Talked to my difficult child tonight

[AK0603]

As most of you know he's moved to his father's in Indiana, he's been there since Sat. night.

Well today was his first day of the new school, guess what? Teacher already called instead of doing his homework he drew pirate ships all day, so his father forced him to do the spelling at home, he was being "funny" about it, trying to write really really tiny, then skipping words and trying to "fit" them in the wrong places and such.

So dad ripped the paper and made him start over, he again didn't follow the directions that day, he ripped that one I guess and made him start over. He start yelling at his father and saying he did things to him in the past that he didn't (like he always did with me) and his dad had to pick him up from the table and place him in his room for 1/2 hour, he calmed down and did the work but took until 10 pm.

i spoke to dad tonight, the medications are doing nothing for him, nothing. So they need to be switched back or on something different. I hate not being with him expecially with the dr. parts, because my ex husband may not remember everything to tell me.

I have to say although I'm sad he's doing this still there, I'm a little happy it's not just ME. Or our household, it's just his life.

He cried, I miss you mom, dad is mean, I want to move home, I'll be good and more and more, hard to hear. He ended up getting upset with his dad on the phone with me and just ending the conversation with me then. :frown:

Hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow. I love and miss him dearly.

 

[Loris]

I'm glad you got to talk with him. I'm sure this is hard on both of you. Looking at his medications sound like a good idea. Hopefully he'll have a better day tomorrow. I sure hope so.

 

[totoro]

This must be so hard on you. Hang in there, he needs some time to adjust and get used to this situation. Of course he is going to want to be with you, you are his Mom! It hurts to hear... you are doing the right thing for now. Give it some time and don't be to hard on yourself.
How are you feeling??? I hope you are taking some time to yourself, I know it is hard. Even a few minutes sometimes helps...

 

[Liahona]

Wow, no honeymoon period for the school. Glad ex is handling him and willing to go to doctors appointments. Doctors have to take notes of everything. You could ask for the notes to be mailed/emailed to you. Or better yet have ex ask for you. That way it won't look "interesting" to the doctors. Just for your peace of mind.

 

[busywend]

I am sorry you have to go through this. It is rough to hear our difficult children say they want to be with us. We have to be the adult and know that they need more or different than what we can provide at this time. Hang in there, stay strong. You will hear things from him that may break your heart and make you want to get on a plane that minute. But, you can not. If you 'rescued' him it would be worse when he got home.
You can do this.
You are being a warrior mom!
:warrior:

 

[timer lady]

It's so difficult to hear the tears, the promises. difficult child must be reminded that this change isn't a punishment - it is to get him help that isn't available in your home.

Time will lessen the emotionality.

 

[pepperidge]

I don't know whether you can talk to your ex, but it occurs to me reading this, that perhaps your ex might want to cut him some slack in the homework dept for a few weeks (maybe until spring vacation?) and work on establishing a good relation with him. It is a lot for your son to get used to, and sometimes homework is not worth the battle. Just my two cents. I for one have nevr gotten anywhere over the do or die homework battles except pushing my son to the point where he says he wants to die. Not worth it.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

I 100% totally agree with perpperidge's post. It is so much more important that he establish a relationship with his dad, than fight with him over homework.

Perhaps you and ex could discuss it calmly on the phone tonight. You both love him and want the best.

Sharon

 

[AK0603]

Hi, yes Sharon and Pepperidge we did talk about that last night. And we both agreed, the school isn't only giving him 1/2 homework for the first 2 weeks as well so he can adjust better, so he's only got a small amount each night.

I spoke to him tonight and he did much better today, no arguments and got all his work done correctly. :smile: