The Update.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by AnnieO, Nov 16, 2017.

  1. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I rarely have time to get on here unless I have a down bit at work, and that's not been the case in the last month! So finally, here is that update I mentioned. Trigger warning, this does have to do with firearms.

    Let me preface this by saying that Bill has lent Wyatt a LOT of tools, expensive and not so much, over the last year plus. Every time we would ask for them back, he and/or Belle would promise to do so and then forget. Repeatedly.

    Back in September, Bill's (very expensive) chain saw went missing, At first he thought he left it at my parents' after helping them out, but I remembered bringing it home. I suspected Wyatt, but I really had no reason to... And no proof.

    And then... And then. On Columbus Day, since we were off and Rose had school, Bill and I were going to go to the range. I had received a small .22 pistol that I wanted to practice with, back in August... I'd never had a chance to use it. As Bill is former military, firearms are a part of our lives, and yes, we are safe with them. Anyway, I picked up the case for it and it was too light. My immediate reaction was that perhaps Bill had taken it out to clean it. But he was picking up the case for his 9 mm and had a similar expression on his face that immediately turned, in both of us, to a horrible sinking feeling in the stomach. After some digging (we do not have a gun safe, but we keep them locked, out of reach and away from ammunition), we discovered that his old 45 (cracked, so nonworking, but even I didn't know that till the police came), and my .22 rifle were also missing. His daily use 45 and 380, kept in front of the nonworking 45, were not touched. Neither were the broken hunting shotgun or kids' old .22 rifle - also broken - and neither of which LOOKED broken. Basically, that meant it had to be someone who knew what Bill carries regularly - so it wouldn't be noticed right away - and what would get money on the street. No sign of a break in. No jewelry missing. Later we realized that Rose's coin jar was also missing, and more tools that had NOT been lent out.

    At first, Belle and Wyatt were nonchalant... Then Belle came unhinged and started blaming anyone (everyone) else. Telling a mutual friend how I never loved her and Pat, and this was my way of getting back at them. Belle pointed fingers at people who didn't even know what firearms I owned - much less Bill, since the 9 was new. And Rose's coin jar, but not mine or Bill's (his is right next to the place he keeps the daily use ones)... NO jewelry.

    The police checked pawn shops. The guns were not pawned - BUT that's not a surprise, they would get far more on the street.

    The day we left on vacation - which Belle knew - she texted Bill to tell him all the tools they borrowed were on their porch, that they had been evicted, and he needed to come get them, that they would not be there but would leave them for us. We were on the way to Cincinnati, so we asked a trusted friend to get them, knowing all the while that most would be missing. (Of course there were only a few things there.) They then ran out of state.

    While on vacation, Bill got a call from the detective, who said that Wyatt and Belle had pawned a LOT of tools, and could he come in and verify what might be his? Of course he could not, not until we returned, but a couple of items stuck out like sore thumbs.

    When we got back, Bill texted Belle and asked where the rest of the tools were. She told him that they were there, they had had to make a path to walk by them. (Interesting, since the friend video recorded getting out of his truck and walking up... No, they were NOT.) Asked her about some specific items and she swore they were there. The items that had stuck out... One of which was pawned weeks before in her name, the other in Wyatt's.

    We spent an afternoon going round to pawn shops and retrieving what we could. The list of items pawned, not including firearms, puts Wyatt at felony theft level.

    Bill then cut off Belle's cell phone. She called him immediately, screaming at him about how she "put up with him because she didn't want to lose him like her mother" and that obviously he had stolen the items (his own property) to blame her. Or maybe it was this person or that person. Her behavior was exactly, to the last dotted it, the same as when she was using.

    Bill is done. I am done. Rose isn't old enough to understand that some things, you just can't say "sorry" and be finished with... She misses her sister and nephew. But... After what she has done, time and again, and has been forgiven for... I can't blame Bill one bit. We're still noticing missing items.

