They are getting ready to discharge difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Dec 22, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    psychiatrist from psychiatric hospital just called. He sayd difficult child is very pleasant and happy and respectful (difficult child wants out). psychiatrist says difficult child is very bright and probably a lot of his problem is being bored. ( That may be but he still has a mood disorder that isn't helping matters any.) He says he does see depression and anxiety and that he might have a little adhd (I hear that almost every time difficult child isn't stable and never hear it when he is stable). He says maybe regular psychiatrist should consider adding strattera for adhd and anxiety. (Yep- why not just dump every medication there is on him.) Urghhh- he said he's discharged. I asked if he minded if it took me until 4:00-5:00 to get there. He said that's ok. I was getting ready to change clothes and go camp out at soc services office.
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2008
  2. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Frustrating, to say the least!!! Don't you just hate the hospitals? They discharge these kids way too soon!!! The kids manipulate the staff and docs to get out of there. They should know that better than we do. Anytime my daughter was in the hospital with the exception of one 8 week stay, she was only in for 7-10 days. What do they expect will change within that time period? I think if they are going to add medications the child should stay in the hospital until the medications reach therapeutic levels. That way they can monitor the side effects and see if the medication actually works for that child. But lets not forget about those greedy little hmos who charge you an arm and a leg for the coverage, yet pays for nothing!!! Ain't life grand?!?!

    Good luck. Let us know how it goes when he gets home. Keeping my finger's crossed that the transition goes smoothly.

    p.s. thanks for your support on my thread. :)
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Yeah...I guess I didn't do too well with my plan to refuse to pick him up. See, Bran, I don't think I have the backbone that you do.LOL!
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Is there a discharge plan -- say, with any support for you and difficult child at home?

    Strattera -- ugh!

    Hang in there. We're here for you.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Im not even mentioning strattera to psychiatrist. The discharge plan, toher than regular appts with therapist and psychiatrist is for me to apply for the medicaid waiver and try to get sd to refer to county team for additional supports. If I get the medicaid waiver, we might not even neem the team, but just in case, it's a plan. If the sd won't refer it, I'll have to get therapist's backing and go thru PO.

    Does that sound exactly like the plan I had before he went into psychiatric hospital? There is a reason for that- THEY HAD NO OTHER IDEAS OR RESOURCES!! Sigh...
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry they didnot/could not find any other ways to help. In our area a stay at a psychiatric hospital is usually3-4 days, often less. A 7 day stay is considered extreme in most areas.

    I am hoping that you can get the medicaid, or whatever, and maybe SSI for him.

    If at all possible have the phos make the appts. Usually I have been told that the p;an is for ME to go make the appts, and they want him seen x times per week starting asap. Andof course even if we HAVE appts, they are not as frequent as needed, and can't be worked into the schedule. The docs are a LOT more flexible if the psychiatric hospital calls to make appts.

  7. I'm so sorry they are discharging him too soon. It is so frustrating! Good luck on your plans that you are trying to implement.

  8. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Oh, crud! HUGS
  9. JLady

    JLady A ship lost in the night

    Sending thoughts of support your way. Hang on tight. you can get through this. Vent here when you need to.
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Oh, no! I'm sorry they're discharging him so soon, and especially without having a real plan in place. Fingers crossed that social services cooperated with you, and you'll have something set up before you pick him up.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I could never reach anyone on the phone at social services- so I went down there and told them I needed to speaak to someone about the waiver, applying for disability and getting help in general. She gave me a thick application to complete, so I completed it there and took it back up to the window. Then she said that I would receive a letter from a social worker. (Now mind you- on this application, I checked off emergency services needed, income was not covering bills and would decrease more over the next 30 days, child has disability and needs additional medical services, and that yes I did want to speak with a social worker, etc). Anyway, I asked if the letter would be a denial or acceptance letter or a letter with instructions or what and she said she didn't know. I told her the waiver was a state waiver and I was supposed to get interviewed and processed with a social worker prior to determination and she said she knew but didn't know how they went about it, she just knew I'd get a letter. I asked how long I could expect to wait on that letter and she said she didn't know. I hate to think what qualifies as an emergency to them.

    So, difficult child and I are home. He's eating an orange and he's going to help me get dinner in the oven then take a shower and work on the Christmas tree that he started and wanted to finish.

    I'm still mumbling under my breath about the principal. I'm trying to line up an advocate. I swear, this is a full time job in itself.

    The way this whole discharge came about today- well, sw called and we discussed the things I wrote before. Then she said she wasn't sure when difficult child's discharge might be because psychiatrist hadn't come to the wing yet to check on patients. She said she or psychiatrist would probably call me after he checked on difficult child today. Then, about an hour later, psychiatrist calls and says difficult child is standing right next to him smiling and that he's ready to come home and he's been doing so well that he's discharging him. I just didn't have the heart to say that I'm not coming to pick him up. My son would have known- he was standing right there. I guess I better thicken my warrior skin a whole lot over the next few years, huh?
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2008
  12. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I hate dealing with Social Services. The people that work there are just idiots and treat you like dirt!!! Everything takes soooo long and you constantly have to go back and bring more and more and more paper work.

