Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by nerfherder, Oct 31, 2014.

  1. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    Tomorrow is Kiddo's move-out day. The van is packed up, I have all the paperwork in case they need more copies of stuff.

    I'm not sure what to think right now. Or what to feel. I'm running on automatic, I guess.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Hugs. Transitions like this aren't easy.
  3. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    No, it seems they aren't.
  4. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I looked, but I do not find the post telling us the underlying story. I stand ~ we all do, nerfherder ~ in the pain of this separation with you.

    Can you see yourself practicing Radical Acceptance through this time?

    For us, and for our children especially, there are times when something has to change for there to be room for a different, better result.

    It isn't easy, but it is the thing to do, next.

    It takes a different kind of bravery than we knew existed, to look at that one head on.

    I'm sorry, nerfherder.

  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How are you doing today Nerf?

    These kinds of days are filled with such a collection of emotions all jammed together happening at the same time, it is difficult to discern which one has precedence...........perhaps "automatic" is a safe bet........I hope you get to take really good care of yourself today........being gentle and kind to yourself.........sending warm wishes for as peaceful and calm a day as you can muster.........
  6. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Enjoy your freedom! I think this will open up to an amazing time in your life.
  7. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    A bittersweet day, Nerfherder, regardless of the reason for the move. I hope you have something nurturing planned for yourself.
  8. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    I'm not sure. The timing's right, so my friends are taking me out tonight. Sometime today I'd like a shower. And then... I don't know.
  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Be good to yourself- bittersweet, I know {{{hugs}}}
  10. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    Thank you all.

    If any of you ever read Eric Knight's "Lassie Come Home," remember how she'd get all twitchy every day it was time to meet her Boy at the school? Even while walking back to Yorkshire from Scotland?

    I think I know how pur wee Lassie felt. 4pm I start twitching when the bus usually would drop her off from school.. (I know, it's a weekend, but part of the trigger is that she's not home.) 6:30pm, today, I was twitchy because I kept feeling I had to check for leftovers in the fridge to make her supper.

    I did get a lot of random things done today, starting to see all the little things that need to be dusted. Rearranged things in our... MY trailer cottage. Put up a curtain at the sleeping nook so I can keep only where I need heated at night. Started winterizing the windows (nights get cold in the desert/range this time of year.)

    Last weekend we helped butcher a hog for the first time. She helped, it was her last big job with me. I'm only thinking about it because RN is working an overnight shift in one of the little rural towns an hour or so away, Blacksmith drove her in so she could nurse the Youngest Little Viking on her first break, then he drives home and goes to pick her up in the morning. So he and I have been chatting about dinner tomorrow, and what plans to make - dutch oven on the woodstove or bake on the grill?

    Meat loaf with ground pork we helped feed, and I helped make. Pretty amazing. And I did get that shower yesterday, Blacksmith took me out to celebrate, and since my birthday almost a year ago when I woke up with a hangover *and* Norovirus, I just don't have the capacity for alcohol anymore. I did enjoy my night, the hangover was moderate, but I treated it with Pepto and leftover steak-fries. :) Swinging a bit between enjoying the capacity to not stress over Kiddo, and shaking a bit because of this constant feeling of Having Forgotten Something.
  11. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Overall it sounds like a great day, Nerfherder. Sounds like you are decompressing a little bit and settling into the new "normal."
  12. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    It is appropriate and sincere to grieve over all the things that might have been, as we accept what it all devolved in to. Now will be time to redefine what you mean to yourself. It will be a time to remember that the core of you is some wondering, indefinably beautiful something, and to allow that to unfold into what it will ~ into something you cannot see, now.

    Like in the morning, just before the sun comes up.

    That hushed time of certain expectation.

  13. nerfherder

    nerfherder Active Member

    I called the house this morning. We had to do a last-minute IEP review because I didn't know that the bus garage would NOT change her pickup address without it - since she's SpecEd and on IEP. So that was done Wednesday afternoon, Thursday morning they got the IEP, nobody ever called me with the schedule change, Friday was no school (Nevada Day, state holiday), so I was calling Transportation every half hour since 5am until someone picked up (at 6:30.) Her pickup is about a half hour later than usual, as she's closer to the school - so she'll have to adjust to a later wake-up time. :)

    I talked to the House Manager this morning too (after Kiddo learning that she has to hand the phone off to a grownup and NOT hang up after saying "bye" to Mom - it took three call-backs before she got it right!) and she had a very good weekend, no crazies, no tantrums, nothing worth calling me about. I told them to check with her, see if she wants to call me after school and tell me about her school day.

    Just... quite an awesome thing to hear. I'll check with her school aide, see if she's having any behavioral stuff.
  14. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    All sounds good Nerf. Thanks for the update. Hopefully soon you can breathe a deep sigh of relief.
  15. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I love the sound of this! It is so amazing they have support like this available for your girl!