Starting over ~

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Im a Believer, Apr 13, 2010.

  1. Im a Believer

    Im a Believer New Member

    Just need to write out and process.

    My difficult child #3 had been estranged from me for about 2 years - had successfully detached.

    A few weeks ago I posted that he got kicked out of where ever he was living and pulled my easy child#4 into his life and easy child#4 put him in a hotel and before I knew it - the entire family including my ex (who abused difficult child#3) went to the hotel and did an "intervention".

    He claimed he wanted help - knew he had mental issues and depression (still didn't verbalize his drug issue).

    His dad and I have located several places to help him (about 30) and gave him the phone numbers.

    He has been accepted by 2 of them (only visited 2) but had "excuses" why those places wouldn't work.

    he is currently staying with his grandma (my mom).

    Talked to him yesterday to see if any other progress has been made in his calling these places and he told me he has decided to go to school but nobody will give him a home. (Violins please)

    He has moved in and out of both his dad and my homes ~ It has never ended well.

    Lived with his married sister twice - dogged her and her husband.

    The conversation ended with me hanging up - he began telling me how I have never done anything for him - Blah - Blah - Blah.

    I have tried to share with the rest of my children we need to all be on the same page.

    Now- I have to go thru the process of detaching again.

    I know I will do it - but I feel like I'm at "START" again.

    I appreciate the link to the Detachment information - Thanks Nomad.

    Thanks for letting me process.

    Need to make myself have a good day today ~
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I'm so sorry. Good that you are processing it all. Yes, that detachment sight is AWESOME. It was originally posted by Suz.
    I re-read it from time to time.
    Yes, it is up to you to have a good day. Sure, it ain't easy. But think about it, we ask our difficult children to do things that are tough for them. We ask them to take a look at what's going on around them and make better choices, even if it is difficult at times. It is out of their comfort zone, but the repercussions are grave. So similar for us.
    But it is what it is. It is what must be. What must get done.
    Happiness is not only a choice, but our right and the way it should be. There are days that we have to push for it.
    Lasted edited by : Apr 13, 2010
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    It might help for you to tell yourself that you can't control others (the family), just yourself and what you will/won't do. They'll have to come to that point in their own time, and each of them will eventually.

    I do think it's harder to have to go back to Start, though. And honestly, you did help him. You gave him ways to help himself. Now he has to decide if he wants to.