  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    I'm sorry for your disappointment. I know that you've been holding out hope for your difficult child - that there would be some kind of turnaround. Unfortunately, many of our little wonders just cannot/will not be able to function in the community with-o supports.

    I've been in the system with kids like yours for far too long - husband & I are already planning for supports for kt & wm. We have to even though it's 6 years away. The tweedles will age out of the system if I don't have supports in place or we don't see drastic maturing & changes in my babies.

    Sending you very gentle (((hugs))) this morning. Praying that you find what your difficult child needs.