Starting to think there is something wrong with my son

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Cecmomrie, Dec 17, 2013.

  1. Cecmomrie

    Cecmomrie New Member

    Hello. I'm new here cause I'm starting to reach out. My son is five years old and my family has been concerned with his angry outbursts for awhile now. He's had them for awhile now, since he was about 3. We thought maybe he would grow out of them but it's getting worse. When he gets angry it's screaming at a high level, absolute refusal to do anything rational and he starts to hit himself or things around him. Takes about twenty minutes to calm him down. He is now hurting people for no reason. At first it was just us (parents) and then he started kicking or hitting his grandparents. He has two sisters both smaller than him and he likes to hurt them when no one is looking just to see what happens. One of his sisters is only 8 months and he decided to pinch her face til she was screaming just cause he felt like it. When I asked him why he would think to do that he said he just knew it was a bad choice but did it anyway. He shows absolutely zero remorse. He is more upset about the punishment then hurting someone. This is extremely concerning. One moment he is so smart and reading words out and hugging and kissing his sisters and the next minute he's screaming cause he couldn't figure something out and having a meltdown or he's hurting someone. We have tried many different forms of discipline but nothingness seems to be working. I am now too scared to even let him play with his sisters cause he might hurt them if I turn away for a second. He does great in preschool and is really smart. He just turned five and can read words, count to 100, and has an amazing memory. But if something messes up what he's doing, or doesn't get his way he is extremely angry where he's hitting throwing and sometimes hurting others. He has no empathy when hurting someone. If you explain why he's in trouble he just argues back and yells at you. You can tell him to stop talking or be quiet but he will not finish arguing or listen til he has said what he feels necessary. Please anyone help. I want to bring these issues to my doctor but my husband just thinks it's something he will grow out of but it's getting worse.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Hi, and welcome.

    Trust your mommy gut... it's something most of us had to learn. No, he isn't likely to grow out of it.

    Getting an accurate diagnosis (or multiple if needed) is really important. Until you know what you are dealing with, you have nothing to guide you in determining strategies, interventions, accommodations, therapies, and/or medications that might help.

    Can you tell us more about his first years? As a baby, toddler, etc.
    What happened around age three?
    The more you can tell us, the more other parents can pick up on little details.

    Meanwhile... if your board name is your real name, you will want to change it. Please contact Cheryl (board name runawaybunny) for assistance to do so.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I think you're right and your husband is wrong. His behaviors are serious enough that you are afraid he'll even hurt the baby. Can you tell us about his birth and afterwards? Any problems? Medical issues? Any separation from you and your husband? Or one of you? Any psychiatric problems or autism/Aspergers on either side of his genetic family tree, even if he never knew the person who is affected (genetics kind of sneak in there even if the kids never meet the person!). Does he understand how to give-and-take play with his SAME AGE peers? Does he have any obsessive interests?

    I'm sorry you had to come here, but welcome. I would take him for a neuropsychologist evaluation. I am thinking that he needs some interventions but will probably do pretty well if he gets the right kind of help right away...he is definitely differently wired and he thinks differently than other kids and probably can not control his anger...traditional parenting methods do not work for our differently wired kids. We need help from professionals in order to help them.