Well I have taken positive steps !! I have not made contact with my daughter. She hasn't made contact with me. That is not surprising though. She will be confident that she can go her own way. No need to apologize. Just yet that is. She knows the drill. Confident that I will miss her. Confident that I love her. Confident that a glimpse of the daughter I want her to be will suck me right back in. I have however read and re read the comments left on my first post. I have read and re read the article on detachment. I have made an appointment with a psychologist who specializes in Border Line Personality Disorder. I have explained that I was advised years ago to seek help. Now I am ready to ask for and accept help and support. I need things to be different. I need to let my daughter live her life. No matter what that brings. Believe me I know that means heartbreak and tears for me. She will not miss or need me until she comes unstuck. I read on this site that the hardest thing is learning to accept the apology I never received . Well I am accepting my daughters apology that she will never give me. Thanks so much for letting me type out my hurt and pain.