    I don't know if this would apply to you but I will share with you how I got my daughter on Medicaid. We had private insurance, she went into the hospital, after about 7 days the insurance company said enough. Even though the doctors and staff felt she was not ready to be discharged, the hmo just did not care. She even threatened suicide!!! After fighting with the hmo, hours on the phone and many cups of coffee later, I lose. Shocker!!! So, the hospital said they can help get her Medicaid. If I left her in the hospital for 30 days then Medicaid would pick her up. So I had to sign a consent form agreeing to leave her inpatient for at minimum 30 days. I did so, all I had to do was fill out an application at the hospital and they got me the Medicaid. If your son goes back into the hospital again ask them if they do this. That was the longest hospitalization she has ever had. But now that she has Medicaid, everything is much easier. Not only on my pockets but also what is covered. I don't need referrals for anything. I have no co-pays and when she does go to the hospital they aren't rushing her out the door. Worth a try.

    I just wanted to share that with you. I'm glad your son is doing well at home so far. Knock on wood!!! Enjoy trimming the tree. Keeping my finger's crossed that you have good days ahead. God bless. :)
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thanks, Bran!! That could help a lot in the future! I don't know if this psychiatric hospital would do it but we do have another near me. I haven't been able to get difficult child in it in the past, but that was due to his legal situation. He might be able to get in it once he's off probation and I'm sure they would be able to do the medicaid route.

    It is a shame that people have to learn strategies and "tricks" to get their kids help. It's supposed to be the safety net that provides the path, but HA! That's one of my issues with our county mental health, and it has a reputation around here- they aren't used to dealing with warrior moms/dads, so they aren't really held accountable and they just intimidate people into thinking that if their method doesn't work, then it must be the family's fault. Never mind that their method is basicly to do nothing substantial. And the poor families that end up believing is pitiful.

    One thing I have to say that shocked me- when difficult child started coming back to the house Thurs. evening, he saw the cops here. He knew I'd called them- because I told him I would- and difficult child is on probation. I was shocked that he still came into the yard and spoke with them rather than running.
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2008
  14. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Good for him for stepping up. More than I can say for my daughter!!

    I know how frustrating this struggle is. And you are so right these people are not used to dealing with parents that actually care. These deadbeats are making it much harder on us warrior parents. The state sued me for child support, I told them I could not afford it. They did not care. They sued me because I am not on welfare and figured since I am not getting any assistance that I can afford to pay. NOT!!! The judge told me if I could prove that I have been there for my daughter and that she is not in this situation due to choices that I made then I would not have to pay. So I did, I brought in numerous documents, letters from the SD, my SW, I even wrote my congresswoman a letter requesting help, I brought that too. Didn't work, I am in arrears of almost $4,000. I understand where they are coming from. They are tired of picking up the slack for these drug addicted deadbeat parents who caused their children to end up in the system. But that is just not fair to parents like us who did the right thing. I even appealed it and lost!!! It really ticks me off. If I was a crackhead at home collecting money and food stamps from the state and getting all of my bills paid then I wouldn't have to pay the child support. Makes no sense!!!!

    Sorry, I got going there and couldn't stop. I am still so angry about how that went down. The system needs to be revamped big time.
  15. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh you aren't kidding- gal and po presented things to judge once like I wasn't doing enough for difficult child. Heck- no one else had done anything. I had neuropsychologist testing done privately and got difficult child on an iep- the sd never suggested or did anything that I didn't push for, I had difficult child evaluated by a psychiatrist and he had seen several tdocs- some individually, some I went to with him as family therapy asking what I could do. But I wasn't doing enough? Oh- what about dear old dad? Well- that doesn't count. Why? Becuase he never stepped up to the plate to claim paternity and I didn't spend my money going after him instead of using it for difficult child's care and I'm not on state aid which makes the state go after him. So- never mind that he has done NOTHING- I haven't done enough. Yep- that's a soapbox I could stay on all day!
  16. Jena

    Jena New Member

    klmno sorry i'm late to this. just got in now and saw this. Just wanted to jump in and say i'm sorry you had to struggle through that. I'm glad your both home.

  17. ML

    ML Guest

    Thinking of you sweetie xo ML
  18. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Thank you all! He was fine tonight- showered, decorated tree, ate, snuggled with dogs, brushed teeth, worked a soduku puzzle, and went to sleep. He asked for computer time but I told him no. He didn't fuss. Yeah- this will probably last until tomorrow! There's the fine line here- he's 13 yo and he's my son. yet, he's pretty high maintenance and I don't know how safe and trouble free I'm able to keep him- especially without supports. Still- he is my son.
  20. Transparent

    Transparent New Member

    I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say but I do want to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your difficult child. I hope he remains good through the holiday for the both of you.