G'day, Kaz. A lot really depends on whether you've only recently acquired this or whether you've had it for a while but just not had a name for it.
My symptoms are similar to MS, but I've had it for 24 years. On and off to begin with, but fairly static for about 20 years. I still get worse at times, especially if I'm fighting a cold or similar. I need to rest a lot.
The thing is, if your child is used to you being disabled (and I don't shy away from the word - it can actually be empowering to embrace it) then they won't notice much difference except when you going here and there for tests and procedures. Just as difficult children adapt to whatever they're dealing with, so they adapt to anything else unusual in the home situation.
Example: I grew up on a small farm, part of a large family. My mother was disabled and I often had to step in to get dinner prepared, if my mum was back in hospital. Since I used to have to help a lot anyway, doing that bit extra wasn't really a huge deal. Of course I would grumble but I'd be pulled up sharp and told to do it for my mother.
My own kids - easy child was the only one who knew me when I was well. She was very resentful at times. The others just took me and my problems in their stride. I remember easy child 2/difficult child 2 when she was only two years old would pick up my crutches if I dropped them. When she later started school and had a classmate with cerebral palsy, she would do the same for him. I remember one day he was working near the classroom door and needed something from his schoolbag just outside so he began to crawl to the door. She saw it and ran to fetch his crutches for him, where they had been left beside the teacher's desk. Not asked, just saw the need.
My biggest handful now, difficult child 3, will look out for me. Sometimes the kids seem callous in their apparent lack of concern, but if they lived their lives in an aura of concern they would be stressed. It's more natural to just get on with life. I call it "Doing the best you can with what you've got."
I need to physically rest a great deal. I cannot exercise - my muscles simply stop working if I do too much and I have to wait until I can move again. I catnap a lot. difficult child 3 will wake me (he's not quiet enough) but I know if I deal with whatever is bugging him, sort it out then he will go back to whatever he was doing and I can nap again, if I haven't had enough for the moment.
I work in my bedroom. The phone is there; the TV; my laptop. I can hear the garden gate and I can see if anyone is walking up my driveway, so I rarely get caught by surprise. I CD at the desk although I could hook up to my laptop. So CD is forcing me to do more physically, within my limitations. I can still drive a car. I walk with crutches about 1 km or so, but much more than a few hundred metres I ride one of those "old folks" electric scooters. I've hippied it up. Same with my crutches - I didn't want them looking cold and surgical so they're covered with stickers and tassels.
If I were 100% fit I'd be in the full-time work force. I would not be available to help difficult child 3 with his schooling but instead would be forcing him to continue in mainstream ed. We'd have a lot more problems and I'd be struggling at work with all the time I would need off to attend meetings and appointments for him. Instead, I'm available as an advocate. The official I'm haranguing over the phone has no idea I'm lying on my bed in a darkened room. I take notes while on the phone and if I happen to be at my desk, the notes go straight into the computer diary.
By being organised as much as possible, by having a supportive family, we do OK. Probably better than OK. I know I can't expect it all my way so I do what I can to make it easier for the family. If I rest during the day I can cook dinner. Often several dinners, because different kids have different fads. But I've got a system in place so I'm not overdoing things. I plan my time and my energy. By cooking ahead and filling the freezer on good days, someone can always thaw out a good meal if I'm too ill to do anything. Right now husband is cooking dinner. It's just how it's worked out tonight; plus, I'm very tired. We have a houseful of appetites, with easy child 2/difficult child 2 and her boyfriend, plus us plus difficult child 3. Even when I'm tired, I have to plan early so I won't have a houseful of whining, hungry people. Keeping them well fed keeps my life calmer. (I have a recipe book I've developed if you're interested - I can pm it to you, or email it to you)
So - if you have support; if you've already had to slow down a lot anyway; if you can be/get organised even as you look after yourself; you can do it.
If this is a new change in your health, then be prepared for difficult child to be resentful. Any kid would be. If you have to send difficult child away, this could send a message of rejection. it's hard for a kid to not feel this. Do make sure you involve difficult child in the decision and the reasons for it. She has her own support system too, of sorts, even if it's just the tree in the garden.
Keep her informed and involved anyway, so she doesn't feel guilty or responsible inappropriately.
It can be done. Of course it would be easier without having kids to worry about, but in my case I think it's kept me more active and less self-absorbed than I would have become. Having a child who needs me gives me something positive to live for.
There are a lot of variables. I'm not in your body, I can't advise you what decision to make. But I would wait, if I were you, until situations become such that you need peace and quiet and she needs less upheaval. It really depends on too many things.
Marg