Haven't had a morning like this for a long time, ugggg and its still not over...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Nov 7, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Q wanted to stay up for the elections. He wanted Romney because he wants to be opposite of everyone else around him (at his school it was 80-20% and he was so happy to be the underdog...he is the same way with nascar drivers) anyway...he went to bed, woke this morning and asked who won. I said, do you want me to tell you or to check yourself. he said to tell him so I did and he went off....screamed I was a liar and I should have lied for real and blah blah all the nonsense stuff that makes no sense. He was mad I put milk in the bowl for him like I always do (but not the cereal so it doesn't get soggy) and then he said he wants soggy cereal from now on....anyone with a two-three year old can relate I am sure. (yes, mine is nearly 16, sigh)

    Then I said he had to stop because I was not comfortable sending him on a bus if he was escalated like that (bus has been 100% great since last May! so I didn't want to ruin that). He said, I will take the bus! blah blah. I decided to go for a ride to call the bus company and school and let them know he would likely be late because I would be driving him when he was calm. He wouldn't let me out, shoved me on my bed "fake" bit me (he puts his mouth on me but does not bite) tried crossing my arms like the do when they restrain him (see why that is a bad idea???) etc. I finally got out and rode around and cancelled the bus.

    I came back and told him he had to be calm for two hours or no school at all today. He tried to argue but knows I mean it. He then pushed....I am going to Chuck E (where he goes with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers often, no money but he has fun there....) well he remembered that I said if he was aggressive with me he would be grounded from Chuck E for a long time. He got his one chance and it is all over. Of course I said we are not talking about that now but he got escalated again. He just said "I WILL GO" over and over....nothing hurtful but still, uggg. Now he is cuddling with JJ (the dog) and his clueless teacher called. ( I had left a message and then sent an email and he CALLS me....they know well that I can't talk on the phone with Q around. Standing rule. I just said, check your email and he said ok and I hung up, duh).

    He asked what I said and I told him (big risk) that we would see at 10:30 (Its 9:00 now) if he is able to go to school. He said why? then just walked off and is eating and being calmer now....(I had him take his pm Zyprexa dose early and it seems to be kicking in)

    So now my emotional side wants to ground him from everything. He was awful. But I know we just have to deal with it using the methods that work and move on and hope for another several months without such an issue.

    I have a tour of the other site they want today (I'm only doing it to make them happy, I will update on another thread....I am hating life lately and it is so intense I have not really been able to talk about it much but that is eating me up so I do need to do better and let it out)

    And the whole time what was I thinking...no way in heck I am calling 911. I really have to talk to the man who came out when I butt dialed 911 a couple of months ago. I talked to some people about that and I think it is a good idea to share my concerns. I read an article that says as there are more and more kids with autism and they first wave is getting older the "dark side" of autism is rarely talked about in the media and even workshops for professionals so they really do not get how intensive it can be. When I read people's stories of kids who bite, kick, hit, scream, etc....it lets me know I am not alone and that we really need to address this before our jails are even more and more full of kids with developmental disabilities and serious mental health conditions. It is not the place to service them, it doesn't keep them or the public safer. One article mentioned a study with recommendations for training for public service people, I want to track it down. I know I will have to call 911 at some point again....it is just our reality, but you bet it will have to be way more than a shove and a push. He will certainly have interventions for those things, but not that unless I am sure that is the only way. I've been there so know it is a risk, but seems every choice is anyway.

    Huge issue I will take care of today is that it has been very clear for the last four months that if we have Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) less than three days per week then things start to go badly. Our Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers are changing (another huge change for Q) and the new one has not been scheduled yet. He has come a couple of times but Q needs a predictable and regular schedule. We had Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) once last week and so far once this week. Not good. This is what is keeping him home and not in residential, it is the whole point of the waiver, to keep people in the community so it is frustrating they have not worked out schedules yet.

    oh man, my thumb hurts, got jammed in our stuff this morning....

    Thanks for the vent.....

    ps he is very very quiet...yay
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    well, its 11 oclock, guess we will give it a try. He has been very calm and appropriate since I posted.....pray for us.

    I go see that other site at 2:30, uggg
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Wow. His mind really was stuck. I hate when he gets aggressive with you. That part is scary. It's a good thing he doesn't go past a certain point in that aggression. Hopefully the calm lasts the rest of the day. Have you contacted the Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) supervisor to complain? I would. It's too detrimental to Q and THAT should be their priority.

    difficult child 1 is a little out of sorts today too but it has nothing to do with the election or anything else. Haven't figured it out yet but I sure hope he can turn it around ...... SOON!
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You're living it day to day, and we don't see the details, but... in some ways, Q seems to be holding his own... the things that are happening are almost predictable. It's just so hard to get the structure and support we need.
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm sorry it was a bad morning for you. I'm glad that he seems to have calmed down. I hope the rest of the day gets better.
  6. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Well, another message from the front line. It's hard, you do very well. You need respite... DO you get enough?
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    No, she doesn't get anywhere near enough respite... the system doesn't allow for paid-parenting plus paid respite, and... <sigh>
  8. Oh Buddy what a difficult morning for you two. I'm glad he quieted down and was able to regain control so that he could go to school. I sure hope the rest of the day goes better for both of you.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Arrgh, my heart rate went up just reading your note. been there done that sooo many times. Wow, did he wake up on the wrong side of the bed.
    I am so sorry you had to take that huge emotional hit and earful. It lasts for a long time, even after he stops, I know.
    Then on top of it, you have to deal with-"the system."

    Be good to yourself tonight. {{hugs}}
  10. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Gosh I wish I had some words of wisdom. You are so strong.
  11. julierose24

    julierose24 New Member

    Oh my. So sorry about your morning. Hope things got better as the day went on.

    Funny, we had the opposite over here -I think Obama winning is the only reason I didn't have several meltdowns this morning (like we have for the past several days). She was very excited about it. Strange considering we never talk politics.
  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry you had such a bad morning. I hate mornings like that. We don't have many like that anymore but yesterday we did-(not as bad as yours but he was threatening and swearing and posturing...) Sending hugs your way.
  13. Signorina

    Signorina Guest