Sweet Betsy-Will it Ever Change?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MrsMcNear46, Sep 10, 2008.

  1. MrsMcNear46

    MrsMcNear46 New Member

    Hello Friends-

    I so hate to find myself here again, but oh my, I could use support, prayers, bead rattles etc.

    I will spare you the details, but my Sweet Betsy is back to some of her old ways...manipulative to the hilt, selfish, not accountable for anything, over the edge. At almost 20 and a mother, I really thought we were past all of that, but apparently not. I am beside myself with her actions of late, but have done a good job of detatching. I haven't had contact with her in a week, don't plan on it, but still struggling. She is using Lincoln as her bargining chip, took him out of my home, doesn't want me to be a part of his life, I am so evil.....yeah right.

    I will get thru this, I have had so many lessons from the past to draw from, and a different attitude about it all.....she is an adult now.

    Please pray for all of us, espicially for Lincoln's safety. And that Sweet Betsy will get a clue. Guess I'll be changing my profile as well....good greif.

    Blessings to all,

  2. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Oh Julie,
    I am so very sorry to hear this. Please do post as often as you need to, you know we are all here for you. Yes, you will get through this but I sure wish you didn't have to! I am so sorry she is using Lincoln as a bargaining chip. I have a feeling that is what my difficult child 1 would try to do--she is also 20 yrs old and expecting a baby boy in November. I am 3000 miles away from her though and it will be hard for her to use the baby as leverage. It is so disappointing when you think they have changed and then they go back to their old tricks. I know you didn't want to have to come back here.
    Thinking of you,
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Julie, to adopt a cliche, our kids always take a few steps forward, then a couple of steps back. It takes years to learn new behaviors and your daughter is still learning. And it takes years for us parents to learn new behaviors, too. I'm sure I'm singing to the choir here.

    I'm sorry that Lincoln is stuck in the middle. sigh.

    Fingers crossed and lots of good thoughts.

  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'm so sorry difficult child has gone backwards. She was doing so well.

    Saying prayers for all of you.

  5. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Sending good thoughts your way...... wishing things were different......
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You can count on my support and prayers. She has made progress at a young age and I'm sure she can get back on the path. Meanwhile, do all
    you can to lead "your life". Hugs. DDD
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I'm sorry and a big hug for your hurting heart.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    You know Mc,N

    Betsy reminds me of those Chinese acrobats that do the plate twirling on a stick. She could not do it, could not do it, could not do it, and then one day got one plate spinning, then two, then three and then added a little cup and saucer to her act.....and kept all the plates spinning, doing a good job and showing everyone in the world she could do it. The crowds went wild, she loved the attention....

    Then (like now) she's lost focus. Her plates are crashing down and she's using the little cup and saucer to still show everyone she could do one thing right. Evil as she's trying to be now - she's responsible for him being here.

    I suspect since you are a master of detachment and give her no audience she 'may' try to entertain others but won't get teh same type of attention and love she did from you for keeping all her plates going. I see this as a temporary thing, and hope she'll be back in no time to spinning more plates than ever. She is after all, a genius. I'm her auntie, I would know these things. Just right now? She's an evil genius. (does she have a shaved cat?) ....never mind.

    Take care, take my prayers, take my love -