hearts and roses
Mind Reader
I have had a very stressful few months. Since about the time my assistant went on disability end of July, things have really gone haywire at work. If she hadn't gone on disability, it wouldn't have been any less stressful, however, she would have been there for commisserate with me, lol. Anyway, we've fired and hired several employees and as the human resource person (among other jobs), the tasks invoved with firing and hiring fall into my lap, such as all the forms...my God, the forms! And the announcements to the market, setting up their computers, etc., with our IT team, tranferring of files, phone calls, etc. It's just a lot. We are also nearing year end when we have to get our books in order, go over fixed assets lists, do our end of year billing, get out our holiday letters and send out holiday gifts to our key clients. I do all that.
At home, easy child moved back home, things are going nicely with her, however, you know, it's an adjustment. difficult child, on the other hand, has pretty much moved in with her boyfriend, though she still comes by and wants to pay me half her rent so I'll reserve her room for her...lol. I miss her terribly, I cannot even tell you. She's been so wonderful and we've grown so close in recent months and I just miss her. H and I are on the rocks and I've had to readjust my plans for the future - don't know where I'll be in a year from now. I may still be here, but not really 'there'. Know what I mean?? So that's a stressor. And my dishwasher broke in July and guess who is the only one who seems to know how to wash dishes and empty the dishdrain? That's right, me. Neither easy child nor H wash the outsides of things so the insides of a glass may be clean but the outsides has grubby fingerprints all over it. And the inside of the pot may be clean, but there's sauce drippings down the sides. So I just do the dishes now. I just spent my last penny on a new dishwasher this weekend - I can't afford this so close to Christmas, but it was my gift to me, so tough boogers on everyone else. I should take a picture of it and put that in everyone's stocking this year.
The stuff with my mom is always playing in the background - it's been such a labor to get all the paperwork done to get her into a home, transport her, help her adjust and now we've gotten word that she will likely be moving up here to CT within a week or so, which means more darned paperwork and dealing with a governmental agency I'm not familiar with. I always get stuck with the paperwork in my family - because I know what I'm doing and because I actually do it. I may have to drive down to PA this Saturday...my back is going out just thinking of it.
I have two classes I'm taking and they entail a lot - A LOT - of reading and writing. It's a lot of new terminology for me and a lot of information to memorize. I am maintaining A's in both classes, but it's becoming a struggle with all these other demands on my life, predominantly, my TIME. I feel like I have no time for anything anymore! Each task or obligation just runs into the next on the list.
Taking the puppy to work with me on any other ordinary day would be nothing, but taking her with me for 3 days in a row is so draining on me. It's a pita. She's a needy dog. But no one else can take her. And my boss is nice enough to allow me - and once she's here, she's no bother, she sleeps all day. But the gathering up of her and her stuff in the morning - it just throws me off.
So, today I am at work, puppy in tow, and I have files that need billing, I have to send forms into the insurance companies for the new employees, I have to call the welfare office to submit the paperwork for my mom's Title 19 for the nursing home and so much more.
I discovered mice poop in my cabinets the other day and fell to pieces. That was my tipping point. I just started to cry and couldn't stop myself. easy child gave me the 'you're weird" look and I nearly came at her with the frying pan. difficult child asked me if I wanted to talk about it. Really. what I was thinking was that I wanted to go to the airport and take the first flight out to anywhere - one way.
I bought traps for the stupid mice....I caught one mouse and the trap broke. And on the other one, the mice were able to get in it, lick the peanut butter and get out, but not without leaving their filthy poop all over my cabinet. I just sometimes feel like I want to burn the house to the ground and start all over.
My entire family is coming for Christmas this year and I'm happy about that. Now I just hope I get a decent bonus this year to help pay for all the food. I'm giving out assignments - is that wrong? As in each person must bring something? I don't think that's harsh. Also, H's parents may come stay as well, which I could do without, but they will be outnumbered by my family so I don't even care.
Really, that's how I feel...like I don't even care anymore. This morning, I had to leave the pup in the car while I went to get my coffee and I had this flash of a thought that she may pee on the passenger seat and immediately following that first thought, I though, "Oh, well, it'll dry". That is NOT me. That is NOT how I normally would react to that scenario. I'm not me anymore. I'm at my tipping point and it scares me a little bit...in a freakish way, I wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch it all go down....omg. I've lost it.
