HeadlightsMom
Well-Known Member
Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!
A friend commented last night how our difficult child "sparkles". He does. No, I mean he REALLY does. He is so beautiful and can be so loving and forgiving (intermittently). And I HATE having to qualify his loving and and forgiving side with an "intermittently" comment. But it's true. It's factual. And it hurts my heart.
I pulled out some old photos and am just flowing with tears. Dammit! I know he's in there. Sometimes I'm just so sad about what a rollercoaster it's been raising him and loving him. I have cried many tears and I'm crying them again now.
I know you all live this, too. I know you all know what I'm saying. I am SO tired of crying over difficult child. It's like a never-ending abyss over the years. But, honestly, I haven't cried over him in a long time.
But now he's in rehab, so I find myself in unfamiliar turf here, as he seems to be taking it seriously and trying. I have NEVER seen that from him re: drugs before. And, honestly, I don't quite know what to do with it.
Just processing my own emotions right now and feeling a little all over the place with it.
Crying a LOT right now. I believe in love. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in second chances (and 3rd, 4th, 5th, gazillionth chances). I also believe in reality. And in the middle of all of that lies an ocean of tears.
Just expressing as it's overflowing
A friend commented last night how our difficult child "sparkles". He does. No, I mean he REALLY does. He is so beautiful and can be so loving and forgiving (intermittently). And I HATE having to qualify his loving and and forgiving side with an "intermittently" comment. But it's true. It's factual. And it hurts my heart.
I pulled out some old photos and am just flowing with tears. Dammit! I know he's in there. Sometimes I'm just so sad about what a rollercoaster it's been raising him and loving him. I have cried many tears and I'm crying them again now.
I know you all live this, too. I know you all know what I'm saying. I am SO tired of crying over difficult child. It's like a never-ending abyss over the years. But, honestly, I haven't cried over him in a long time.
But now he's in rehab, so I find myself in unfamiliar turf here, as he seems to be taking it seriously and trying. I have NEVER seen that from him re: drugs before. And, honestly, I don't quite know what to do with it.
Just processing my own emotions right now and feeling a little all over the place with it.
Crying a LOT right now. I believe in love. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in second chances (and 3rd, 4th, 5th, gazillionth chances). I also believe in reality. And in the middle of all of that lies an ocean of tears.
Just expressing as it's overflowing