terrible tragedy

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by dreamer, Apr 3, 2008.

  1. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    Seems this morning one of my easy child and difficult child and PCs boyfriend got hit by a car driven by one of my difficult child/PCs friends. ANd the kid who got hit was also involved with my sons scouts pack....

    It does not look or sound good at all, they airlifted by helicopter the boy who got hit on one of our local rural roads into the city....where word is he is not doing well at all. The boy who hit him has already tried to suicide. The boy driving the car knows the boy he hit.....such a sad tragedy. The whole school is quite upset today...so many many of our local kids this school year have had some very tragic (and several fatal) car acidnets etc. SO sad how quickly life can take a tragic irreversible turn, for the victims, and also for the ---um-----ones at fault? SO very very sad.
  2. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    OK I cannot type. It was a friend of my oldest child and middle child and middle childs boyfriend------their friend----is who got hit....and another of their friends who hit him. MY kids and my kids sig others are all OK- none of my kids or their Sig others were involved. SOrry.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. This is a tragedy. It will forever be with the driver who hit the boy, as well as all their family and friends. Be sure to get some counselling for your kiddoes.


  4. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    (I am just shaking my head at the sadnes- how fast things can be foreevr altered in peoples lives)

    well, the boy who was hit- Brian, was in Ireland with easy child on the chorus trip. The other kids from school got angry at him, becuz he was unmercifully teasing another girl on the trip whose father was involved in an awful car fatal car accident tragedy just blocks from where todays was----but now the kids feel guilty about being angry at the boy who got hit. Ironically, the kids who had gone to Ireland had just gone back to school today, and the boy Brian was on his way to his school bus this morning. Several kids witness the accident, and several kids also saw the boy both before and after the paramedics arrived and before the helicopter arrived. He was airlifted and helicoptered into the city. The school dean has said his condition has gotten gravely worse since getting to hospital- he WAS conscious immediately after the accident, but, could not move, not even his head. (per the kids who were there)

    The boy who hit him, JUstin.....ah, a true difficult child tale. He was recently involved in...a stabbing at a bar in town here. Seems someone was threatening and harming his girlfirend so he stabbed the guy - he claims- in defense of his girlfriend. So he is already going to court for that (altho court here for such things commonly drags out into being month after month of continuances for a few YEARS)
    WOrd is he was going maybe 60 MH when he hit the other kid.on a stretch of road with a 35 MPH limit in a all residential area, a block from a 4 way stop. (actually directly in front of the fire dept amidst the houses)
    So at the moment I have a house full of kids- some friends of the victim, some friends of the ...um- person at fault....the friends of the driver trying to say hey the driver has a BIG car (truck?) with a big engine.....um, sorry, I do not care how big the car might be----a block from a stop sign you should not be able to build up speed of 60 MPH anywhere, even if it were a 65 MPH zone....(and truly, my bug builds up to a faster speed far quicker than my big 8 cylinder durango)
    THe kid got hit, and I guess hit windsheild, but, I guess it is just still so much to do with just where on him got hurt and how it got hurt, etc....so the kids were looking to me to say whether the kid would be 100% okay again ever, or what? I had to tell them it is just SO unpredictable. BUT if hospital told the dean he was gravely worse, that implies to me it is really bad.....plus being helicoptered and taken where he was is a very bad sign.
    The kids want to know if the school has any responsibility, becuz the kid was on his way to get on his schoolbus when he got hit. I had to tell them I have no idea.....I do not know if he was where he is supposed to be, where the school said to be or whatever? (well, obviously the school did not tell him to be IN the road and from the looks of the police spray paint in the road, he was in middle of road)
    The boy who was driving is not in jail at this time, has not been arrested for anythnig, so far he just has a bunch of traffic tickets ----but who knows if and when that might change. He did take a knife to himself right after the accident, after he got his tickets and went home. Someone (difficult children friend) intervened, but.noone had him transported to any psychiatric facility or anything. BUT he IS defending himself saying the other kid jumped in front of him.
    The kids want to know if he will go to prison for this. I had to tell them I certainly could not even guess. I have been sitting in the courthouse across the street 2-4 days every month for almost 3 full years now- watching so many many cases come before the judges in criminal court, and there does not seem to me to be a lot of ryhme or reason. Our court system seems to send some people to jail or prison for some weird things and also seems to let some people go who have some seemingly pretty hefty ugly charges against them. BUT considering the boy who was driving this morning already is in court for a stabbing incident, I am gonna guess he is in a heap o trouble, boy. I would also assume he is GONNA be under some heavy scruitny and I would not be surprised if he gets tickets for jaywalking and spitting on sidewalk. Only thing he has in his favor is where the accident occured today, where he lives- they are not really "our" town----they are a very tiny little town, and their kids go to our schools, they use our police- if and when their is a problem, but they do not have patroling police there. so there are no police available to be watching him as if he would have if he lived here.

