Update from Crazyland.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by CrazyinVA, May 5, 2011.

  1. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I've been kind of scarce for awhile, so I thought I'd give a general update on life in the Crazy household.

    Oldest is doing fairly well, is now working three different jobs .. bartending at two different places (one full time, one part time), plus just recently started working for the local bartending school coordinating job placements. Go her! Funny, she still insinuates she's having trouble paying her rent.. but I'm not biting. She's had some health issues, several related to her Crohn's, and was hospitalized a couple of times. I'm praying the Crohn's is not going to ultimately flare again in a bad way. We shall see. She still has no health insurance, and the medical bills just go unpaid. She recently *thanked* me for everything I've done for her and her sister over the years, and actually *apologized* for all she put me through in the past. She says I'm the strongest person she knows. Wow.

    Youngest's relationship with her fiancé finally disintegrated and I drove to Florida at the end of January to pick her up along with her two children. They've been living with me, and looks like they'll be there for the foreseeable future. There is nowhere else for them to go. The Section 8 program in our area is closed to new applicants, she can't even get on the waiting list. No telling when they'll open it up again, but even if they do, I'm sure the waitlist will be years long. It kills me since she gave up her Section 8 to be with the loser fiancé just a year ago. The child care assistance program is still open, however, she can't apply until she actually has a job (what a catch-22 that is), and then the waitlist is 18-24 months. Since there is not much chance she'll find a job that will cover the cost of child care for two children, I'm not hopeful. I am not willing to give up my evenings/weekends to babysit for her while she works those hours. The current plan is for her to get her GED, and then enroll in some type of certificate program at the local community college, to increase her earning potential. She's thinking phlebotomy. She's battling her son's father over unpaid child support, she's gotten some but not much. Her fiancé/daughter's father was sending money, but he's now in jail and will be for who knows how long. She's getting WIC for the baby, and is applying for food stamps, so that will help somewhat since my grocery budget with them living there has skyrocketed. She's generally respectful and appreciative, with some true difficult child moments thrown in once in awhile, but it's working out ok so far (I wasn't too sure, in the beginning). I'm just glad she and the kids are safe and out of the situation they were in.

    I decided to pay for part-time preschool for my grandson, because he desperately needed the socialization. It's killing my budget, but I think it's worth it for his sake. I've seen a vast improvement in his behavior and overall disposition since he started. When they first got here, I even wondered if he was becoming difficult child-like.. but he's really gotten so much better and I think now that his occasional tantrums are more of the 'normal' four year old type. He desperately needed stability and structure, that's clear.

    My granddaughter has significant developmental delays. She's 10 months old and just now sitting up, and is unable to roll over or creep or crawl. She's gotten into the Early Intervention Program in our county, has had a full evaluation and they put her development level at about 5 months. A physical therapist started working with her just this week, at our home. She also has feeding issues, and has been scheduled for a feeding clinic and full evaluation with more therapy for that, starting in June. The good news is, after being an incredibly fussy baby for the first 8-9 months, she is now smiling and laughing and seems quite happy. Very friendly and engaging, great eye contact and interaction, no signs of issues there.

    I'm struggling with resentment over giving up my life for my kids once again. I can't stand the *noise* in my house, more than anything… especially when the baby is screeching and the toddler is whining. I stay in my room and turn on my white noise machine when it gets bad. I'm still keeping up a social life and try to go out a few times a week, and that helps, but since Youngest has no car and there is no bus service where we live, I'm stuck chauffeuring and/or sharing my car with her and it is pretty stressful. Hoping to be able to buy an extra car for her to use in the next month or two, so that should improve. It will be my car, in my name, and I'll allow her to use it, until she can either buy it from me or buy her own. She'll have to pay for gas and insurance out of her child support, or by working it off for me somehow.

    So, that's it from here. Now you know why you haven't seen much of me lately. Life is pretty chaotic., and will be for awhile.
    Last edited: May 5, 2011
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Sorry to hear about all the chaos in your home. Just make sure you keep up the social life and do for yourself.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow - Yeah oldest! Isn't it great when they thank you for everything you have done! You just know that light bulb went on at some point.

    Glad youngest got away from fiance - sounds like he was no good!

    Sorry you have lost some peace in your life. I am really glad it has settled down a bit for your sake soon - I hope good things happen soon. I can not believe you have to have a job to get assistance - that is backwards!
  4. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Hi Crazy, So sorry things have gotten so chaotic for you again. I hope things work out and difficult child gets on good assistance or gets a decent job and can move out soon. Remember to keep taking care of yourself. Don't get lost in the shuffel again, you worked too hard to get to a point where you could be peacful within. Yeah on oldest's taking care of herself and working!
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry things are so tough. Hmmm....maybe we should see if Jamie needs a live-in nanny/helpmate! He does have a room off the living room with a bed in it and a boy and a girl which would work out for the kids...lol. And there is bus service up there!
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Oldest sounds like she's on the right track.

    Youngest.........well stinks she has no where to go but your house, but is better than with the loser.

    When she checks out the phlebotomy program...........make sure she asks if she can get the certificate and work just by taking the actual phlebotomy class itself........or if she has to go through a whole program. I was never so mad as to do 6mos of classes to then discover that all I had had to do was take the actual class itself, do the clinical and then the state exam to work. All that wasted time and money really ticked me off. I was lucky as the classes I took also applied to nursing which I went on to..........but many places will make it sound like you have to do the year, when in fact you just have to take the class, pass the state exam to work. ugh Figure best she know beforehand as she can get to work faster.

    It's not hard. Just for me it was incredibly boring. I don't do boring well. lol

    Glad you're still taking time for yourself.

  7. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks everyone. Hound dog, the phlebotomy program at the local CC is one course, and the clinical, then you can take the certification exam. I don't think she could handle more than one class at a time, to be honest, so I think this is a better goal for her than something like the CNA program, which was her other idea. School was always a real struggle for her.