I have a 24 year old son. He has been through a lot and i’m at a loss and not sure what to do anymore. Where to start...bare with me on the cycle that leads up to now. And time frame might be off here and there by couple years but hopefully you can see some pattern. Normal early childhood, exceeded in head start and kindergarten but while in 1st grade they said he had ADHD and he needed to be held back and repeat 1st grade which we did. Started him on ADHD medication (not sure but believe Concerta). This medication made him a zombie and daze. He was to me a typical boy at the age, yeah maybe hyper, etc. Anyways when he was about 7-8 I left his mother and eventually divorced her in 2003. I ensured I got my kids (3 total including him two daughters and him) every other weekend if not every other weekend. His mother than moved like 4-5 times that following year and each time the kids had to start a different school. Then his mother started dating a guy and over the months or within 1st year him and my son didn’t get along. He came home from school one day and his mom had all his belongings boxed up on front porch and he asked “Mom what’s all this on the porch”? His mother told him that is all your stuff you no longer can stay here anymore. I wasn’t setup yet to take him in to live with me so he went and lived with his moms mom and dad (his grandma and grandpa who was an alcoholic). I then started dating a lady and started living with her. She had one son. Probably after two years he started living with me and my girlfriend when he was in 6-7th grade. It was a struggle, it would take hours to get him to focus and get his homework done. I was always being called to school for disruptive behavior. Then girlfriend and son went to live in basement to isolate themselves from us. My son said to me “Dad how come they don’t want me here” I said son it’s not you, they don’t want me here either so we left, I went to live in my moms basement and and he went back to his grandmas, because his school was now in another county and I couldn’t get him there. And there were no good schools around my mom that I felt comfortable enough putting him in that had the special learning program (can’t remember what they call this program in school). Then once I got an apartment I had him comeback and live with me that summer (6 months later) and enrolled him the best school in area (now 8th grade I believe). But I was working afternoons and nights. It was hard for me to give him the time and attention he needed to succeed. He wasn’t doing his home work and I couldn’t afford a tutor, even though he was getting extra help at school, and when he did the school work he was getting passing grades, it was just when he turned in homework he didn’t do or lie to me and say he didn’t have any and leave his homework at school. And again I was getting called into school for his behaviors and grades. He couldn’t get himself up for school, I had to leave work early to ensure he was awake. Sometimes I couldn’t make it home and he would miss his buss or he would still be asleep when I got home, Or when I called him he said he was awake but would go back to sleep. So sometime during school year he wanted to go back to live with his grandma because he was afraid he wouldn’t pass 8th grade and wouldn’t make it in to highscool, so he went back to live with his grandma (which is a very rural country town in KY where nearest Walmart was hour a way and they were about 5-10 miles from any business/restaurants, etc. So he made it through 8th grade and started freshman HS. He was doing ok somewhat passing when he wanted to come back and live with me over Christmas break. I enrolled him in private all boy HS because other alternative was probably worse public school in city and he would probably get killed. Again doing ok when he actually did the work (but now wondering if he just wasn’t copying someone else’s work). But at spring break he told me dad “since when did they start putting letters in with #’s, (algebra class I.E 2x + 3y = 20). This is when I realized that by going to so many different schools that he just got lost In the transition, as each school didn’t pick up where last school was at I.E school A might be teaching A,B,C, and D but his new school was at L,M,N,O, and P so he didn’t know there was an E, F,G,H,I,J, and K). So at that point I pulled him out of school and we worked on getting his GED which he received at 16/17 years old. Now during all the times that he lived with me, we have been to numerous therapists and counselors and he’s been on every type of ADHD medication off and on but nothing seemed to help, he either wouldn’t talk with the therapist he would just sit there and say everything is fine or he get mad. Over theses years he developed anger and anxiety issues. Started hanging with bad people, started doing marijuana, huffing A/C Freon, got caught stealing from Walmart. So now he’s 16/17 years old. I’m still working swing shifts, (afternoon/nights/weekend). I’ve started