Hi Joann, and welcome.
I hope you read more around the site - we may speak of our children's diagnoses and symptoms, but the very *primary* purpose of this site is to provide support to parents who are struggling in day-to-day life, because of those very symptoms and diagnoses. I've been a member here now for over 13 years. When I found this site, recommended by one of my son's teachers, I literally cried in relief. Up to that point, the only "help" we had gotten was the endless parenting classes (which, truth be told, were helpful up to a point), well-meant but useless advice from our parents that our son just needed a good spanking, and a boatload of judgement from family members, teachers, and other professionals - we *must* be horrible parents to have a child who thought nothing of breaking windows, assaulting adults, kicking police officers, etc. ad nauseum. I just needed to know that we were *not* alone, that we *weren't* the worst parents in the world because our son was completely out of control, and .... well, honestly, I cannot put into words how blessed I felt to find this place, this collection of remarkable parents who didn't judge me and who totally got the hell that we were living in because of my inability to manage my son's behaviors or to find meaningful help.
A label (or diagnosis) is simply a starting point. My signature states that my oldest has CP and epilepsy - but that's *just* the starting point. He's got a wicked sense of humor, a smile that lights the world, and requires 24/7 care. He is most definitely NOT defined by his "labels" but at the same time, they are an integral part of who he is. When I was in a support group for parents with- physical disabilities, his "labels" were a kind of shorthand to other parents. Same goes for my difficult child, though in my experience, psychiatric/behavioral diagnoses are far less specific. Bipolar is just the tip of the iceberg (and I'm really not even sure he is bipolar at his stage). But it's a starting point.
I think the beauty of this site, and part of its purpose for being, is that we *do* recognize that our kids are far more than the labels. We want them to become functional, law-abiding adults - which for some of us was/is asking a lot given the behaviors we were/are dealing with. By sharing with the community here, we can brainstorm, come up with suggestions/ideas to help our kids be successful in home/school/community, or at the very least, offer a soft shoulder and compassionate understanding, without judgement.
As someone who has relied on this board for over a decade, and who survived raising an incredibly difficult child in no small part due to the suggestions and support I received from the good folks on this board, I can tell you that the whole point of this board is to offer support to parents as they try to navigate the pitfalls of raising children who have challenging behaviors, as well as dealing with professionals who sometimes *do* only see the label and forget that there is a whole child there.
Again - welcome. I hope you will continue to look around and join in.
ETA: One of the reasons I'm still here is because perhaps my experience will help others. And also, to be honest, to provide some hope - my kid was a disaster, behaviorally speaking, and I wasn't sure he'd survive to adulthood. As I type, he's sleeping peacefully in his room in our home. He is an utter delight - kind, thoughtful, helpful. Virtually unrecognizable when compared to the whirling dervish he was 10 years ago - and a lot of the current board members remember him back then. It's nice to share the joy of him getting a GED with people who *totally* understand what a huge accomplishment that was for him. It's good to have a collection of people who can savor the good stuff after supporting me thru a lot of not so good stuff.