Super frustrating not to have a router for my lap top and the drivers for my printer just wont re-install making my perfectly functioning printer just a copy machine and fax machine. uggg. Anyway it is so hard to type on my phone and lose things over and over so I really do apologize but I am trying. I'm not feeling great today. I am almost afraid to say this because it will make it real. I feel like things are not going to work out in the new school building because the integrity of the program changed. The overall sp ed director left, the director of the program that Q is in left and his teacher just seems to be a poor communicator and frankly too new and not very insightful. I think that the new building is a huge waste of space because what was to be for the good of these really needy kids turns out to be a prize to show off.....and now they are so worried about what he might do to their expensive new building that they were mentioning concerns before school even started. They have been in school less than a month and already (and overall Q has been there from mid april to beg. of June, then 14 half days during summer ESY and now less than a month..in total what the heck? He is supposed to be all fixed now?) We had to have a meeting to clear up communication and now I got a call from the legal aid people saying the director of the school called and said the same damn thing, that I am saying no one can ever touch Quin etc.I have never ever said that. NEVER. The former director of the program did say that because he felt it would escalate Q as an individual but not that it was forbidden of course. Just not best practice. He is not there now to protect Q. We had a meeting to clear that up and I made it clear that of course it is not first line of intervention but if needed ever I would obviously understand. I would expect only trained and certified people did it given what has happened in the past, and they themselves said it is always a last resort. I think she is just saying this over and over as a reason to get rid of him. They put a program for aggressive kids in a room with expensive equipment and then complain. I dont get it. They ask for suggestions and when i give them they say well that equipment is in the severe Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) program...ummmm I was told that they individually program not go by disability category or program name....why in hell is all the sensory equipment in one program? And by the way, Q is AUTISTIC! Then they said well if they get a swing then Q might break it...HUH??? he has never broken a swing or such a thing like that. Turns out the dis. law center attorney sent out a letter regarding his feelings about some issues and it is to all directors in all districts who use those procedures and has nothing directly to do with Q but since we are using their services it may be something that scared the district directors. (according to my legal advocate who has some different opinions about how this might have been handled though she respects his position).....so OMG I feel like it is all starting over and to tell the truth I can't take it. At least I feel like that today after that phone call. I know I'll pull it together and do ok but today it feels terrible. I was told they stick with these kids, this is where he belongs etc. I am just sick. I feel lied to. The director said maybe he belongs at their other site. WELL, the other site is a secure, metal detector type of site where all the kids with conduct disorder go. The program Q is in at that site uses individual small "offices" for each kid...so they are all alone. He is not a criminal and the only kids he would be around would be such negative influences I could puke. But what choice will I have if they say it is that or nothing. They have no obligation to keep him because our district bought a spot from them and they are not co op members so his being there is a favor to us, ugg. There is no where else. If these "experts" can't do it the dinky program in our district can't do it and it is just all too much. The law advocate had just closed our case and she actually called me...since the director had called her and NOT ME (not knowing it was closed) and said she would be happy to reopen it and fight this, she sees it coming to. I feel hopeless. Just not myself. I wanted to take it out on Q for doing this to me too...and obviously I know that is not fair nor could I even do that but I was just so mad at him for being him, how unfair is that????