TKD an update

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Christy, Jun 26, 2008.

  1. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I posted last week about my son switching to a much stricter tae kwon do school with smaller class sizes and a more intimidating instructor. He just did his own thing, acted out, and goofed around at his old school. He graduated from belt to belt but never learned how to do the moves correctly or gained any of the self-descipline that martial arts instruction promises.

    Yesterday was his fourth lesson. The first two, he acted out and was disruptive and the instructor really tried to get the "I'm in charge here" message across to my son. My son continued to push back and ended up doing push ups and working on his kicks on a bag by himself. The third lesson he sat down to do stretches and ripped his pants! Not his fault but still very distracting. It took him awhile to get back on track but the class was better on a difficult child scale. The fourth class, his pants rip again! He has trouble balancing but tends to overexagerate this by flailing his arms aound and falling dramatically. The instructor was on him alot about keeping his guards up and keeping his feet properly spaced. difficult child argued with him and the instructor stayed on him about it. I could see difficult child was getting worked up and I have never really seen him to the point of tears over something frustrating, usually he reacts with anger. And after a few exchanges back and forth between them, difficult child yells, "I quit" and runs out of the school. The instructor just looks at me and says, "sorry." I chase after difficult child who is now in tears. We talk in the car and I tell him how I understand that he was frustrated, and I know it is hard, but it is still important to try. I convinced him to try it again next week and ordered him some heavy duty pants online (the uniforms are really cheap and I think that is part of the ripping problem). I call the instructor and he acts like it was no big deal. I ask him if since he has had the opportunity to experience difficult child does he feel it's a good fit? He says that HE doesn't give up. I am a little annoyed by this comment but let this go. I told him that I talked to difficult child and he is willing to try again but that I can't have him running out of the building. He needed to talk to difficult child and tell him that he can take a break when he starts to feel stressed out. He also acknowleged that he may have been pushed difficult child too hard and will try to approach things differently.

    This tends to be a problem difficult child gets himself into alot. He is so challenging with his behaviors that when he is actually struggling, people do not see it.

    So we will try it again next week and continue to hope for the best.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Well, it sounds like the instructor is willing to work with difficult child including modifying his practices, but not let difficult child get away with garbage.

    I would keep trying the school.
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I had a rule that whatever activity was tried, it had to be continued for six months. That way, any fussing of "I want to quit" was answered with "it hasn't been six months yet." Don't know about your son, but Miss KT was great for wanting out anytime things got tough, and I felt she needed to learn to work through things, even if I had to force her to do it. Her Sensei made the kids do push-ups for saying "yeah" to a black belt. It was "yes, sir" or "yes, ma'am", or you would drop and give him 20. That was the discipline and respect she needed. I just wish those lessons had stayed with her.

    Anyway, just my two cents.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry he is struggling. I think it's great you talked him into trying it again next week.
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    You are doing good mom. My son started TKD about a month or so ago. It's so good for him. It is a strict class, but there are all age groups. It's hard for them to stay at attention and engaged for an hour. I think he's learning some great things here. Things about not giving up, and facing difficult situations. I think it's part of the TKD principles: Indominable spirit. I think you are doing the right thing. Hugs for you and difficult child.