    Such a sad thing, 2nd one for the kids at PCs school this school year, and it makes the kids get divise at each other- blaming etc fingers pointing, people defending etc. Such a sad thing. More sad, this is like the 15th incident with kids from the area here.....but the majority of them involve the private HS kids here. THEY have had SEVERAL fatalities at THEIR school this year, so very sad. we are a small town. It is sad for everyone, and all the families and friends.
    Driving is such a serious responsibility. And it can be so unforgiving. I am so glad right now I still have not let my oldest get her license. She is not aggressive, but she can be impulsive. I just want to grab ALL the kids here right now and shake them and say SEEE SEE you MUST be SO careful!
  5. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    the boy has a broken neck and some spine damage in his back, they are going in now to do spinal surgery of some kind. PCs best friend, who saw the boy before he was airlifted (and before emergency vehicles arrived) talked to the boys mother. I think the best friend might have been on the scene lognger than the other kids becuz she just had a baby 5 days ago-and is not yet back in class from haveing her baby. She seems to be a liason between the injured boys mom and the other kids.
    It is just still sad.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So very sad-I'm sorry.
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    How awful dreamer. I feel for both families.

    When I got run over by the truck that was bad enough, but then we discovered it was one of easy child's friends from school. He hadn't had his license long, and awful part was his being overly careful caused it. The boy honestly didn't see me.

    I was physically devistated. He was mentally devistated. Both families worked together with it. We didn't mind helping his parents help him learn to deal with it. Took along time though.

    Since this is a small town we run into each other from time to time. easy child just gave me an update on him the other day. He's about to graduate from college with honors. A happy ending for a kid who was suicidal in the weeks following the accident.

    Some counseling for the kids might not be a bad idea. They've experienced alot of violent tragedy lately.

  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think Lisa has the right idea in suggesting counselling for all the kids.

    The driver will have to cope with this for the rest of his life - even if he were totally NOT at fault he would.

    Hugs to you , your scared kids (all of them - in the whole community!), and for the families involved.

  9. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Whatever the driver is saying or believes, the police will be able to work out what really happened, including the speed he was going. Here's hoping Brian is going to be OK and his spinal chord is intact.

    My nephew broke his neck in a football scrum, he couldn't move and they airlifted him first to the local hospital and then down to Sydney where they operated on him. I got in to see him a week after the accident, just in time to see them getting him out of bed for the first time and walking up the corridor. He was lucky because although the vertebrae in his neck were broken, his spinal chord was OK.

    Fingers crossed.

  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    You know we had a similar situation like this happen when I was in hs. The car with my friends in it had 3. The boy the woman and her fetus. They were getting married after graduation. Then the high school straight A student, kinda snobish always teachers pet - got drunk and left a party and killed our friends and the unborn baby.

    The school literally split. Lots of pointing, lots of threats. - Stupid mistakes are made every day. This was an accident that could have been avoided for sure. And now there is the possibility that Brian could pass away or be paralized for life. That is terribly unfortunate. The young man that hit Brian has already tried to end his life, which is also sad. But I wonder what kind of a person Brians friends think he is. Would he want them to keep throwing stones at the guy who hit him or would he say - "You know he's hurting too - let it go."

    The way people react to tragedy involving a friend speaks a lot about the character of that same friend. Brian doesn't sound like the kind of guy who would hold a grudge for anything. Not even possibly his life.

    I am sorry for your tragedy. I'm praying out of this comes an awakening for all the kids at the school. Life is precious and we never know when we're going to have to give ours up. Use your youth and your time wisely.

  11. dreamer

    dreamer New Member

    sadly it was Brian himself who was just 2 days prior, pointing fingers of blame at people involved in the previous crash.

    The kids are all trying to sort it out, trying to find that line where they do not hold onto the anger and blame so much, as try to forgive and help and be supportive. They are learning....it is a slow process, and sadly, they have already had far too many incidents to grow these life sklls of forgiveness, supportiveness etc. BUT yes, they do have divisive times, and difficult times in the process. All the kids do seem to be very aware that even the driver of the car needs something inside him, some tenderness, compassion etc, and the kids do seem to be aware the driver is most likely his own harshest judge. They were asking me before school this morning if there was any way they could help the driver, without upsetting the family of the hurt boy. They also are already considering a fundraiser to help financially with the injured boy and his family.
    Counseling is and always has been a big part of life for all my kids-----and for several of their friends, partly due to just how much they all already have experienced.....my kids friends and this area in general does seem to have given the kids so much on their plates already. ALl the kids here have suffered SO much loss. SO much devastation etc. I am grateful the kids do talk- do open up- do ask questions, do put their feelings out in the open so we all CAN work with them to try to help them come to terms with things.
    I do not have another update right now, but, I am hoping the surgery went well. The kids this morning were ALL subdued. Seems to match the weather today (dreary) I think every kid went and looked at the scene, and I had to go over to courthouse today, and even over there, the accident was a big topic of discussion.
  12. tammyjh

    tammyjh New Member

    Sending many many prayers