The ONE time...(rant/vent)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by trinityroyal, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    My husband is a lovely man, and I have very little to complain about. Today, he's given me something.

    I have a meeting with my boss. The BIG boss. Starting in 2 minutes. My primary in-home helper is off writing exams this week, and my backup is off sick today. I asked husband to be home by 1 pm, so that I could prepare for the meeting. When I phoned at 1:05, he was still at his mother's house. ETA: 2:00 pm. When the meeting will be over.

    I never ask him for stuff like this. Now I remember why.

  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    And I don't suppose the children are with him, are they....???

    Oh, honey, I'm mad for ya....
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, wow...I'd be ticked, too.
  4. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Whew! Meeting is over.

    Thank GOD for Thomas the Tank Engine. And an understanding boss.
    I figured that I'd best come clean, so I just told him the situation at the beginning of the meeting. Turns out the boss's 2 1/2 year old daughter likes to crawl around under his desk when he's on teleconferences, so he understood my dilemma. And the kidwinks must have known I was under the gun. They sat and watched a Thomas DVD in the next room and didn't scream, cry or fuss once.

    husband came in the door about 1/2 hour ago, all apologies. He has been grovelling, and bringing me tea and chocolates. I think I'm gonna milk this...
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Dang right you milk that! For a week!!! lol
  6. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Yeah for Thomas the Train, understanding boss, and kids who are good at the right time. Glad it all worked out!
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Glad it all worked out. Milk it for all you can. Not just now. Remember this - you can get mileage out of this in the future too.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So glad it all worked out!!
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    How stressful! TG for an understanding boss!

    husband owes you big time...
  10. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    C'mon, you can get more than chocolates out of him for this!;) husband's!!!!!
  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    So, he's finding a sitter and you guys are going out to dinner, right? ;)
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Glad your boss was understanding!
  13. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    OK, what was husband's alibi? Because at a certain point, unless it was a medical emergency for his mother, he has to juggle his family obligations. And if the situation had been the other way around (you being with your mother while he had the kids but had to get to a vital work meeting) you can bet he would expect you to ring a friend or an alternate babysitter to come take over from him, so he could get to his meeting.

    If all he was doing at his mother's was chatting over a cup of tea, then you need to really sit down with him and ask him why he feels it is right to not support your work aspirations. Surely your work brings in valuable income? He needs to really think about how he feels about your working, and come clean. To himself as well as to you. He also has to really think about how deep is his commitment to supporting you in practical terms.

    Because even if he just plain forgot, it's still not good enough. If you don't want this to happen again, you need to work out why it happened this time, and to fix it.

  14. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Trinity, I would have been off the charts with this one. It really is disrespectful of your husband to act this way, ESPECIALLY since you are the primary breadwinner. Good grief! :919Mad:

    He owes you much more than tea and chocolates. It's lucky for him that you have a good boss.

  15. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Thanks Ladies! I always suspect that I'm overreacting to stuff like this. It's good to know that, if anything, my response was pretty mild.

    I think one of husband's biggest problems is a really bad sense of time. He was supposed to pick up his mother and bring her over here for a visit with the kidwinks. She's 86 and ill, so she doesn't move very quickly, and his delay was caused by helping her to get ready and trying to rein in difficult child (who is still staying with her). I had been trying to chase him out of the house all morning to pick her up, so that he would be back in good time. But he had a few things he "needed to do" (dishes, laundry, a job application)...stuff that could have waited until Nana was here corralling the grandkids. His misguided sense of priorities and how much time a given task will take caused yesterday's mess.

    Marg, Suz, you both make some good points. husband always talks about how much he supports my work and wants to take as much of the burden off me as he can, and 99% of the time he is supportive and helpful. But at the same time, he has a long-standing pattern of falling down on the job when it's something really important and I need him to be there. I wonder if there's anything behind that, as he doesn't let me down at any other time. Putting that at the top of the list for my next therapist appointment.
  16. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad it worked out OK. Everyone messes up now and then. But, it is disrespectful and he should at least be sure to recognize that.