update from miss poopy pants

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Sep 28, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Super frustrating not to have a router for my lap top and the drivers for my printer just wont re-install making my perfectly functioning printer just a copy machine and fax machine. uggg. Anyway it is so hard to type on my phone and lose things over and over so I really do apologize but I am trying. I'm not feeling great today.

    I am almost afraid to say this because it will make it real. I feel like things are not going to work out in the new school building because the integrity of the program changed. The overall sp ed director left, the director of the program that Q is in left and his teacher just seems to be a poor communicator and frankly too new and not very insightful. I think that the new building is a huge waste of space because what was to be for the good of these really needy kids turns out to be a prize to show off.....and now they are so worried about what he might do to their expensive new building that they were mentioning concerns before school even started. They have been in school less than a month and already (and overall Q has been there from mid april to beg. of June, then 14 half days during summer ESY and now less than a month..in total what the heck? He is supposed to be all fixed now?) We had to have a meeting to clear up communication and now I got a call from the legal aid people saying the director of the school called and said the same damn thing, that I am saying no one can ever touch Quin etc.I have never ever said that. NEVER. The former director of the program did say that because he felt it would escalate Q as an individual but not that it was forbidden of course. Just not best practice. He is not there now to protect Q. We had a meeting to clear that up and I made it clear that of course it is not first line of intervention but if needed ever I would obviously understand. I would expect only trained and certified people did it given what has happened in the past, and they themselves said it is always a last resort. I think she is just saying this over and over as a reason to get rid of him. They put a program for aggressive kids in a room with expensive equipment and then complain. I dont get it. They ask for suggestions and when i give them they say well that equipment is in the severe Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) program...ummmm I was told that they individually program not go by disability category or program name....why in hell is all the sensory equipment in one program? And by the way, Q is AUTISTIC! Then they said well if they get a swing then Q might break it...HUH??? he has never broken a swing or such a thing like that.
    Turns out the dis. law center attorney sent out a letter regarding his feelings about some issues and it is to all directors in all districts who use those procedures and has nothing directly to do with Q but since we are using their services it may be something that scared the district directors. (according to my legal advocate who has some different opinions about how this might have been handled though she respects his position).....so OMG I feel like it is all starting over and to tell the truth I can't take it. At least I feel like that today after that phone call. I know I'll pull it together and do ok but today it feels terrible.
    I was told they stick with these kids, this is where he belongs etc. I am just sick. I feel lied to. The director said maybe he belongs at their other site. WELL, the other site is a secure, metal detector type of site where all the kids with conduct disorder go. The program Q is in at that site uses individual small "offices" for each kid...so they are all alone. He is not a criminal and the only kids he would be around would be such negative influences I could puke. But what choice will I have if they say it is that or nothing. They have no obligation to keep him because our district bought a spot from them and they are not co op members so his being there is a favor to us, ugg. There is no where else. If these "experts" can't do it the dinky program in our district can't do it and it is just all too much.

    The law advocate had just closed our case and she actually called me...since the director had called her and NOT ME (not knowing it was closed) and said she would be happy to reopen it and fight this, she sees it coming to.

    I feel hopeless. Just not myself. I wanted to take it out on Q for doing this to me too...and obviously I know that is not fair nor could I even do that but I was just so mad at him for being him, how unfair is that????
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry to read your post. Even when we don't really believe that a program will work, it is just human nature to hope and pray that it will be perfect. When the optimism starts to wane and then crashes it knocks the wind out of us and it takes awhile to fall back and regroup. Very few parents have faced such complex issues with so much consistent love and perseverance. I had a few times when I just isolated myself in a motel room so I could cry, scream into a pillow and then sleep with-o interruption for one day. I know that my difficult child problems were minimal in comparison to yours. I have no answers but my heart breaks for you. Even outstanding Warrior Moms deserve a break. Hugs DDD
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm so sorry. I had hoped that the new school would be exactly what Q needed, both for him and for you.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Oh, Buddy. Mega, mega {{hugs}}.

    Re-open the case, yes.

    One way or the other, the "home" SD owes Q an education and a life...
    Even if it means they have to set up their own entirely new program, designed by Q's support group, and run to your standards, just to accommodate Q (but to include other kids because Q needs that too).

    After what psycho did?

    But... how do you find the strength, and the patience, and the bits to cope with, to do that NOW?
  5. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Oh Buddy!!!!! Seems that the 2 of us is 'in sinc' AGAIN!!!!! I am also out of options! Just pull yourself up and know tomorrow things might look better!
    Lots of hugs!
    Thinking of you!
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh I'm so sorry! It seemed so promising. You know, it isn't just Q who loses out. It's ALL the kids. School bldgs are made for kids. What the h*ll does she expect!!!!!!
  7. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Hi Buddy,
    Haven't seen your posts in a while, and was hoping this was good news. Just big, caring hugs going out to you, dear Buddy. Is Q doing OK overall in the new school compared to where he was, or about the same?
    I'm sorry the directors bailed, I bet that was a shock. Sigh.
  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Buddy, I am so sorry. What a huge disappointment for you. I feel so bad, after all you've been through. I would feel all those feelings you're feeling too.................try very hard to do something very special and nice for yourself today.........((((HUGS))))
  9. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. I was so much hoping this new school would work for Q, but it really seems that they have their priorities seriously mixed up. :(
  10. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending Hugs
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh, sending many hugs yours and Q's way. I'm so sorry this is not turning out the way you had hoped. I don't understand why they don't "get it". Sigh...
  12. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Oh Buddy hugs to both you and Q. I was so hoping that this was the school for him. I am praying that things improve.
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I guess it was the good people (that moved) not a good program that was so promising. Any way to get in touch with the people who moved? Maybe have Q follow them to their new place of work? Or they might have suggestions on how to deal with the idiots who are scared of the building getting banged up.

    I hope your computer gets fixed soon. You have been through so much. Can you read your pm's? It is going to take a bit to get back on your feet, but you'll do it. It's what we do.
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member


    Boohoo they retired. But the director is consulting and the legal advocate is calling him first.
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    That legal advocate is definitely a sharp cookie... and I like her approach.
    Just wish there were some way to speed up the process and get you and Q to where you need to be, NOW.
  16. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    {{{{hugs}}}} buddy
  17. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Buddy, I had been thinking about you and was really hoping that "no news is good news"... I have no word of wisdom.
    I know a while back, you had looked into job training programs but Q was too young. Is he close to the age limit now?
    Big hugs and remember that you can always take a break in NC if you need to!:consoling:
  18. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Adding my thoughts to the others, buddy. Really sorry this has happened. Bide your time, take no drastic action (in case that was in your mind :)), wait to see how things develop. This may be a large bump that can be overriden. Or it may not but in any case you need more time to see more clearly. This has just happened and you are obviously feeling upset.
    Hang in there pardner!!!