And if we do have to go get my mom this Saturday, I will have to spend another $126 at the Hampton Inn for the night because I can't stay at my sister's house because she's got 3 cats. This sister has always hated cats and shouldn't even own animals...I just don't get it.
Okay, vent over. Anyone else at their tipping point? I could use some company.
At home, easy child moved back home, things are going nicely with her, however, you know, it's an adjustment. difficult child, on the other hand, has pretty much moved in with her boyfriend, though she still comes by and wants to pay me half her rent so I'll reserve her room for her...lol. I miss her terribly, I cannot even tell you. She's been so wonderful and we've grown so close in recent months and I just miss her. H and I are on the rocks and I've had to readjust my plans for the future - don't know where I'll be in a year from now. I may still be here, but not really 'there'. Know what I mean?? So that's a stressor. And my dishwasher broke in July and guess who is the only one who seems to know how to wash dishes and empty the dishdrain? That's right, me. Neither easy child nor H wash the outsides of things so the insides of a glass may be clean but the outsides has grubby fingerprints all over it. And the inside of the pot may be clean, but there's sauce drippings down the sides. So I just do the dishes now. I just spent my last penny on a new dishwasher this weekend - I can't afford this so close to Christmas, but it was my gift to me, so tough boogers on everyone else. I should take a picture of it and put that in everyone's stocking this year.
The stuff with my mom is always playing in the background - it's been such a labor to get all the paperwork done to get her into a home, transport her, help her adjust and now we've gotten word that she will likely be moving up here to CT within a week or so, which means more darned paperwork and dealing with a governmental agency I'm not familiar with. I always get stuck with the paperwork in my family - because I know what I'm doing and because I actually do it. I may have to drive down to PA this Saturday...my back is going out just thinking of it.
I have two classes I'm taking and they entail a lot - A LOT - of reading and writing. It's a lot of new terminology for me and a lot of information to memorize. I am maintaining A's in both classes, but it's becoming a struggle with all these other demands on my life, predominantly, my TIME. I feel like I have no time for anything anymore! Each task or obligation just runs into the next on the list.
Taking the puppy to work with me on any other ordinary day would be nothing, but taking her with me for 3 days in a row is so draining on me. It's a pita. She's a needy dog. But no one else can take her. And my boss is nice enough to allow me - and once she's here, she's no bother, she sleeps all day. But the gathering up of her and her stuff in the morning - it just throws me off.
So, today I am at work, puppy in tow, and I have files that need billing, I have to send forms into the insurance companies for the new employees, I have to call the welfare office to submit the paperwork for my mom's Title 19 for the nursing home and so much more.
I discovered mice poop in my cabinets the other day and fell to pieces. That was my tipping point. I just started to cry and couldn't stop myself. easy child gave me the 'you're weird" look and I nearly came at her with the frying pan. difficult child asked me if I wanted to talk about it. Really. what I was thinking was that I wanted to go to the airport and take the first flight out to anywhere - one way.
I bought traps for the stupid mice....I caught one mouse and the trap broke. And on the other one, the mice were able to get in it, lick the peanut butter and get out, but not without leaving their filthy poop all over my cabinet. I just sometimes feel like I want to burn the house to the ground and start all over.
My entire family is coming for Christmas this year and I'm happy about that. Now I just hope I get a decent bonus this year to help pay for all the food. I'm giving out assignments - is that wrong? As in each person must bring something? I don't think that's harsh. Also, H's parents may come stay as well, which I could do without, but they will be outnumbered by my family so I don't even care.
Really, that's how I feel...like I don't even care anymore. This morning, I had to leave the pup in the car while I went to get my coffee and I had this flash of a thought that she may pee on the passenger seat and immediately following that first thought, I though, "Oh, well, it'll dry". That is NOT me. That is NOT how I normally would react to that scenario. I'm not me anymore. I'm at my tipping point and it scares me a little bit...in a freakish way, I wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch it all go down....omg. I've lost it.
And if we do have to go get my mom this Saturday, I will have to spend another $126 at the Hampton Inn for the night because I can't stay at my sister's house because she's got 3 cats. This sister has always hated cats and shouldn't even own animals...I just don't get it.
Okay, vent over. Anyone else at their tipping point? I could use some company.