Well then? I'll tell you the Easter Story - cause it happend when he was 11. Poor kid. (slight gross warning - but funnier than the freakin rat story)
Okay so Dude is eleven years old and we're figuring he's about too old for hiding Easter eggs right? Wrong. He begged me to hide them one last time. So I go out to the shed, I get the eggs and I fill them with candy, and I have the one golden egg just like Wonka has the wrapper and it has $10.00 in it. Normally I wouldn't do it, but the poor kid has missed so many holidays being in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s and he was on home visit so we said okay let's make it special. This was the Easter he'd never forget. We had dinner, and he had a modest Easter basket nothing over board you know - the therapist said not to make home treats outrageous so we were following orders. Before the hunt we decided to have breakfast! I think it was eggs and bacon, but we were out of bread so I ran to the store to get a loaf of bread and Dude wanted to ride along.
As we got down the road in front of the neighbors house we could see what looked like a small red fox laying dead on the road and turkey vultures taking off from the carcas. Just so sad. We carried on, came home. Never really thought anymore about it. Had breakfast, and then went out for the big Easter Egg hunt camera at the ready!! Our last hunt - our boy was growing up you know. So there he was with his basket running back and forth, DF and I watching from the porch as he canvassed the yard looking for the golden egg! Then in a flash we had a visitor, one of those buzzards from down the road landed in our tree as if he was watching Dude. The golden egg was hidden so well we started yelling out "warmer, colder" clues for him and as he got closer to the golden egg, even that buzzard seemed to take notice. Just as Dude was getting to the RED HOT part of the hunt that danged buzzard flapped his wings, and PLOP.....out of his mouth came ----something, it was red, hairy.....and it nearly hit Dude in the head. It happened simultaneously with Dude grabbing the golden egg and yelling "I FOUND IT" and OH YUCK GROSSSSssssss." then EWWWWwww and we came over to see what it was. Dude nearly gagging, bent over, running towards the house with his basket, but still clutching the $10.00 from the golden egg.
DF got on scene first and held up a hand telling me to stay back. So I stopped mid stride - Buzzard still very much above on the limb now flapping, frustrated - staring ----and what I had assumed was a dead fox earlier was actually our neighbors pomeranian...and what was in our yard? Was the back part of that dog! DF just stood and looked at Dude and said - "You're the only kid I know that got a visit from the Easter Buzzard, and you know how I know it's an Easter Buzzard? Cause your dog killed the Easter Bunny and brought him in the laundry room earlier this year and you thought it was a big freakin rat." Apparently it was a funny guy thing - because as a Mother - I didn't think it was funny at all - but they thought it was hillarious.
He NEVER asked to go on an Easter egg hunt EVER again. But every time he sees a buzzard - he calls them the Easter Buzzard. DF did get a shovel and he and Dude went down and burried the neighbors dog for him while he was at work and didn't mention the buzzard part to him ever, but all parts were accounted for in the grave on their property. Fortunately for Dude? There are no molds of Buzzards to make him a specialized chocolate buzzard or he'd get one. lol.