husband and I had a conversation a few minutes ago. How we thought we had to deal with difficult child's blaming us forever. He is our "kid". We thought we had to own and deal with his angriness for life. We really did. How sad is that?
Perhaps, it was/is because my parents are very thumbs on parents - 30's, 40's, 50',s it does not matter where my brother and I are in life. They intercede quite often. I am 59 and they seldom pass up an opportunity to let me know how disappointed they are in my political and church affiliations. My brother receives it, too, but he is tougher. 58 years old and a district judge. They are very proud of him but comment on how he eats too fast, how he cow-tows to his wife, etc.
It's nuts. We get that part, but I bet it has spilled over onto how I dealt with difficult child.
And, husband's parents were a little like that - though not nearly so much.
Just today, my mom forwarded an email (which I did not open) regarding where the terrorist camps are in the U.S. You and husband might want this info when deciding on your next US trip.
Your quoted post is wonderful. Love it. It takes some of us longer to get there, but I am grateful husband and I have seen the truth and are living it. So simple, so obvious.
I love the way you put it together and made it personal, Seeking. Another thing I noticed while reading your response is that I think most parents are like that to varying degrees. It comes with the territory, maybe. But for those of us with difficult child kids, to feel the least bit responsible for our children, to advise them in pretty much anything means we are going to pay for it with our own quality of life.