Update of sorts.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Jul 23, 2012.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    It's been a very hectic, chaotic couple of weeks since the incubator hit town. Many of you know that wm left as well a couple of days after kt left.

    I'm attempting to not get buried in the many emotions that are hitting me daily. The biggest emotion being grief. It's felt just like after Steve died. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath for the tears & fears

    I've put boundaries in place. I will not check FB for any updates from the tweedles. I believe that, for the time being, I will be blocking their posts & updates. kt is back in town today (God knows why ... I don't) & has asked to stop by the house to pick up a few things. I asked her for the list & told her I would have them ready on the front porch. kt flipped when I told her that she was, for the time being or maybe life, not welcome in my home. I hung up on her.

    I did text the tweedles & let them know that they would have to reapply for SSI & medical assistance as they have left the state. I told kt in that text since she abandoned her things here they are now legally mine & I will be going thru things & donating them.

    In other words, I will not give my tweedles permission to come & go. I'm too raw, too emotionally fragile to allow them to continue trampling my heart...my soul.

    I have a plane ticket to anywhere Alaskan Airlines flies that I must use by this coming March, so I plan on a bit of travel likely out to the Pacific NW. Catch up with some of you out in that area. I believe there is a new guest room in N. Carolina that I'd like to try out as well. Maybe I'll do some traveling to various & sundry regions & catch up with my CD.com friends. It's all up in the air....

    Thank you, my dear friends & family. It's an honor to know you, & I cherish my friends here more than you can know.

    Life moves on....leave your loved ones with loving words.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the update. I am so glad to read that you are planning a pleasant change of scenery and are seeking out good company. As always I am rooting for you. Hugs DDD
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Thank you for the update. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers...
  4. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sounds like you are in a much better place now. I am glad you have put the boundaries in place, have informed them of the boundaries, and are sticking to them. KUDOS. I am glad you also let them know that now that they are 18, they have to reapply for SSI and MA as adults and that since they have left, YOU aren't going to do it for them or even help them with it.

    I'm even happier to hear that you are planning on doing some traveling....and connecting personally with more of our family here. That is awesome and I am sooooooo jealous!!

    Thanks for the update. Know that I am always thinking of you and praying for you.
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Linda, thank you so much for updating. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, as always. Good for you - the boundaries you've put in place sound great. I love the travel idea! Hugs~
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Linda, I've been praying... It sounds like you are doing quite well, given what's happening. I'm glad you are updating, and have set your boundaries.

    :hugs: We love you!
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda- I wasn't around for a lot of your story, however, from what I can gather now, you've been through a terrible experience. I just want you to know that I am also wishing you peace and sending prayers and hugs.............
  8. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Linda, you sound like you are doing all you can to protect yourself emotionally.....and that is all you can do. If,you do,make it out to the pacific northwest let me know, I would love to meet up with you given the chance.
  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I'm so glad to hear your update and you sound like you are moving into a better place with your emotions. I loved this:

    Life moves on....leave your loved ones with loving words./

    I truly do understand your raw emotions, I've been there so many times myself and oftern in my head said I never wanted to see difficult child again. One time when difficult child asked for some of her things I did pack them in a bag and put them by the garage. That said I think if you have any further communication with either of them you should be honest and tell them that right now your emotions are too raw and you simply cannot see them or have them in your home because of the course they have chosen for their lives but that you wish them well and hope they find happiness. That leaves your loved ones with the loving words you say above. You and I both know that their current actions will lead to nothing but unhappiness but I have found the longer they are gone the more I am glad that there is not the anger that was there in the beginning. That is far too much to ask right now and you are more than entitled to your anger and hurt.

    I want only for you to have peace in your life.

  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    {{{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
  11. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you checked in, I've been thinking about you. Sounds like you're doing all the right things for taking care of yourself in all of this... major kudos on that. I know it's not easy. Hugs.
  12. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    ((((((hugs)))))))) Linda

    It sounds as if your boundaries are firmly in place and I think at this point that is a very good thing. You can adjust the boundaries to suit as time goes on and the situation changes, if it does. I've been at that emotions are raw stage too often recently, so I can understand. Being honest about your feelings ect is good. in my opinion if you're gonna stomp all over someones heart then you'd better be ready to know how it feels and to deal with the repercussions of your actions.

    Enjoy your trip when you decide where you want to go. You deserve a wonderful vacation more than anyone I know.

    You and the tweedles remain in my prayers.
  13. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry Linda. I just pray this creep won't damage them further. I suspect that when their behaviors become too much for her to handle, she's going to dump them back on you or whoever will take them.

    You gave them everything you had, Linda. Hopefully, it will be enough to make them realize, sooner than later, that she's not all what she claims to be. and that you and Steve loved them and nurtured them.
  14. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs, Linda. I'm keeping you in my prayers.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for checking in; you continue to be in my prayers.
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs Linda. I hope that when you decide to make that trip to the guest room in NC that you will remember that I am only a hop, skip and a jump away and will want to see me too. I can jump in my car on a moments notice and come for a short visit. I would love to see you again.
  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Loth, you know how much I value our "family" connection but, lol, I am hoping that Linda will be able to accept that she can not overcome the many issues that are harbored in the children's being. in my humble opinion (and based on my experience) Linda needs to accept the things she can not change. She has already worked like a Warrior Mom changing the things she could change to enhance their future. Truthfully I don't believe anyone could have worked harder and been more dedicated than she has been. on the other hand with my total heart I believe it is time for her to focus on her future and the enhancement of her health and life. I really hope she will not be the "fall back" person for the twins because I see no end to their needs and no way she can save them from themselves. She stays in my prayers.
  18. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    So glad to find this update when I logged on this morning. You are a strong woman, admired by years from me, and I'm not surprised you have pulled that strength from deep inside and made a plan that protects your heart and home. You are a wise woman.

    While nothing can erase the pain, I offer prayers for continued strength and hugs and thoughts from a friend.

  19. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm relieved/glad that you're putting yourself first and have set clear boundaries. I love that you're going to take a vacation!

    As always, thinking about you, praying that as you begin to rebuild your life, you find the peace and happiness you deserve... Hugs... SFR
  20. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm fairly new and don't know your backstory, but wanted to send my support to you. You've been through so much, I pray your vacation will offer some respite relief and change of scenery and you return to peace and health. It's clear you have many friends here who want all the best for you. You must be a very special lady.