dating a lady. So during my free time i’d Either ask hey you want to go over to my girlfriend house with me or I’d say you care if I go over to my girlfriend house tonight and the answer was always naw go ahead. I’d even say if you don’t want me to go I’ll stay here and we could hang out, and he was like no you go ahead. So I did. Well after two years of this I moved out of house I was renting and got me an apartment in same complex as girlfriend just right above her. So we moved over there. Basically I stayed downstairs with girlfriend and son stayed upstairs with now his older sister (4-5 years older). Son got a job over the summer, I bought him a car and he started dating a girl. Around Christmas he told me he was going to move in with his girlfriend and her mom, and I said are you sure, because my lease is about to be up and I’m not going to renew my lease and said yeah I’m sure. So I didn’t renew my lease and just lived with my girlfriend. Well within that month him and his girlfriend broke up and since my girlfriend didn’t have room in the apartment he went back to his grandmas. After the next several months to year he got arrested for paraphernalia, his car engine blew up. I couldn’t afford to pay for his car but paid for his lawyer. He ended up getting probation. Well he couldn’t stay clean during his probation failing drug test and again getting arrested for marijuana. He ended up doing 90 days in jail. After getting out and running with wrong crowd and being strung out on who knows what drugs, he called me and said he was going to commit suicide. So I drove an 1.5 hours to get him and take him to psychiatric hospital. After waiting about 6-8 hours to see him, he had calmed down and when they asked him about killing himself naw i’m good I was just being stupid. So they released him. As we were driving him back to his grandmas, as we dropped him off he just looked sad and girlfriend was like get him back in truck he can live with us. He said ok so he came to live with us around Xmas time. (He’s around 20/21 at the time). He ended up getting job, we ended up going to depression group session togethers. He was seeing therapist and psychiatrist, was on medication. Things were looking up even though he was very combative, argumentative, manipulative, had paranoia, staying up all hours of the night and hanging out all the time in the garage, sleeping all day, anger outbreaks. I knew he was up to no good but couldn’t find actual proof, just his behavior. He wouldn’t take his medication regularly. He’s take it regularly for a week then miss couple days, etc. Till one day he snapped and we got into argument and he said you don’t want me hear I’m leaving, and I said that’s not true I don’t want that attitude here and if you leave that’s your choice. He called someone and got a ride. (Not realizing it was his sister and her boyfriend that came and picked him up and as he was leaving he said I’m going to slit your throat and burn the house down with everyone it. So when I realized it was his sister who picked him up, I told her he can know longer come back here and live with us know more and if you don’t want him there then take him to a shelter. He stayed there probably a month until they couldn’t put up with his anger and destructive behavior that his mom took home to rehab place in Florida (Centerstone I believe). He agreed to it at the time. He stayed there about 90 days and said he learned a lot and was healed and ready to come home. I told him he wasn’t ready and he needed to stay longer but he didn’t listen and took a bus home. He went back and stayed with his grandma and grandpa and was staying in an RV camper on their property. He seemed happy, but what few and far between job opportunities are out there he couldn’t keep a job. He couldn’t handle the stress of the jobs or being around people caused anxiety and anger so he would lose his jobs. Plus his grandma doesn’t have a vehicle and his grandpa is not a nice person. Their is no cell phone service either. Then couple months ago, his sister asked him to come live with her this past June/July because her boyfriend was being mentally abusive and she was scared for her and her two children (that’s a whole another story). He really seemed like he has been trying to get his life back on track he just doesn’t have the tools or know how and know which direction or path to take. He has no vehicle, anxiety, and anger issues, it’s like he is at everyone’s mercy and feels like no one wants him, but he gets mad and believes everyone should respect him and that he is entitled and deserving. So just yesterday CPS was called on my daughter and they searched the place and found paraphernalia and her and her boyfriend blamed it on my son (even though her boyfriend and her both smoke marijuana) so CPS said my son had to leave or their going to take the children, (my grandchildren). So I’m letting him stay with us as of today but he has already thrown an outrage and been demanding saying he deserves respect.