Must be so hard. I had left the one time husband went drinking. He was only gone for a few hours, but he is such a mean drunk. Very mean and I cannot be in the same house as him.

sorry things are so rough. I have run the same $'s through my head. I MAY be able to do it, but it would be VERY tough. Don't know if I could. And there is no possible way husband could even afford a Studio apt.

My husband has chosen the couch for many years.


New Member
Oh hun!

I'm glad you've got the Lexapro kickin' in for you. But, I'm sorry that things are so rough with husband. :frown: Sending you strength. :::hugs:::


Active Member
Oh Girl...........Big hugs! It is so tough!

I know you can do it though. It will hard at first, but you can do it. It only seems daunting on paper, once you are in the trenches, you make it work. Take strength from all of the other single moms on this board that have been there done that - we are behind you, and believe in you.


New Member
To be brutal, we can always make excuses to stay. Oddly, while most women are in dire straits the first 12 months of a separation, they are usually better off from that point forward. It may be hard financially, but is it worth sticking around for a child to learn that being abusive or being a drunk are acceptable ways of behaving? How do you measure that cost?

I had a friend who left her wealthy husband and ended up in a homeless shelter with three children for the first two months after she ran away. She is now a successful business woman in her own right (with some help from government grants). She waited too long. Her son learned that as long as he paid the bills he had the right to be verbally and physically abusive to any woman. Her eldest daughter pretty much takes whatever her husband dishes out. Her youngest daughter stands up for herself. She lets no one bully her. She was 4 when my friend left her husband. The other two were 12 and 14.

Sorry, this is my own personal soapbox. I used to work at a woman's shelter. It takes courage to leave. It takes courage to not return. The rewards of leaving, however, far outweigh the benefits of staying, no matter how difficult it would be financially at first.


Well-Known Member
You can do it.
Once husband's dad dies, and husband gets his next DUI, you can change the locks and be done with-it. You could do it b4 then, but you'd feel guilty, I bet.
In the meantime, sleep on that couch, take that Lexapro, and be good to yourself.


Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Iana-Sorry for your rough week-sorry to hear father in law has passed away. Just a note about the Special Education department not returning calls. I know in the district I work in there wouldn't be anyone there to get a message at this point but I would think the principal should get back to you to let you know that.


Active Member
Sorry for your father in law's death. As I have said before, despite our relationship with a parent, it is never easy when they pass. I will be hoping husband is able to keep himself pieced together through it all.


Well-Known Member
So sorry about your F-I-L. At least he is out of pain. Will your husband be making any arrangements or does he have brothers and sisters who will?
As you said, we'll see how he behaves...
Stay strong.