    I will likely never see my grandchildren, unless CPS takes over and I end up raising them. But... Right now... I cannot, and will not, make nice with Belle just for that. I cannot trust her, not one iota. I thought she was a flake... Not a flake. A thief and a liar.

    I'm very sad... I really thought she had changed. But the more I look back, the more I realize... the two of them sure moved around a lot... 12 places in 2 1/2 years. One employer sent me a facebook message about them stealing... Wyatt's mother kicked them out because they stole... HMMMMMM.
     
  2. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Oh Annie...I'm SO sorry! How heart-breaking. Jabber's guns were the one thing we'd have pressed charges over. It's been well over a year since our son stole anything and I swear we're still finding stuff missing. We refer to the items missing from him, and young lady we were helping before him, as "the purge". "Do you know where the saw is?" "No, it's possible it didn't make it thru the purge."

    There's nothing more heart-breaking than this. No betrayal worse. I'd have rather mine had set the house on fire...really. To take stuff and pretend they didn't and lie and lie and lie. Hell, DS actually helped us look for stuff. :(

    Hang in there. :group-hug:
     
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    Last edited: Nov 16, 2017
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Annie, I am so very sorry. You and Bill did your very best. I remember all you have done from when you first came here. Sadly I think all those years with birthmom, and perhaps ingesting alcohol in utero, made your good deeds not as helpful as they would have been if the kids had not suffered with crazy birthmom.
    Stealing guns is scary, even if they are only to sell. You are do wise, and Bill too, to protect little Rose.
    Hang in there. You are not one bit responsible for this. You gave them your heart. You gave them all anyone could. Bill too.Now I give you mucho cyber hugs.
     
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  4. so ready to live

    so ready to live Active Member

    Hi Annie. So sorry. To be hopeful and then to not only have that dashed but to be taken advantage of too, is way too much for any of us. We too have had "the purge" at our home (thx Lil).
    The good thing for us was to finally have clarity--we didn't lose things, didn't spend the cash, etc. There was a certain strength in that information. Not only was he confirmed beyond my doubts to be worse than I thought, I was confirmed to be "not so crazy" myself. I've always wanted to know what I'm dealing with upfront, then I can handle it. So...like finding the short straw and pills in his room, there was indisputable evidence. That hurts so very much but keeps the mom in me honest. You and hubs have gone over and above in every respect. Hold tight. You got this.
     
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  5. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost On the road unwanted to travel

    AnnieO
    You have been at this far longer than I. Reading your post opens up s flood gate of tears for me. Some for you and some for me.

    The Gaslighting, the manipulation, lies and deciept. It’s so damaging to our souls.

    You are not alone. I hope one day your Grans will be unites with you. I hope Rose grows to understand what amazing parents you are and how much you cared and tried.

    Great big hugs to you.
    :grouphug:
     
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  6. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    I’m so sorry to hear your update, Annie O, so similar to so many others. The theft is heartbreaking; the indignation when we hold them responsible is surreal and baffling. Do they even believe the %#^+ that comes out of their own mouths at times like that?!
     
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Thanks everyone... Last night we discovered yet another missing item. Antique... Belonged to Bill's Great-Grandfather... Double barreled shotgun. It was in a COMPLETELY different and secure location. So they had to have scouted out the house and found everything. Which makes me feel even worse, because it's like being violated all over again... And who knows what else they found and took?! I might never know.

    To add insult to injury... Insurance says if we file another claim this year they will probably drop us. Agent is not happy, as I have been his customer for 27 years and my parents 30. But with the garage fire in February, Bill having to have his windshield replaced in June, and this...

    Interestingly... When we discovered Rose's coin jar missing... After she calmed down about not being able to go on vacation... She told me she knew Belle had taken it because she always talked about money. Before she knew they had taken anything else, she knew it was Belle. Kid's way too smart for her own good and I am hurting for her that she has to learn this lesson so early.
     
  8. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Just noticed this update.....

    Have you heard from Belle since this happened?