Update on home visit

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Nancy, Apr 17, 2011.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We picked difficult child up at the sober house at 11 a.m. They all got two extra hours of home visits today because they worked very hard at their fundraiser last night. We went by the way and difficult child was in charge of face painting the little kids and keeping them busy so the adults could do the raffle and sideboards. They all did a nice job and we got to meet her sponsor and big and little buddy and her house mom. Everyone said so many nice things about difficult child.They all seemed very happy to meet us and said difficult child was so lucky to have such a great support system.

    Today after we got home and relaxed a bit and she put some clothes in the wash we ran up to the mall for a few necessities. Her girlfriend came over and they colored Easter eggs and we ate dinner, I had made her favorite dish, chicken fiesta. We finished laundry, ran up to the grocery store for a couple things to bring back and it was time to go back. The time flew by and I knew she was sad to leave. She wrote on her fb wall that Sundays was her new favorite day and posted some pics of us from yesterday and labeled them the new and improved her.

    We talked on the way back about where she might try to find a job in three months, and about some of the people in the sober house and how she is realizing how lucky she is and how tough their situations are, especially with no family support. She seems to really be getting it and when I asked if she thought all this was going to keep her sober and she said she has to, that she never wants to go back to where she was. She sees many of the other girls having to go to jail for various things and hopefully she is realizing that it can happen to her so easily.

    We had a very nice day and she is looking forward to us picking her up on Easter and going to brunch.

  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Big hugs, Nancy. I'm glad to hear that this went well today.
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Glad you had a great day with her!
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    What a great post! So glad you had a good day, Nancy!
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I"m so glad you had such a great day with her!

  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds wonderful. It is nice to see/hear that she can appreciate her family. Sometimes just being around people that do not have that family is an eye opener. It is nice the place she is staying seems to be mentioning that to her and helping to open her eyes.

    Keeping fingers crossed!!!!
  7. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Such great news! It sounds like they are really working with her in every aspect. I'm so happy for you and her!
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    :bigsmile: DDD
  9. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Glad the first home visit went so well and she is still on track! This seems like a great program for her and like she is gaining maturity fast. And they are right about her having a great home support system - your refusing to support her bad choices and being right there backing her up as she makes good choices on her own (not because she "has to" as in being forced to it by you or the courts, but because she realizes she "has to" for her own sake) is a huge part of her doing so well, and you are to be congratulated.
  10. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Awesome news. Glad you had such a nice visit and better yet, that she appreciated it so much :)
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Way To Go Mom! Way To Go little girl!

    Angels, Angels, Angels!
  12. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    One good day is one day that isn't bad, scary or heartbreaking. Savor each one.
    Next time, make someone else's favorite meal and attend to errands that aren't about her but about other family members.
    Attention seeking behavior can show itself in many different ways.
  13. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well Fran I guess the way I figure it was that she made the right choice, she sought out help and did the legwork to make it happen, no one forced her. Reinforcing that we as her parents support her good choices while not giving in to her bad choices is what I am trying to do. Making her favorite chicken was nothing more than feeling good as a mom that my daughter took the steps to help herself. Prodigal son thing I guess. I actually thought I was doing well by not giving in the whole six weeks she was gone and standing my ground on what we would and would not accept.

    It feels good to celebrate her getting help. She isn't getting much attention living in the attic of a sober home with eleven other women and having no job, no money, no friends, no comforts of home, and a long way to go to surrounding herself in sobriety and learning to live that way. It's a difficult road so I will support that part of her in any way I can.

  14. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Nancy i agree...showing her support and giving some extra attention for her hard work is a good thing...doesnt sound like you are overdoing it or giving in to unreasonable demands.

    You and i have been on such similar paths....i am hoping we continue and that eventually my son does go and finds help for himself....although according to fb he is sober so maybe he is doing better than i expect.
  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks TL, we sure are on similar paths. I too hope your son is staying sober. But if he isn't, something someone said to me really helped. Each time they relapse they are that closer to getting back on track because they have done it before. I also believe your son, in time, will stop blaming you for his problems.

    I am hoping both our difficult child's are on the right path this time.

  16. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Fingers crossed!
    Glad for your family that there have been some good days thrown in this mix.
    Hope and pray that your Easter brunch went with-o difficulties. Prayers, fingers crossed....candles lit...
    May she continue to see the light...do the work.