Hi Everyone, So yesterday I went to a funeral of a young woman who was a classmate of my sons.... and they were close when they were in 7th grade. She most likely died from a heroin overdose. It is such a tragedy. Meanwhile my son is in detox which is good, but its unclear where there will be a residential bed etc.... and he needs to get his stuff from the sober house... and it is all such a hassle and dang I am just so sick of this ride we are on. Like this time he really has to get it.... we cant keep doing this dance we keep doing...... and I am haunted by the death of this young woman. A couple of years ago some family friends who had dealt with serious addiction by their son for years and years (he got clean after 25 years of addiction) told me that sometimes you just do what you can to keep them alive. And I think about that. Right now I dont know where the balance is between saying we have done enough....and helping him stay alive. I really dont know how as a parent you deal with losing your child.... so so tragic..... My son tonight started talking about options.... and I told him straight out that we are not paying for anything that is loosey goosey....that he doesnt like structure, but needs structure. We let him do it his way with a sober house with more freedom and it didnt work... we are not doing that again. He commented that after a while the structure gets to him and he goes downhill.... and I said your pattern is to go downhill after a certain period of time anyways.... and you need to figure out what that is about and deal with it. We will only support a sober house with a lot of structure..... he accepted that but i really just dont know anymore. I am so thankful he is still alive....but really I hope he gets it this time and really stays sober and finds a job and starts supporting himself. I am not sure we can keep going through this.... and yet I just want him to stay alive.