Okay, we're back
First point against us: difficult child 2 was out late with husband at difficult child 1's soccer practice. easy child/difficult child 3 was so excited, she didn't get to sleep until after 10:30pm
So everyone was beyond tired when I had to wake them at 6:15 so we could have 30 minutes to eat, dress and hit the road. We made it just in time to get our tickets and board the boat.
The ride over to the island was pretty good. Everyone was really excited about the experience.
Once we got there, we decided to take a short hike to a botanical garden and memorial for William Wrigley Jr. (of the Wrigley's gum fame) who lived on the island at one time.
THAT hike was point #2 against us. difficult child 2 was tired, easy child/difficult child 3 was tired, and between the two of them they managed to start WWIII just by being near eachother. It was all I could do to keep them moving towards our destination without killing eachother.
There was a trolley service available, but my uncle wanted to walk and so did difficult child 1 and my cousin -- and I was up for the walk, too. But I SHOULD have just said, I'll catch the trolley with these two and and meet you guys at the end of the road. Hindsight's great, huh?
My aunt and I took our time with the two murderous slow-pokes, stopping frequently for rest and water and me trying to distract, distract, distract. Plus, I gave difficult child 2 a sandwich to eat while he walked, and that helped a bit.
Once we reached the botanical garden, the mood had changed a little and they were interested in looking at the cactus gardens, reading the signs for all the indigenous plants, watching for woodpeckers -- in other words, more distraction
We came into view of the memorial which is a beautiful 180 foot monument that you take a graceful curved stairway up to the top with a view of the Pacific down below. Another lovely distraction that I was grateful for.
With the promise of a trolley ride and a swim at the beach when we got back for good behavior, we sat for about a half hour to eat lunch and relax. difficult child 2 was better, but still impulsive. My uncle knows about difficult child 1's ADHD and still assumes difficult child 2's issues are the same -- he said it seems like he needs more medicine! I kind of laughed and agreed that he needs something, but we're still working on it. He just shook his head. In a way, it was nice for me to have witnesses to what I deal with day in and day out.
They all had a blast down at the beach and swam for about two hours. No waves to speak of and a great little diving platform about 50 yards out, plus lots of other kids to keep difficult child 2 and easy child/difficult child 3 away from eachother. It didn't stop difficult child 2 from shoving her off the platform, not once, not twice, but three times after I AND the lifeguard hollered (him with his bullhorn) to NOT do that! After the third time, I ordered him OUT of the water. The lifeguard said he'd be making him do pushups and I turned with surprise to say, "How did you know I was going to make him do that?" He just laughed and said he uses that with his jr. lifeguard kids who act up. When difficult child 2 got to shore, the lifeguard said he knew he was a good kid, just poor choices. I think that made him feel good to hear that from another adult. He did his little exercises and then sat out for 5 minutes. I had to pull him out one more time after that about 10 minutes later, but that was the last time I had any problems like that from him. I think the physical exercise did him good, because the impulse control was better the rest of the day.
A funny thing happened on the boat ride back. difficult child 1 and his cousin continued to pair up like they had all day. They just really seem to hit things off, and I'm glad for that. And easy child/difficult child 3 makes friends very easily and so she found two sisters about her age and hung out playing games with them. But who does difficult child 2 gravitate to? The 4yo brother of the girls (who I mistook as a 3yo because of his stature and language, which his mom said is a bit delayed). Those two sat for about half an hour chatting and examining a dead fruit beetle (BIG green metallic thing) difficult child 2 had found under a seat on the top deck. He is SO good and SO patient with little kids! I asked him about that tonight. He said that he likes little kids because they are interested in him and what he knows, and that kids his age just don't seem to care. I told him that friends care about what friends like, and maybe he just hasn't met the right kids yet his age. I SOOOO hope the social skills class the school has prepared for him will help in this. THIS and his impulsivity are the two biggest problems he has today.
I had a long talk with difficult child 2 and easy child/difficult child 3 tonight at bedtime about their relationship and how something HAS to change. I asked them both to think about it for a day or two so we could talk again about their ideas on WHY these fights happen and what we all might do to improve things. They both have a role in this that needs to change.
So now I am totally wiped. I essentially had to hover next to him with a very short leash most of the day. Being on guard like that for 8 hours is exhausting.